Giving support
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@amiablePeace77 I think honestly listening our presence and our time best thing to do.
@RogueOne1983
Everyone wants to feel listened too and listening to how we feel, what thoughts we have inside can help a great deal.
@amiablePeace77
@Fradiga
Often there is no other option than to "just get through" but I believe doing good self care after it helps to recover.
@amiablePeace77
Yes, self-care is something that is not new in concept. It's a new way to express it in English and actually difficult to translate exactly with a similarly short locution in other languages.
For some, it's a long warm bath, for others, a walk in the woods, petting an animal, smoking something, calling someone to vent, eating comfort food, praying, drinking (herbal tea 80% proof!), shopping in a mall, and making a massage appointment
@amiablePeace77
@soulsings
Nice that you give people hope, it's something which often gets lost when people spiral down.
Good self-care!
@amiablePeace77to comfort others I do my best to listen and let them now they are cared for. And I'm here to help in any way I can
how I comfort myself🤔🤔I hide under my duvet and cry. I try first to seek help here, but mostly I just cry alone, cause I don't want to bring others down with me. I know my problems are not something people want to hear about
@Tinywhisper11
I see you comforting many people here Tinywhisper11 but you matter too and we want to hear about your problems. My pms are always open for you 💙
@amiablePeace77 🙂 thanks ami ❤
@Tinywhisper11
You might feel better if you seek support. Sometimes it's lonely to cry all alone. It's okay to seek comfort from others. Don't forget that you give comfort and support as well. Plus, the other person might appreciate being allowed to be the support system for once.
@GoldenNest2727 yeah! I know. I just don't want to make others sad, just cause I am ❤❤ huggs you
@Tinywhisper11
It's kind of you to consider others, but maybe the dark ball of sadness will begin to lighten for all if it's shared. The unspoken seems to carry more weight, at least in my opinion. I had to put my cat to sleep a few days ago, and I'm very sad about it. I have cried alone, and I've sought support from others. I feel lighter by sharing how I feel, and it gives others a chance to pipe up and share their own grief with me. There is beauty and peace in talking about the ones we've lost. We have a chance to cry and to mourn, but it also gives us the chance to smile as we share funny memories with one another. It lets us keep the love alive. Imagine if none of us spoke up. We'd feel awfully alone. Sharing lightens the grief and the pain. You aren't giving your pain to someone else. It's give and take. Maybe that's an extrovert thing, though. I need to share with others, and I need to listen to others as well. I'd respect someone who wanted to opt out from those conversations. Boundaries are a good thing.
I know that you've been through some extreme stuff. A year or so ago, you would pop into an empty chatroom and tell about your pain. I'd see you and ask if you wanted support or if you wanted privacy, and you always picked privacy. I left the chatroom quickly to respect your wishes. Maybe that's just who you are. You prefer privacy. That is okay. We're all different. You are perfect just the way you are.
Is there a support group you could join with other survivors from your cult/group? Maybe it would help, because you wouldn't feel that you were bringing someone else down. They'd already know what had happened and would've experienced it themselves.
@GoldenNest2727 I'm sorry about your cat😥 it's heartbreaking to loose a family member, even a furry one. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ I'm guess I'm just trying to process things in my own way. Thanks for always being so kind to me ❤❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
You have such a big, big heart. Thank you for your kindness. It really means a lot to me!
@Tinywhisper11
Have you ever tried imagining what the voice of a close friend would say when you're going through a hard time.
Have you ever tried imagining what it would look like if a close friend were looking at your life from their perspective?
What I'm getting at is that if a friend knew what you were going through they would have a lot of compassion.
A hand on your head...
A hand on your back...
A hand in hand...
I've been processing some things in my life for a long time.
We have similar experiences @Tinywhisper11
You're a very emotionally brave person because you continue to be selfless.
Don't let an angry heart confuse you into thinking that you're weak, some of the strongest people hold nothing back, tears and all.
@amiablePeace77 Giving your time and assuring your support is the best you can offer to someone.
@ChromaticFinss
I agree, it's important we support the best way we can.
@amiablePeace77 ❤
When it's someone else, I try to provide practical support.
When it's me, I try to remind myself that this too shall pass. It always does.
@GoldenNest2727
Good reminder that things will pass!
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your cat, my heart goes out to you 💙.
@amiablePeace77
I was blessed to have him. Thank you, Ami, for thinking of me and my beloved cat.
@amiablePeace77
I find these days that nothing works anymore and it's just a matter of tolerance and luck
@communicativePond1728
Showing tolerance towards others is very supportive and can make us see the world in a different light that gives us hope.
❤
@amiablePeace77 going through that as in now.. His going through time and not making it easy for me to be the I decided to give him space
@Andy2024
I hope that giving him space will help you both. When things get difficult I find it's even more important to do good self-care. What are you currently doing to support yourself irl?
@amiablePeace77 I think it might help on my side. I'm taking things slow and try not to think about all of this.. I'm trying to find way forward for myself, if he comes around then we'll take it from there.
@Andy2024
Good idea to take it slow when things are stressful.
