Online life beyond 7 Cups - Trauma Support Check-In - September 22-29, 2021
For many members of the Trauma community, online interactions are very important in our lives.
Due to our traumatic experiences, we might have become somewhat fearful and distrusting of other people. Many of us feel we are not understood by those that surround us.
We feel the burden of stigma, particularly if we dissociate, have a flashback, or switch while interacting with other people. Fearing the possibility of such an event (which might have occurred to us in the past), many of us tend to avoid face-to-face interactions.
While these issues should be worked on by themselves, to free us to interact normally face-to-face, online communities give us the opportunity to meet like-minded people, without those fears and concerns.
For most (if not all) of us, 7 Cups is the ultimate online community, where we can be ourselves, disclose our issues, and support each other, without fear of stigma or embarrassment.
We find here people that understand us and care, maybe like nowhere else “offline”.
But, on the other hand, there might be other possibilities and opportunities to develop online our potential in the many interests we might have.
We could benefit from extending our online life to other communities that cater to our particular interests. We can expand there our social life in a like-minded environment, at the times we feel well, and without the risk of being stigmatized.
Besides, it can help strengthen our identity, beyond "trauma survivor" to things like "amateur photographer", "writer", "artist", "runner", etc.
There are many online communities where we can share and get feedback about our artwork, discuss issues that interest us, get and give motivation to walk, run, work out, meditate, you name it.
Chess communities... NaNoWriMo to exchange texts we might write as amateur writers, and get feedback. Coursera or edX to take free online classes on all kinds of subjects, and interact with fellow students.
Reddit has communities for everything, from movie fans, to science buffs, bookworms, gamers, amateur cooks... With 130.000 active communities, you will surely find your hobby there.
We can enjoy all of these to the fullest without the fear of having dissociations, flashbacks or switches in the middle of a meeting or a class.
Interacting with people with our same interests. Expanding and diversifying our life. Developing and sharing the activities, knowledge or hobbies we enjoy the most.
We are much more than just "Trauma Survivors". Let's grow and advance in all our potentials. Dedicated online communities could help us with that.
Note: Never reveal in 7 Cups your usernames in other communities. While these kinds of communities I mention are safe, you should always apply appropriate safety precautions, like keeping anonymity.
Questions:
- How important are online interactions in your life ?
- What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities ?
- How have you been these days ?
I look forward to your comments !
Marcelo.
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@WelcomeToChat
Questions:
- How important are online interactions in your life? Hello, good questions. For me, it is very important seeing that I have no other support, and being isolated makes interacting pretty important.
- What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities? I do an exercise class for seniors online, and in other communities online. I also do DIY interactions online.
- How have you been these days? To be honest, things have been like being on a roller coaster Physical issues, and my own mental dilemmas. wanting to be interactive more and the struggle of moving out of my own imprisonment to try new roles brings new fears of being incompetent. Yet I am still working on tasks because I hate defeat.
@scarletPear1945
Hello Pearl !
Nice to see you again !
I am glad that you find here good online support, that makes you feel connected to other fellow souls.
You benefit a lot from what online communities have to offer. You have become knowledgeable and very smart at this. Congratulations !
For what I know and I have seen of your presence here, you are extremely competent. It's just that we have so many things going on in our lives. We can't excel at all all the time.
But you are great. No doubt about it.
Thank you for participating in this Check-In !
All the best !
Marcelo
@WelcomeToChat
Thank you for those kind words, I wish that I would have had support in my younger days when it was extremely hard. Yet I am thankful better late than never. My desire is to help others reach out for help and not assume that their problems will dissipate over time. I feel if I could have had all the information that is available now I would not be so far behind in my journey. I never had a Voice when I was younger but after the death of both parents and most of my abusers, I feel safe to speak out and to sound the alarm, in hopes that I can help someone. Or just validate them even if it is just one soul then my journey will not have been in vain.
Thank you for all the hard work and support that you give to us. It will not go unrewarded❤️
-
How important are online interactions in your life?
