Wasted my year, wasted every opportunity to bounce back, don't know how to face my parents
I hate myself for creating this situation i am dealing with right now, I finally was able to take a drop year after trying hard to convince my parents to let me Invest a year for this exam, i worked really hard in first few months but started to get distracted thanks to my habit of procrastinating, i lost a big chunk of time and my syllabus is like 10% covered, my exam is in next month on 12th of September leaving me almost less than a month now, I am the biggest fool to waste so much time even when my whole family kept reminding me to study, I kept replying them saying i will manage but here i am, I will 100% not get a seat this year so i had to take admission in some other course because i already will break the trust of my parents and they will not let me take another drop year (somehow managed to convince them that if and only if i fail to get a seat this will be my backup) and i decided to study for this exam and the course side by side in thr future, i regret so much because i could have done an awesome job cracking this exam if only i hadn't wasted this much time, my parents think i still have a chance to crack this but in reality i don't, they invested so much money for the study materials and i wasted everything, i talked to my parents about this few months back and they said i still had a chance but i already gave up back then, i gave up, they have hope for me and i am not ready to face my parents when they see my result, i damaged my career life as well as their trust on me, i feel like i dont deserve them, i am just a disappointment, even if i study now as i want to give this exam again, i can't help it but feel like giving up and stop studying and just run away, i know what my results will be but i am too coward to face the consequences, i can't talk about this to them, after this year i want to try again but without online classes i can't crack this exam and for that i will again have to ask them for money, i have collected some but i still need more, i dont have any course i like besides this so i will have to ask them again, i honestly feel like shit for this but my life will be miserable if i dont do this, i wish i had an option to disappear somewhere where i don't disappoint others especially my loved ones, i wish i had the courage to even say sorry for being a daughter like this to them but i am a coward
So you have just under a month to prepare for this exam now. Realizing that your procrastination might have jeapordized in passing this exam, even with just under a month to study, don't give up now. Set little goals each day, with breaks in between. It's a good sign that you still like this course, and that it is something that you're sure you'd like to go forward with. You might have been unproductive with your time the past year, but it doesn't mean it's all gone to waste. I'm sure other things have happened that helped you grow as a person.
It's okay to feel disappointed, know that you've still got that chance to do this exam. Your parents seem to still have faith in you. All our parents have some sort of expectations with our education, yes, they may feel disappointed, but they will always be on our side.
Do try and start studying for this exam now, you've still got a chance! Cheers~
@Nightsky32
Thank you so much, I am doing my best now, whatever is done is done I can't change the past, but I can work hard for my future, as you have said I did learn important things this year so its not exactly wasted ^_^ I want to achieve great things and this regret won't stop me from doing this now
@Nightsky32
Hey there. I just read your post. I am sorry to hear how stressed out over results you are and how worried you are about disappointing your family. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with the upcoming date of your exam and you're scared of failing so much that this failure causes you to feel hopeless and want to give up before it arises. Your situation is very relatable and I can understand why you do not want to be honest with your parents about what is going on. It sounds like your family cares very much about your studies and about you.
So the test is on September 12th... that gives you a good amount of days to study or to refresh your mind. Do you know what you struggled with before? It is best to focus on what you struggle with the most rather than trying to learn everything all over again. The mind can shut down if you try to feed it too much information.
Also how do you feel about letting your parents know what is going on? It might make you feel better if you're not struggling with this test anxiety alone.
Hello, thank you so much for taking your time reading and replying, this is exactly how i have been feeling, so yeh I decided to study what I can improve with the time I have left and that it would be beneficial when I give this exam again next year and I know I can do this, As for the letting them know part, tbh I don't think I will ever be able to let them know, I 100% get what you said but It will require a lot of energy from myself and I am already exhausted with everything going on, there are other reasons too which makes me feel I am not ready to share this with them, well anyway I have decided to go with the flow and just prepare myself for the future :)
I can understand not sharing with them and your reasons are completely valid. I am glad to hear that you have decided to go with the flow. I wish you the best of luck.
Hi what studies are you applying for?
Hello, if you are referring to the exam, its pre medical entrance exam, if you meant the course I decided to take to study side by side, its a degree course focusing on chemistry and biology (BSC)