Feeling at ease
Not feeling comfortable in one's own self means not accepting who you truly are. It's very important that we are surrounded by positive people whether in real life or online to have a better life satisfaction, a healthier well-being, and higher levels of motivation.
Here are some points to reflect on:
Identify whether you're more of an introvert or extrovert.
If you’re an introvert and frequently go to events just to please others it can feel difficult to feel at peace inside. Vice versa it can be hard to stay most of the time at home if you are an extrovert because you might recharge your batteries by being around others.
Reflect on your expectations
Having expectations towards yourself can be a good thing and help you with discipline and goal settings. However, too high expectations, whether towards yourself or others, can lead to frustration and disappointment.
Reflect on your boundaries
Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries helps to prevent feelings of resentment, disappointment, and anger that build up when limits have been pushed.
Exercise to ease into being alone with yourself
Set a time for 5 minutes where you will not be interrupted
Close your eyes
Take some deep breaths slowly in and out - breathe at a pace that makes you feel comfortable
Do this every day for at least 2 weeks and observe how you feel differently than when you started on the first day
Sitting with our thoughts and feelings can be tough. It can feel unnatural, but it also helps us better understand ourselves and what we need. With practice we can ease into being alone with ourselves and feeling comfortable about it.
Video suggestion:
The Power of Mindfulness: What You Practice Grows Stronger | Shauna Shapiro | TEDxWashingtonSquare
Participation question:
- How easy or how difficult is it for you to be alone with yourself?
- What makes you feel good about yourself?
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation
https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/
To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
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@amiablePeace77
- How easy or how difficult is it for you to be alone with yourself?
I'm having a difficult time being alone again after 25 years. All I do is work. I got used to having someone to come home to.
- What makes you feel good about yourself?
Not much. I don't even like looking in a mirror at this point.
@courageouspanda2006
It's not easy to adjust to a life alone and redefine yourself after having lived with someone for such a long time. Often a breakup leaves people with lots of doubts about themselves too and they might start to dislike themselves. So sorry you're going through this now. 💙
Do you have any passions or hobbies? It can help to join groups who have similar interests.
@amiablePeace77 I am okay being alone with myself but I become more aware of what is happening in my mind.
That can be an advantage when I have to relate to people that are hostile without reacting to them.
@amiablePeace77
I needed this.
I'm not sure what to expect of myself. I think there is value in a quiet yet reflective life. You don't need to have a huge impact, you just need to love yourself in order to attain peace.
Being alone is where I'm most comfortable. Lately though, I feel I barely know myself, so it's been hard to not overthink and overanalyze. So I take solace in people's company.
I only feel good when I feel like I'm not messing everything up, rather having a positive impact.
@cyanessence
I understand that feeling to have a positive impact makes you feel good, it makes me feel good too. Do you think you might be too harsh on yourself when you make mistakes though?
Glad to hear that you can find comfort with people around you.
@amiablePeace77
I have unprocessed trauma around how I tortured myself because of the mistakes I made. I refuse to fall into that trap again. I still make mistakes, but I learn from them and move on. I'm proud of myself.
@amiablePeace77 Im actually a very outgoing and social introvert 😁 I'm fine with people and alone. I think this is very important, re establishing boundaries because if you are not comfortable with an aspect of yourself, you can feel lonely and this loneliness seeks you to find validation in the wrong places and from the wrong people, leaving you attached, and creating even worsening loneliness. Learn to love and support you one day at a time, know your value so someone unsuitable doesn't determine it for you 💜🥰