Comparisitis - The comparison trap
Image by Content Pixie https://unsplash.com/photos/2V5PJgGqyts
Comparisitis is when you're focused on someone else's "success" instead of focusing on your own!
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt proud of yourself and were happy with the success you achieved but when you scrolled through social media and saw all the achievements of others and it felt like what you just mastered wasn’t really all that special?
The voice in your head might be telling you “You can’t match their performance so don’t even try. It’s not worth the risk because you might come up short!”
This can feel very painful and lead someone to give up trying.
Participation question:
When do you feel that you compare yourself with others?
How does it impact your self-esteem?
Helpful Video suggestion:
To overcome challenges, stop comparing yourself to others
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others? Psychology Yale Professor
Seeking Help
Comparison causes you to look away from the good things in your life and focus on what you don't have instead. If it is not addressed, comparison can lead to poor mental health and issues like anxiety and depression.
If you have serious, long-term problems with comparing yourself to others and feel they are related to any mental challenges please see your doctor or talk to a therapist.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information click on this link https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
Taglist updated 4-10-23
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Some people are more envious of others, but as you mature, that feeling lessens.
@Fradiga
I believe so too, maybe not for all but for many age comes also with a feeling of being more okay with how things are.
@amiablePeace77. When I compare myself to others it can be painful. Learning to focus on the good things in my life like the Yale professor in the video suggested has been helpful for me. It helps to remind myself of all the good things in my life 😊.
@adventurousBranch3786
We all have beauty in us and your beauty shines all over the site! Nice that you learned to focus on the good things in life. I believe it helps a lot with any struggles we might have.
@amiablePeace77 I do this with my mental health. I often feel I should be farther along on this healing path. It feels as though I take more steps backwards than I do forward. I try to remind myself that some people have been on the path longer so naturally they would be farther along but some days it feels like I'm doing everything wrong
@mytwistedsoul
I believe we are all on a unique path but you made a good point about others being on their path longer and naturally farther!
Some day can be harder than usually and make us look into the world through tinted glasses. Here is a link to a video I find very calming to listen to on bad days https://youtu.be/hpnhjJts9Tg.
@amiablePeace77 Thank you :) I'll check it out
@mytwistedsoul
👍
@mytwistedsoul I can attest that my healing journey taken a lifetime with 2 steps backwards before making a 1/2step forward!
@adventurousBranch3786 I'm sorry you go through the same thing but I'm also glad I'm not the only one that feels that way
@amiablePeace77
Ami, I may be unaware, but I do not think I compare myself to anyone. I am my own worse enemy most of the time.🤔
@WorkingitThrough2
One of the hardest things in life is to realize is that we are our worst enemy!
One of the best things in life is to become aware of the fact that we can change and become our best friend and supporter! ❤️
How can you start today to make friends with yourself?
@amiablePeace77
@amiablePeace77
I am kind of unsure but my guess would be to stop listening to my inner critics and learn how to appreciate myself. I know I have gratitude for things and for others. I find myself like I am unsure of who I am supposed to be. You have given me something to search myself about because being my own best friend has never been said to me so I just assumed that was right and have never questioned it,🤔 I will get back to you with a better answer, I hope❤️
@amiablePeace77 I always compare myself to others in terms of success, mostly academic. I did this when I was really young too, like 6 and 7. It continued all the way until college when I really tried to keep myself in my own "bubble." It still is difficult in regards to where all my friends are in life, but I try to remember everyone has a different journey! ❤️
@fruityPond7887
It can be frustrating to see that everyone is farther on their path but some paths are made to give us challenges to learn and to force us to be patient and walk slowly. Often these paths offer the most amazing experiences at the end.
@amiablePeace77 I agree! I think these paths teach us lessons that others may never learn and we can learn a lot more about ourselves by the end! Sometimes, we even may open doors we didn't know where there until that moment😊
@fruityPond7887
So true, sometimes we do not see what is there! (open door)
@amiablePeace77
I have never compared myself to other because i thought i was to unique.
Instead i have an ideal ME to live up to. This has become impossible now that i have gotten older and i cannot do what i once did. I might have not ever reached it but it seemed possible, now it does not.
@Gettingbettertoday
I could imagine it's a daily struggle which is exhausting to live up to your ideal ME. There are lots of things I can't do neither anymore because of my age but I can do other things instead and that's where I like to keep my focus on. It helps me to stay motivated.
@amiablePeace77
Hi Ami:
Because I’m so introverted, I always feel everyone else has better social connections.
@UberRuminator
Most people in my surroundings have much better social connections than me and there was a time that I felt bad about it until I realized it's actually me who does not want to socialize that much and who is very fine with being by myself. (I love to have deep 1:1 conversations though). I think social media makes people believe one needs to have lots of connections, going here and there and for some people it's the right thing but that's not what makes an introvert happy. Acceptance on how I am helped me a lot to be happy with being more on the introverted side.
May I ask if you have you accepted yourself as being an introvert?
@amiablePeace77
I’ve known I was an introvert since I was a kid. I’m mainly okay with it - and often prefer being alone. The older I get, however, the more isolated and lonely I feel. I’m fine with having just one person to chat with as opposed to being Mister Popularity. The problem is that I generally can’t even find that.
@UberRuminator
I hope coming here will help you to socialize and also have some good chats. It's not always easy to find people who just want to have a good chat. To me charity organizations are good places to meet people who are more interested in a good chat instead of going to events.
@amiablePeace77
Ami, hello
I added my name but am not getting tagged?
@WorkingitThrough2
It usually takes a few days to process new subscribers but you should be tagged for the next threads. If any problem please come back and let us know.
@amiablePeace77
thanks