Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Saturday October 21st 2017
Apologies for the late check in today.
As we near the end of another week, I wonder what your highs and lows have been?
What do you have planned for this weekend, or are you taking some time for self care?
What do you have to look forward to in the new week?
What would help you to move forward with optimism?
This is your space, safe and supportive, so please contribute if you feel youd like to 🌻
To add or remove a tag, please click --> here
@Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raycascotch @sujaypai @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @ caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Autisaunt14 @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Raveninthelabrynth @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @22charms @blissedNblessed @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPearl1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @LovelyChantel @Compassionatelistener109 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @CaloenasNicobarica @unassumingSummer6023 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Hoxenos @CaloenasNicobarica @FrankieDylan
edited by dancingRainbow45 at listener request to include the word "traumatic" infront of checkin heading :)
@DeborahUK Off to the playground with my daughter in a little bit, then to the pharmacy for a prescription refill. Struggling to deal with the aftereffects of some triggering nightmares, but doing my very best to manage. All my best to everyone this weekend ⛺❤️
@melliotm hope it all goes ok melli. Hugs. Going to find a fort at home.
@inventiveOrange1 So much fun. Now back to reality lol. Which means that it is fort o'clock. ⛺❤️⛺❤️
@melliotm
maybe it doesnt mean anything or maybe you dont want to see me say it. But Im just glad to see you say anything.
Life gets utterly overwhelming, I know. And I think I understand being wiped out, almost completely depleted, from any type of interaction whether positive or negative.
Off to the blanket fort with you :)
Im going to try and see what self care is for me. Try some things.
@themainjane ❤️❤️⛺⛺⛺
@themainjane
What do you have in mind for your self care Jane?
@DeborahUK
:(
@sensitiveShade5337
Ah Shade, thats not a happy face. Whats up buddy?
And please, just choose your words with care. No, Im not telling you off :) But you know Im likely to question if you go down the route of completely pulling yourself apart. What puts a smile on your face to start you off? Lets try a few things 💐🐰🍇🎃🦄🌈☕️🎭🎨💝
@DeborahUK
Im just so sad being here cause generally on my outside life it's kinda better but coming here on 7 cups I feel horrible.. I don't even wanna talk I feel lonely and unwanted... I messed up with things again I hurt another person and I just feel so horrible about it...
Im so sorry
@sensitiveShade5337
Im really sorry you feel lonely and unwanted on this site Shade. From the interactions Ive seen people have with you, Id say youre very much wanted. Its always difficult if you fear you hurt someone, but maybe a simple ‘sorry is all thats needed. Sometimes when youre hurting yourself, you cant contain that pain.
As for 7 cups, if its not right for you then youre free to leave arent you. But I wonder what keeps you here? Is it because you want something more in real life and you dont know how to achieve it? Are you looking for a magic solution but dont know where to find it? I was told the answer to many questions is within ourselves. If its about your feelings, theyre your feelings, not mine. I cant tell you how to feel. Only you can decide that. We can all react to words and situations in many different ways. So do you become upset, defensive, resilient, determined, or something else? Its within your control.
@DeborahUK
i don't feel horrible for the site I feel horrible myself for knowing that I hurt another person that is prob was there to support me.. you don't understand how bad I feel every time this happens and all bc I got angry for not giving the attention I wanted it... yes it's something I don't get out of this site.. I have nobody to talk, nobody to tell my fears, what's bothering me, my feelings imagine how hard that is. This place have been here from the beginning I can't leave this place and of course I'm addicted. Just saying sorry isn't enough and I know that.. hurts even more when you know that that person will never talk to you will never want to see you again..
@sensitiveShade5337
Im so sorry youre hurting Shade. There are many listeners on this site, so maybe try to learn from mistakes you feel youve made as you connect with others. But youre very welcome within these daily check ins, so please dont be alone x
@DeborahUK
At least I'm using my words and talk cause if I wasn't even doing that I would be even more angry..
i don't know
@sensitiveShade5337
💜
I agree, talking it out helps. Helps sort out the unspoken because it
@themainjane
I did the f mistake to put it out on public meaning that I lay out my anger and my frustration on forums and now that person doesn't want to speak to me... and of course they are right but I'm hurting a lot..