My traumatic experiences, unfortunately, had a lot to do with being isolated, and "imprisoned" (for lack of a gentler term) in my home. So in the past, my online presence was the only way I could feel a sense of normalcy and interact with others. Nowadays, it's less important to me, because I'm learning for the first time all of the skills and joys of interacting with people face-to-face. This has proven itself to be incredibly scary for reasons that you mentioned (like flashbacks, dissociation, blackouts, etc.), plus reasons I hadn't considered like a lack of popular culture context (which can be weirdly ostracizing!) and an inability to understand some social nuance. Overall, though, I have found so much gratification, love, and joy in experiencing things Offline. Being Online is still very important to me, because it's my main learning tool (like 7Cups, Pinterest, etc.) but I'm so grateful that I've gotten to a safe enough space where I can experience both Online & Offline life comfortably and happily.
- What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities?
Actually, I've been on the lookout for healthier online spaces lately. I'm finding that, as beautiful and opportunistic as social media can be, it also tends to be damaging for my mental health. I'm using Digital Wellbeing tools & guidelines to keep myself from doomscrolling, freeze-responding, & emotionally self-harming with social media. In my search, I've found that Pinterest can be very a healthy space for any kind of community that I'm interested in! Some Idea Boards I currently have are for: - Home organization
- Gardening
- Crafts
- Pet care
It's quite remarkable.
-
How have you been these days?
I've had some ups & downs. I had the best week I've had in months last week. I was feeling healthy, motivated, and happy. This week I'm emotionally down somewhat, but overall with much more improvement over the last few months. Thank you for asking. How are you?
@betterchoices
What a great and nuanced answer !
There was a time when you took full advantage of online life, because of your limitations due to trauma.
Then you could overcome those limitations, trespassing, with great effort, the thick barrier of fear, and then free yourself to cultivate a fulfilling face-to-face social life, full of love and joy.
This is a great, great achievement !!!
Congratulations on that !!!!
It's natural that, having avoided face-to-face social life for long, you lacked at first some social skills and current pop culture knowledge, so necessary for small talk and starting friendships.
How interesting your experience with Pinterest ! The user interface concept is amazing. But I have never experienced it as a community (where you express yourself, get feedback, etc) but as a great resource of information and images. Great find !
Have you tried DeviantArt or ArtStation, where you can share your artwork and get feedback, as well as give feedback to others ? (browse thousands of works of all styles as well).
I am glad you had such an energetic and joyful past week! Being a little down now is OK. We all go through cycles. We can't stay at full speed for long, I guess. And you are managing those emotional valleys better and better. This is so important! Not to fall to the bottom when we have those inevitable downs. I think this is as valuable to your wellbeing as reaching and enjoying the hights.
I am fine, thank you ! (I can't tell you more because I am on my Listener account, ha ha !)
Thank you for participating in this check-in with such an honest, insightful, and even informative post !
I wish you all the best !
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat
- How important are online interactions in your life ?
-
Very. No one knows what happened to me outside of on here. Without Cups, I have a very small support system that doesn't know how to help.
- What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities ?
-
I don't know :o
- How have you been these days ?
- Fine I guess? Fine is just a cover word. Everything changes and flips around so fast I don't really know ❤️
@ShapeshiftSystem
Hi !
We are on the same page regarding online life, and 7 Cups in particular.
In fact, I wrote this thread inspired by a post in the DID Forum.
Finding a support system that really understands you and can help is not easy.
The magic of online communities is that you can find very focused and specialized spaces, with people from all around the world that share your same issues.
They also provide spaces free from the fear of rejection due to unexpected dissociations, flashbacks and switching. So until you have good control of these, interacting online is a blessing.
And 7 Cups is nothing short of a miracle. I have seen here so much support, particularly between members with the same issues...
In this thread, I also try to extend this concept, to cultivating interests you might have, through interacting in specialized online communities, where you will find like-minded people that will motivate you, without the fear of dissociating or switching in the middle of a conversation.
You can send your ideas or materials at the moment you feel the best.
For systems, alters could belong to different communities according to their likes, and thus develop their distinct potentialities in a safe way regarding symptoms. There are also safe communities for the little ones, like Club Penguin HERE. Or more complex ones: HERE
I wish I was ATL to offer 1-2-1 listening to you. You seem very nice and kind !
Thank you for participating in this Check-In !
I wish we meet again somewhere on the site.
All the best !
