Staying socially connected
People are social beings, so when we’re socially isolated we might start to feel lonely, become afraid of others or even develop negative self-esteem.
Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks of health problems, such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.
Participation question
What are you currently doing to stay socially connected?
What are things that make it easier and or more difficult for you to connect with others?
Helpful Videos:
Helpful Resources:
Three Ways You Can Use Technology to Stay Connected While Physical Distancing
Loneliness and Social Isolation — Tips for Staying Connected
WHY KEEPING CONNECTED IS SO IMPORTANT
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation
https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/
To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
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@amiablePeace77 What are you currently doing to stay socially connected? I socialize here sometimes
@mytwistedsoul
I'm so glad that you come to socialize here despite the lies anxiety and depression tell you! You are loved and appreciated here!
@amiablePeace77 Thank you so much for saying this! I hope you know how much you are appreciated and loved too ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
That's very sweet of you to say, thank you and yes I can feel it! 😊
Hi Soul, I relate very much to what you've said here.
It helped me to read it from another someone (aka like here on 7cups) that it may be my anxiety that is telling me, "don't call (insert name of friend or family), you don't want to interrupt them."
It is negative thinking that tells me, "(Name of friend) doesn't want to talk to you anyway" or similarly, "If he cared, he would call me" or "Why do I always have to be the one to start the phone conversation? Can't I rely on a friend to just call for no reason, or for a reason?" Long term or sustained relationships, friends, family, sig. other, etc, can be hard! My thought says, "Don't call them, they can call me." which can lead to some very lonely feelings. (sigh)
@mytwistedsoul I'll send you a hug ... (got it?) <3 Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370 Hey Platy :) I'm sorry you can relate but kind of grateful to know that it's not just me. It's really hard fighting these thoughts all the time. Even here with replies or forum discussions :/ I can't tell you how many times I type and delete
I try to chat with some friends often, to make both of us to be more socially involved. It makes hanging out and having them still around in life easier! :)
@miraculousTouch2949
It's good to have other people in our lives. Just hearing about others' opinions or news they have to share can make one feel much more alive.
@amiablePeace77
What if I don't get lonely from social isolation? and what damage does it do to be lonely when I am around people?
@Gettingbettertoday
I think one has to evaluate the pros and cons in situations. I see benefits in connecting with others irl, even if it is just on a walk to say hello or exchange a few words. Getting a nice hello back or even a few more words can feel good and it can stimulate the brain to keep it active with novelty. This can feel better than spending time with people with whom we can't connect for some reason or when feeling depressed. People often feel out of place or lonely amongst others when they feel sad inside too.
@amiablePeace77 what makes it difficult for me to communicate, is I don't leave the care home. But I'm not lonely, although sometimes it feels like I am. I have my carers and people I communicate with here. Thank God for 7 cups ❤ this is my only way of communicating with the outside world, I love this place and everyone on here ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
I'm so glad that you are here and that it helps you to feel connected with the outside world but also that you have people around you who care about your well-being. You give so much kindness to everyone on the site!
I'd rather suffer the effects of isolation than endure the judgment of others
@Buzzyjoe
It's only understandable that you do not want to be around others who judge you. I hope you feel welcomed here without judgment. To me living in isolation does not necessarily mean feeling lonely. There are many things which can make a person feel connected.
@amiablePeace77
It does to me, I can't lie to myself
@Buzzyjoe
I hope that coming here will help you to feel less lonely. Some people who join the site regularly even make 7cups friends here and meet in the support rooms for a chat.
@amiablePeace77 I believe that being socially active has both benefits and drawbacks. On one hand, it can be great for mental health, as being around people allows you to exchange thoughts, ideas, and experiences, which can be beneficial, especially when you're surrounded by positive individuals. However, excessive socializing can be harmful, as it may lead to over-attachment and feelings of loneliness when you're not around others. Attachment can keep you stuck and make you crave attention. Therefore, I think a balanced approach is best for mental health. Often, spending time alone is more important than socializing just for the sake of it.
@inventiveScarf5214
Good points, thanks for sharing! Socializing just for the sake of doing it can make us more frustrated, it needs to feel right. I'd rather take my time and find someone I can feel comfortable getting in touch with.