I don't even know with who I'm supposed to talk about it and that's why I feel lonely
As we near the end of another week, I wonder what your highs and lows have been? I've been up and down. I cannot get my died ex out of my head and it makes me sad.
What do you have planned for this weekend, or are you taking some time for self care? I'm supposed to go on a date, but I am not sure if I am ready.
What do you have to look forward to in the new week? Working on my notes for book.
What would help you to move forward with optimism? More positive things in my life
@Rebekahwriter13 im so sorry things are playing on your mind. I hope you can take time to have some time for you this weekend too. Sending hugs if ok
@inventiveOrange1 I got stood up 😂
@Rebekahwriter13 aww 🙁. That sucks. I hope it wasnt a misunderstansing. And I hope you can move past it and do something really nice for you. Hugs.
@Rebekahwriter13
Bereavement is so very hard to accept at times, particularly when its someone you felt very close to.
A very dear friend of mine was terminally ill, and I went to see her before heading off on holiday. I knew from how poorly she looked that it was highly likely to be the last time I would ever see her alive, (and it was). It was so very difficult to walk away from her. But she told me to leave all the stuff with her behind, and to enjoy my holiday as I still had a life to live. Ive held onto those words.
Who knows why some people develop illnesses, or have fatal accidents, and are gone before their time? It makes no sense to me. But those of us left behind do still have a life to live, and I know my friend would have hated to think I spent the rest of my life distraught over her death.
You have the opportunity this weekend to go on a date, spend some time with another person, hopefully have a laugh, do an enjoyable activity, have a little fun. It doesnt have to go any further than you feel comfortable with, but youre honouring those who have gone, by living your life to its best. And maybe this will provide some of those more positive experiences you hope for, allowing you to move forward with optimism. I really hope your weekend goes well for you :)
@DeborahUK my ex and I were broken up, but still stood by his side for last 6 weeks of his life.
It was the hardest thing I ever did.
I also go stood up today.
@Rebekahwriter13
Him being an ex doesnt mean you didnt care. You would have shared a lot of closeness with him, so of course it hurts.
Sorry about the non date, but hey, therell be others. I see from your post above it may form part of your book, so could turn out to be just what was needed. Id say its pretty relatable anyway.
@DeborahUK I try to turn things into a positive.
My highs this week have all been related to being able to take care of my daily needs and socialize a little each day. My lows were related to depression that kicked in a few days ago which turned all of my efforts into a struggle.
Weekend plans: today, cleaning and spending time with a friend of mine. Tomorrow, I plan to just take care of myself and relax...watch some tv, read, play some games, and work on my recipe book.
This coming week I look forward to working on my therapy exercises and continuing to work on developing a balanced life.
I think dedicating some time each day to positive affirmations will be my next effort in moving forward with optimism. Trying to retrain my thought patterns to view things more positively.
@TeenyTinyAppy
That black cloud of depression really is a brute isn
@DeborahUK
No, not writing a book but am learning how to cook foods that I am interested in. I am also learning better ways of cooking the things I already know how to make to make them even better. Presently, I am working on gathering recipes for my daughters that might go over well with the grandkids. My oldest just went back to work so my search has been centered on quick, easy, tasty yet cost efficient meals...and some ideas for hiding veggies well enough that they will eat them.
@TeenyTinyAppy
Ah, the joys of hiding veggies from kids. Seems they can always sniff out a carrot! Good luck with that 😉
As we near the end of another week, I wonder what your highs and lows have been?
Highs: It looks like I might be able to get into see a trauma/DID/ED spedicalist :) - and - did not buy sh tools nor have I shed - and I made a new friend IRL and was able to stay mindful and not focus on trauma all the time.
Lows: was taken off the trauma waiting list I was on for almost 6 months bc of the DID - took too many pills to deal with life ( overmedicating), and was in a pysch ward that did nothing to help me at all and then just released me ( did more damage than good).
What do you have planned for this weekend, or are you taking some time for self care?
This weekend ( the rest of it) is a total self care weekend before the week starts with it's hectic daily activities, volounteering, work and finiding out about the therapist ( so scared).
What do you have to look forward to in the new week?
