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Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Thursday 24th May 2018

User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers May 23rd, 2018

Hi everyone! I'm sorry if this post isn't too well written this is my first post in a few months, things have been hectic lately with a baby on the way. So this post is going to be about opening up to loved ones.

So when I was looking into this I found this really good article on PTSD and you can look at that article here. Here is the part of the article talking abour opening up.

"Lean on Others
People with PTSD often feel disconnected or detached from others, even people that they were once close to. Someone with PTSD may have a difficult time opening up or disclosing information about their experience as a result of feeling ashamed or not wanting to burden another person.

However, it is clear that people with PTSD do better the more social support they have. Therefore, even though it may be difficult to do, it is important to establish supportive relationships with people you trust and who are willing to be there for you."

Opening up is really difficult and so hard to do for many reasons and that's fine if you aren't ready yet then you aren't and no one is forving you to do it right away the point of this is to get people thinking about opening up. Opening up can bring so many positives it can help you so much with healing from trauma having someone (or something, pillows are prime venting to material) you can sit down with and vent your feelings and thoughts, and just let out all of your emotions without any worries.

While researching I found an amazing story I'd love to share with all of you:

Beth's story (Procede with caution may be triggering): https://themighty.com/2017/03/communicating-trauma-ptsd/

So this just about ends my post for this post it's amazing to be back and I've missed doing these checkins so much. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the extract and on the story if you read it.

Remember this is a judgement free zone and I love each and everyone of you, *HUGE KASS HUGS FOR ALL*

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User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 23rd, 2018

Not Wednesday, THURSDAY sorry I'm so tired and my head is fried

9 replies
User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 May 23rd, 2018

@Softwhispers haha happens to the best of us Soft, changed to Thursday for you :)

1 reply
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 23rd, 2018

@Rain45 Thank youuu!!!!

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User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 May 24th, 2018

@Softwhispers

how can the head be fried? cheeky hehe I like that phrase

6 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@sensitiveShade5337 it's a very Uk phrase you hardly hear it anywhere else even some parts of the UK it's not existant lol

5 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 May 24th, 2018

@Softwhispers

i will start using that phrase for sure hehe

4 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@sensitiveShade5337 lets start a revolution! XD

3 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 May 24th, 2018

@Softwhispers

lol I will combine UK, US and Australian phrases and all these in a Greek weird accent 😂

2 replies
User Profile: rozie
rozie May 25th, 2018

@sensitiveShade5337

Would love to hear this Shade!

1 reply
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 May 25th, 2018

@rozie

lol rozie that would be funny

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User Profile: anonyCar9078
anonyCar9078 May 24th, 2018

@Softwhispers Thanks for sharing this, and that link. It's funny, I actually got on here today to ask for help opening up. It's one of the things I struggle with the most and that has the most negative impact on my relationship with my boyfriend. Sometimes I have these moments where I think I can do it and I plan it out and then when the time comes I just can't, I feel like the words physically can't leave my body. I'm the same way with my therapist. And if anyone ever asks me anything personal I get so weird. It's hard for me to reveal even little things because I'm always worried it will lead to more questions. I make people so uncomfortable because I'm so awkward, so I try to just avoid people all together. It sucks and it's something I'm actively trying to work on.

1 reply
User Profile: rozie
rozie May 24th, 2018

@anonyCar9078

So glad that this is timely for you.Its an area that many of us struggle with. I know how it is to prepare what to say and then be unable to get the words out.Its about finding your voice and that isn't easy. So to start with little things with someone you feel safe with can help and where you are likely to have success. And little by little you then find that you do have a voice, and others listen to you. Be encouraged .. keep on trying.. it will take time but you can get there. x

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May 24th, 2018

we always used to get told by one person online talking to us is like trying to pull teeth sadthats who wwe were most open with cept they hurt us and tryng not to talk to them now. stuffs happenign that they are the only one who would get becaus they know the history and its hard not going back to them. now we aaer trying to share with safer people but its hard sometimes we used to think he was safe sad

5 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@Sparky1 I know some people we trust turn out to be people we didn't think they were and it does leave a bitter taste in your mouth but not everyone is like that especially here on 7cups with so many amazing listeners yeah there might be one or two who might not be what your looking for but there will be many who are what your looking just don't shut off from the world because of one bad experience hun I know it feels awful but trust me it doesn't mean it's over

2 replies
May 24th, 2018

@Softwhispers thanks. It's been lots of bad experiences, the person saying about teeth we know him online nearly half our lives so hard untangling then and why we want to talk to him with stuff that only he ever knows. Sharing is hard

