when words aren’t working anymore

@paulinepau It’s tough when words and advice just don’t hit the mark and it feels like you're searching for something you can’t even name. But it’s okay to not have a clear answer right now.

I’m glad you’ve been seeing a therapist but I understand how frustrating it can feel when there’s no noticeable improvement. Sometimes therapy takes time to create noticeable shifts. Besides, healing doesn’t always look like a straight path and sometimes it’s a slow, winding process.

And you know, it’s okay to not find comfort in words. Sometimes, the best thing is just being with someone in silence, letting them sit with you through your pain, even if they don’t have the answers.

@paulinepau

May I ask what your therapist is saying? What personal health issue are you "diagnosed" with?

If that's depression, at some stages of it "just talking" can really be not too helpful, when the thing is rather about bringing back the chemical balance in your brain.

Another option is, maybe talking to your therapist and friends is barely "scratching the surface", while the problem is buried still too deep to properly address it.

Do you think one of this option might be affecting you? Your message is not very specific, so it is hard to tell from it what can be the source of your suffering.

@paulinepau we can have a long conversation on the matter if you're up for it... I'm a good listener.

@paulinepau

When nothing works, philosophy does.

When you can’t find the words to express how you are feel, when the words the words from the people around you don’t seem to help….I think it’s good to find other positive things that may help use feel better and express ourselves.

For example, music does that for me when I am struggling in a hard place in my life, my feelings, thoughts, actions….

Other things could be reading self-help books, finding videos, meditation/mindfulness, self-care, journaling, finding purpose….

@paulinepau

What is your inner dialogue?   

i have had depression and things i was not able to really explain bothering me and waiting or hoping that friends or professionals will say some words and snap me out of it.    the thing is we have most of the control of letting ourselves really accept and follow advice or wisdom given. 

 ...... instead if our inner self talk disagrees or tells us that something they said is wrong we cannot digest what was said anyway.      

i have dialogues with myself sometimes out loud or journal that makes it clear if i am avoiding change... avoiding facing items i need to address. 

@paulinepau

Hi, I get you. Your lucky that you have a therapist, I want one. But my parents would think I'm mentally ill. What are you having the breakdowns about? I have breakdowns when I go to bed about family issues what about you?

Talking about definitely helps.

@paulinepau i relate to this a lot. i went through moments confused about myself as well. i found that if i couldn't find the words perhaps someone else could. someone asked me why i listen to music so much and i found that i listen to the words of the song more and feel it than i vibe with a meoldy. so like the neighborhood, some people are like bleh no i dont like the sound of the band, theyre like tyler the creator fans or like jazz music they listen to music for feeling comfort and serenity. some people like myself like to hear the words and the feelings- a lot of sad music. i like the neighborhood because they say the words i can't express. i can feel things i would suppress- it surfaces. i'll hear some words and go damn- felt- thats honestly how i've been feeling and not have known it until then. its like therapy for me. i recommend the neighborhood and i like rock music too (not metal) but rock because they too help me feel things. the way the artist like scream sings with their raspy voice, there's really nothing like it. to actually hear that emotion- heartbreak that you feel, very therauputic. Bad Omens is the band im referring i recommend as well. If by chance you check them out and don't like them- look at other artists and really hear the words that bring up those suppressed emotions and help you discover things- because you're not just listening to the artist, you're hearing yourself through them. :) May you find the answers you're searching for.

@paulinepau Hi Pauline. Thank you for being so vulnerable on this app. I think it's important to find out what helps you during times to help with the way you feel. If the typical route of, journaling, meditation, and listening to music isn't beneficial, maybe you find something else that is cathartic for you. Whenever you have free time, find something that helps you with your emotions.