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat Hi, I can't get out of the house too much due to health problems. I find the interactions here to be a lifeline for me! I saw that there are some adult education classes offered on zoom in a University in my community. I am planning to take some classes. I had some anxiety at times but I am feeling fine right now.
@adventurousBranch3786
Hello Branch !
Thank you for participating in this Check-In !
I am glad that the 7 Cups community is so useful to you !
You also contribute a lot to this community.
Your presence here is a blessing.
Go for the Zoom classes ! Wonderful idea !
It will have positive emotional, social and intellectual benefits (on top of learning about something you like).
It will make you feel great !
You seem very capable at dealing with your issues.
I am glad you are feeling well these days.
All the best !
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat Thank you for your kind words!
@WelcomeToChat
1. Online interaction has varying importance for me. I don't interact much, outside of here, a couple of groups, and a loved one. I should do a bit more though, sometimes not having like-minded people around (which, in some ways I don't) kind of weighs after a while.
2. I started learning a bit more about cooking, which is good, but I need to do more of the actual cooking part. You mentioned nanowrimo, and I actually wrote a full novel for that one year - I need to make it happen again. I'm out of the loop on writing, but have a much stronger mind by now. Last night I actually started looking up and trying to learn to play Shogi - it's basically japanese chess on steroids best-suited for conniving minds. I'm immediately not very good at it, lol.
3. I don't know. I'm fluctuating these days. If I could get more sleep I might be less dysfunctional and susceptible to my traumas and anxieties.
I think I went full circle already and am standing still again. This time much more worn and definitely alone. I had started reaching out to several online sites. Some with groups I had joined and liked participating in. Another I was able to share my poetry and share others hobbies. As I kept taking blows I got worn out and those faded out my life. I try to imagine doing it again and it’s not there. I’m thankful to still have some desire left to visit and interact some within 7 cups. How I feel these days is that it’s better to try not to feel. Just a few days ago I lost the last person I had contact with. My dad. In a very tragic way. I am trying to not lose my grip on 7 cups as I feel it slipping away too. I wonder how could my life get to where I am. It took so many big losses all the way to very specific ones. I can remember when I had so much strength. I am not critical of myself like I had been. At least I am now more understanding of how I got to where I find myself today. As well as where it may take me. For now I hope to remain as active as I can here and definitely be supportive.
@WelcomeToChat
-
How important are online interactions in your life ?
Due to my health conditions, the pandemic, and my general lack of a social life... Online interactions are almost all I have.
-
What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities ?
I want to get better at content creation and circus arts.
- How have you been these days ?
Not good lately, but alright today.
@turquoiseHemlock900
Hi !
Sure, the pandemic affected so much social life !
Online opportunities for connection are a blessing !
I wish your health gets better, and your social life more active.
There are plenty of communities on content creation, each specialized in some kind of content.
I have found two communities of Circus artists:
I love Circus! There is a strong Circus movement in my city, with an amazing annual festival that brings groups from all over the world. I also go to Cirque du Soleil and other great circuses performances here every time I can.
What Circus disciplines do you like ? (Acrobatics, Trapeze, Juggling, ground gymnastics,, Clown... ?)
What kind of Content Creation skills will you further develop ?
I am glad that you feel well today after having some bad days...
Thank you for participating in this Check-In !
All the best !
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat
Thanks for the resources! I've done stilt walking, shaker cups, poi, diabolo, hula hoop tricks, devil sticks, etc. in the past. I'm very into spin arts but haven't always found the motivation to practice.
-
How important are online interactions in your life ? They're pretty important. I don't socialize much otherwise. I have started going into the live chats that some of the musicians I like have and some online game sites to play games with other people
-
What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities ? I do share pictures we've taken here of flowers and wildlife sometimes
- How have you been these days ? Some days are ok - other days are not. We keep pretty busy right now with winter not too far off
Thank you for the check in :) How are you?
@WelcomeToChat
How important are online interactions in your life?
Due to introversion, poor health and pandemic issues, I rarely see anyone in person. Online interactions have become my main source of communication.
What hobbies or interests you could further develop through participation in like-minded communities?
I am a scientist, so I tend to like science-related topics. I also like DIY.
How have you been these days?
Okay some days - not so great others.
@WelcomeToChat
made it all go away....not good...safer to make it all go away. go away now
@BlueBirdPIllow
May all the bad things go away !