The only people I’m ever around are friends of my brother or sister. I don’t have any friends of my own. I’m too painfully shy, have social anxiety and don’t have any social confidence. I don’t know how my social skills are if I have any. But the reason I don’t have any friends is because people don’t want to be friends with me. In grade school, all 12 grades, and even in college, most people never said anything to me or even looked at me. They just ignored me like I wasn’t there.
In my high school cafeteria, someone left their notebook on the lunch table I was at while she left with her friends. I wrote a letter and snuck it in her notebook and pretended as if nothing happened. When she came back she took her books and left. From what I remember the letter was a mystery letter simply saying I wanted us to hang out with and get to know each other and asking her to find me in the cafeteria the next day and I gave her a description of what I looked like and that I’d be at a table most likely by myself as I always am. The next day she found me but immediately after seeing me she laughed and quickly walked away. Her friend came to me and asked me what I wanted with her friend and I said I wanted us to hang out with each other so we can get to know each other and be friends. I also said she seemed nice and I need nice people in my life to be friends with. She said ok and walked away and told her friend everything I said. But nothing happened between us after that.
In 2005, I asked out someone I liked but got a no as an answer. While the rejection hurt, the worst part was that I didn’t get a reason why I got a no.
Because no one wants to be around me or wants me to be around them (unless it’s a friend of my brother or sister and they’ve already met me) Their friends are super friendly and kind but while I feel like I need friends of my own, after years of being socially isolated through no fault of my own of course I’ve accepted/learn to accept, deal, and cope with it and be happy when I’m around people depending on who it is or when I’m by myself :)
@akunknown
Feeling rejected hurts and even more when you're young and also when you do not know the reason why you were rejected. Often one gets caught up in a question loop about why, what did I wrong, how could this have happened! Sorry this happened to you. It takes a lot of courage to write that letter especially for someone suffering from social anxiety. Some people are more drawn to outgoing people because they might feel those have something they do not have others do prefer to be around shy people. I hope you will soon find people who embrace the way you are. Please do not let your experiences define how you think about yourself. You are a good person and I hope coming here will help you to work on the challenges you face. Have you thought about connecting with a listener here for a 1:1 chat to talk about how you feel? It can help to join the group discussions and open chats here on the site to practise chatting with others. Please check here for the discussion schedule mindfulness and 50+ community
You will find the community calendar with daily/monthly events here
You can find a free growth path here (please scroll down to social anxiety) https://www.7cups.com/path/modifier/?type_category_group%5b%5d=community
I hope this helps. Please know that you can message me anytime if you have any questions.
@amiablePeace77: Thank you so much for your beautiful and thoughtful response. I really appreciated it, even more so while reading it. I used to let people’s opinions and thoughts along with past experiences define how I think and feel about myself but the days of people’s opinions and thoughts of me defining me ended long ago.
@amiablePeace77Participation question
What are you currently doing to stay socially connected? going to hang with my friends as much as posible
What are things that make it easier and or more difficult for you to connect with others? my parents taking my wifi thhen not wanting to have to ake my plans for me
@alysianna
Nice that you keep connected with your friends. I wonder whether it could help to find an agreement with your parents on when and how much you can stay online?
@amiablePeace77
no they do not even know i am on here a they would get mad even though it helps me
I wish I wouldn’t want to be social and have a need for people 🤣 But it is what it is…
@greenFarm080808
You are human and it's just normal to have the desire to feel other people's company. Even introverts need to connect to others from time to time. When we miss company it can make us feel lonely and lead to sadness. Do you feel that is happening right now? Some people learn to connect or reconnect to others here on the site by joining group discussions and chats and are able to transfer what they learned into their lives at home. Please check the event calendar for details here. If you like to chat more about what's happening in your life you can always connect with a listener for a 1:1 chat.
@amiablePeace77
Yes that is true. It took me a while to really open up and socialize with people I am not really close friends with. I fear they won't accept me or judge me. But when I slowly started to open myself to getting to know other people in my work. I was wrong. I was accepted and we had fun, laughing and talking. I can be just myself. :)
@Jewelmoon17
I'm very happy for you that you had such a good experience! It shows that it's worth to make an effort and try!