1 reply
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@Sparky1 I know it is hun but like I said it isn't impossible for you to open up to other people and explain all you want and if there's something you don't want to go into then you don't have to

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User Profile: rozie
rozie May 24th, 2018

@Sparky1

Yes I agree Spary, its hard when you have known someone for a long time, and when you have shared with them. And then find that its not so good for you or safe. So I think you are wise to untangle yourself from this, and I'm glad you have safe people to go to. I guess you can either stop the contact all together, or graduallly have less and less as you move on iin your life.Do you think its about boundaries too, and that the limits you set are to be repected.Good for you in becoming aware that this is not good for you..awareness is the beginning of change.. x

1 reply
May 24th, 2018

@rozie safe people are good but what if people like him is what we deserve?. trying to say boundaries is when He went crazy mad

is that our voice then? When we tried saying boundaries. then we are selfish shellfish

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User Profile: calmLake1999
calmLake1999 May 24th, 2018

My trust in people is broken again, I'm scared to lean on people but wanting to as well.. I'd become better at reaching out but now I just want to retreat and hide in my bed where it's semi safe, I don't know how to feel safe again or how to let myself trust when I get hurt 😞

2 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@calmLake1999 we are all here to support you hun you always will have people here ready to support you and people your able to lean on

User Profile: courteousNorth5140
courteousNorth5140 May 24th, 2018

@calmLake1999

It's good to see you Calm... Sending you some safe hugs 💕💖

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User Profile: AveryLove
AveryLove May 24th, 2018

Heya!

Yeah opening up is often really difficult for me : its something i ve really struggeled with the past days. frown

But i feel like opening up in a relationship/friendship helps the other person a lot to understand emotions and actions better. I understand it can be very scary to open up because we fear getting judged or feel ashamed. It happened to me before that i opened up and recieved judgement, but i took all my courage to open up once again and it was so worth it and now i am recieving support and love everyday from that personheart

Wishing everyone a lovely day and take care!

@Softwhispers

sometimes wonder do I too much go safe road...

2 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@conscientiousPineapple1782 letting out minds wander can be a dangerous thing sometimes but when we have someone there and we are just letting our mind wander and just saying everything you think it really does take a load of

User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP May 24th, 2018

@conscientiousPineapple1782 I'm sorry I mis read God I'm too tired today I'm so sorry and yes it's good to stay within your comfort levels but sometimes even pushing just outside your comfort zone can be the best thing ever and can help you make so much progress

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User Profile: Moonberrycat
Moonberrycat May 24th, 2018

mmmm nothing like bawling your eyes out on a thursday afternoon and exasperating all the symptoms that's making you cry in the first place

i am not in a good place, y'all. i am utterly exhausted with the life i'm living. wish i could just like....flip a switch or something and get a new start. a new body, personality, etc. just start fresh again.

3 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 May 24th, 2018

@Moonberrycat

Will this BIG HUG help you???? And also this soft blanket to get wrapped in?!! And here is a super teddy to hug to!!!! Now go ahead and cry!!!! It's okay!! I'm sorry you're feeling how you are. I wish I could make it all better. I will pray for you!! Just remember you're not alone. And you're awesome-crying doesn't make you less awesome! ❤️🤗

2 replies
User Profile: Moonberrycat
Moonberrycat May 24th, 2018

@KLM3278

thank you, hon!! i really appreciate the hug and you reaching out 💕💕

1 reply
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User Profile: FloweringBunny
FloweringBunny May 24th, 2018

I struggle to open up to people so much. And I struggle becoming close to people, I tend to keep people at arms length at the moment.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed today. Even making a cup of tea seems like too big a task. I've still done some things that I needed to do but I just feel so drained. My brain is shutting itself off and refusing to do work, it's like I have reached max capacity and now is not a good time because I have an exam tomorrow afternoon. One nice thing today is that I bought bubbles at the supermarket and I blew them on my walk home, which made me feel a little better :)

Love and hugs heart

2 replies
User Profile: rozie
rozie May 25th, 2018

@FloweringBunny

Oh so glad you bought the bubbles and they made you feel a little better.!When its tough and you're feeling drained and its heavy going I think a little lightness like this can help.

Agree it can be a struggle to let others close, and its only little by little that we can let someone in. Beginning with someone who is safe and only as we feel ready to do this. Love and hugs to you too. x

User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 May 25th, 2018

@FloweringBunny

Oh I love blowing bubbles!!! That sounds like a great way to let some of the things overwhelming you literally float away & POP! They're gone! ❤️😃 I hope you have a relaxing night! HUG!!!!

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