Finding out if my insurance accepts the trauma therapist and if not - where can I go, working, volunteering, and trying to deal with trauma daily stuff without getting lost in it.
What would help you to move forward with optimism?
Focusing on the things going well, trusting the process and staying mindful , also, journaling and mapping but stopping Before I am overwehlemed.
@blissedNblessed
It strikes me what a week youve had of pretty high highs, and pretty low lows! And its great that youre able to recognise quite a lot of positives have happened in a week that also had its less than pleasant moments.
I really do hope this therapy happens for you. From a previous post you made I know that came about largely from your persistence, so I really hope you get a positive outcome. You say it scares you - is that the therapy itself, or fear of not getting the therapy you hope for? I note your goals going forward are to remain focussed and optimistic, which really is an admirable attitude. But also so true - one let down does not spell catastrophe, and if you can stay focussed on your goals and continue to push towards them, you really are taking control of your own future.
@DeborahUK
yes yes yes - i am not letting one no stop me from getting help - i WILL find it,
and what scared me was the forms i had to fill out actually - just so ....omg, how can i even write half of this private stuff on a form:(
like i was writing a grocery shopping list :(
andi guess i dont want to face all the ways trauma has effected my life too like: sh, ptsd, did, ed....
but i am wanting to and ready to work on ALL of this -
so i will do what i need to :)
@blissedNblessed
Good for you! You're not letting anything or anyone get in your way of getting help. You are showing courage and persistence... good strengths to have in dealing with PTSD. I'm proud of you .. x
@rozie
Thank you.
Doesn't mean I will not be CRUSHED in case they say no.
ugh -
but trying to hold onto this.
I
just want to know why I react this way every time and how I can combat it.
@themainjane
I did the dishes! Was overwhelmed and fell asleep while trying to calm my nerves.
But I did go back to it with one of my ‘triggers
@themainjane
Two out of two Jane! Thats a pretty great statistic - 100% 🥇
Combatting triggers is never easy, so do recognise your achievement for what it is.
@DeborahUK
Thank you, Deb. : -)
@themainjane Yes, rest. Give the feelings time to pass. Which they will. That's self compassion -- accepting that certain things beyond your understanding can have a disproportionate effect. Maybe it will make more sense some day why this impacts you the way that it does, but for now you deserve to do what you need to feel comfortable while the unpleasant sensations pass. Deep breathing sounds trite, but it does help to kick in the parasympathetic nervous system after that fight or flight defense mechanism has kicked in. ❤️ the very fact that you've identified a trigger is invaluable insight. ⛺
@melliotm
howd you get so smart? : -)
Ive known it sets me off for quite awhile now. I just dont always verbalize it. And it is true that I try to deny its effect on me.
I dont guess Im very self aware. Not being self aware seems to keep some fear and pain at bay, I guess. Im most always a weird mix of avoidant, self-deprecating, blaming, keyed-upness. Its frazzled and exhausted me. So I need to find a better way.
As we near the end of another week, I wonder what your highs and lows have been? highs have been that ive been able to work all week, done better eating, sleep is been better, was able to get tape for feet/legs so dont have braces anymore for right now. lows have been a couple falls been working on not getting so angry/upset so fast, trying not to beat myself up on my eating troubles when nothing i been able to do to help it just avoid certin foods.
What do you have planned for this weekend, or are you taking some time for self care? painted 2 pumpkins teal for teal pumpkin project that shows that we hand out other things than candy in honor of my lil guy that cant have red 40 but was started for those with food allergys. for self care just going to rest rest rest n rest :)
What do you have to look forward to in the new week? a new week, new adventures, and LOTS of dr appts yuck lol, and short work week
@Autismaunt14
Good for you with self care! rest, rest n rest sounds pretty right. With a working week ahead of you.but a short one. Yay! And yes you've had highs and lows as we do.Highs to celebrate and you're working on the anger and frustration .But really like your optimism as you look to a new week,and adventures.. despite the dr's appointments in the mix..go well. x
@DeborahUK I had a bad week I wish I could move away somewhere else so sick of this place :(
@QueenTangerine
Wishing you a better week coming up. Is moving elsewhere an option? Or would your issues follow you do you think? Moving away doesnt necessarily solve every problem. Are there ways you can face them instead?