Traumatic Experiences Community Daily CheckIn - Thursday the 8th of June 2017
L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F-D-A-Y
Most people would agree that self-love is essential for happiness. But what does that really mean?
The problem with these well-advised words is that often the receiver has no idea how to give self-love. The advise love yourself has become as cliché as Just say no to drugs. How do you love yourself? I have pondered this question my whole life; for myself, for my loved ones and friends. What I came to realize is that it can be more beneficial to examine the ways we, unknowingly, arent loving ourselves, rather than trying hard to conjure up love for our self.
So whats the answer? The key to loving yourself truly is to give yourself that which uplifts you, not just for the moment, but long term. What is it that you really want? The key to answering that question is to go past the clamoring desires of your ego and personality, which are never going to be satisfied. Instead, the secret to your ultimate happiness is to travel to your soul. Your ego personality is always going to want more. As soon as you give it the donut, it wants the chocolate. When you buy it the shoes, it begs for boots. Sadly, the ego always just wants the next thing.
Some Things You Can Love About You:
Your sense of humor
Your laugh
Your ability to make others laugh when they need it
Your intuition
Your willingness to challenge yourself
Your understanding of what makes you feel happiest
Your taste in movies
Your taste in books
Your taste in clothes
The way you don't care about clothes
The way you hug people
Your eye for design
Your organizational skills
Your quiet intensity
Your loud boisterous demeanor
Your facial expression quirks
Your voice
The way you cry about things that are important to you
Your special relationship with your friends
Your special relationship with fictional characters
Your ability to smile even when things get hard
The twinkle in your eye when you get excited about something
The chaos that is your living space seeming to be perfectly adapted to your lifestyle
Your ability to bounce back from that really hard thing you had to deal with
Your thoughts on literature
Your thoughts on politics
Your thoughts on culture
Your thoughts
Your causes and charities and the way you contribute to them
Your deep contemplations that never seem to fully work themselves out
The way you wring your hands when you're nervous
The way you babble when you're tired
The way you would defend your best friend against an army with a spoon if it came down to it
The hobby that you care about and how much you love it
The way you changed someone's life (and you did)
That time you gave someone a second chance they didn't deserve because sometimes that's what they really need
The way you spend hours reading
The things you doodle
The way you say "no" when you need to
The way you work to become a better person
Your honesty
Your compassion
Your bravery
Your generosity
Your curiosity
Your open mind
Your ability to care for houseplants
The way you cook
The fact that you recycle
The way you tip well
I so do understand how to love you may be very hard. But go through the list and at least check off 3. Also share some things on here that you love about you or love doing. Get creative, share pictures or poems or short stories..Any cause I have a love for each one of you cause you are you and special and worth my time
IRUMPLE!!!!!!!
@Avaray @vriska44 @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @sujaypai
@sweetMelody95 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @themainjane @raycascotch
@KatieMoon1 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @Tamba @inventiveOrange1 @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana
@AutumnLeigh @DeborahUK @PuppyLove13 @KristenHR @BradyChay2310 @HearingYourHeart @vriska @TreesandWine
@guyb @chayil @Sharkradio @MKjart @AnnaKateMillerLCSW @Tamba @Celestialvoid @WaterLily16 @TheAsh @MKJart @Asiam1971 @philosophicalship9444 @Chayil @rumplesteeleskin
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Hi everyone
ok I;ll start this off. And I'm not gonna lie showing myself love or anything nice is hard for me. So I'll be brave here
1. I my humor
2. I that I have a warm-caring heart for others
3. Ithat I am creative
4. Ithat I like animals
5. Imy job
6. Imy hair
7. Imy boat shaped feet-lol
8.Imy laugh
@RumpleSteeleSkin this is fantastical Rumple! Thank you for doing it <3
Alright..I'm going to give this a try..
I <3 my creativity
I <3 my weirdness
I <3 my lgbtq+ pride
I <3 my nerdyness
I <3 my ability to help others
I <3 my singing voice..
^_^
@PhoenixPatronus
Awesomesauce Look at all that love for and about you. And hey Im weird too!! Great job!!
@RumpleSteeleSkin Thank ye kindly :3 <3 Whoo! Weirdness for the win!! ^w^
@PhoenixPatronus
HAHAHAHA ur silly Weirdos will rule da world
@RumpleSteeleSkin aha,.mad as the Hatter *bows* yes we shall! XD
@RumpleSteeleSkin - you got that right! love all those things and more about ya!
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
aawww Krink thank you! Now try it yourself now......
@RumpleSteeleSkin - things I love about myself:
- my sense of humor
- my kindess and generosity
- my skills as a designer and internet geek
- my goofy ukulele playing
- my feminine traits
- my masculinity
- my eyes
- they way I act silly
- my willingness to help people whenever I can
- my modesty (hee hee)
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
Krink those are all wonderful things to love about you.
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Love this way of looking at self love .thanks Rumple..... like giving us some keys to unlock what we often have trouble in seeing then expressing.
For me..
1.love animals, and especially the three dogs who share my life.
2. love the variety in nature and in people
3. the insight I often have
4.how i push my hair behind my ear when nervous.
5. that I care and
6.am compassionate.
@rozie
Thank you for sharing. Wonderful things you shared on loving you. Lol I do the hair behind my ear to
@RumpleSteeleSkin thank you for this
I love how people come together when they are different yet find common ground to share.
I love how people can gather for a mindfulness session and have no idea what mindfulness is and come away with an aha moment that they think could change their approach to life.
I love when people post things that challenge me to look inside and feel gratitude.
@soulsings
Soul thank you for sharing, those are all great things about you! Yes I too love how many come together not know much about each other and then have thst aha or take away something inspiring for them
@RumpleSteeleSkin
I try more think how would loved one wish me to have proper life... idk found it difficult to love myself.
@conscientiousPineapple1782
Pineapple I do understand how difficult it is to love YOU. We can give it out plenty to others-but well....none to us. Don't judge yourself or feel bad. It is something that yes you can work on. Keep giving out love and kindness, but maybe try daily to do 1 very small thing for you. Or to say 1 positive thing you love or like about you. It will come....
@RumpleSteeleSkin
thank you
I need to talk to someone today. I keep waking up in a dissociative haze, one time I was driving, and I don't know why. I'm all buggered up. Blargh!!!
I don't even know what the post was about. Sorry. Think I missed the point.... :/
@KatieMoon1
Katie hi I am glad you stopped in. I am really sorry that you were disassociated a bit. That really can be hard to handle at times, and while driving. I do hope that you find a good listener who is skilled with this. You can look up listeners here and even by topic. Good luck 7cups.com/BrowseListeners
I like my eyes.
I like my humor.
I like the way my pets respond to my voice.
@themainjane
Hi Jave-those are awesome things to like about you!!!!
wonderful!!!
Wonderful!!!!!
I guess this is the daily check-in for Thursday?
Awoke feeling sad and sorta introspective. Think I'll do the dishes early today.
Some days I am perfectly fine in my own bubble. Other days the isolation gets to me.
I don't know if I should be grateful I have this place and all of you, plus a spouse and counselor etc. or ashamed and sad that I talk to so few irl. I guess I'm both.
I should probably try to go outside today. Some days it doesn't bother me. Seeing as how it's bothering me I will try to push myself in that direction.
Shadows are falling and I been here all day
It's too hot to sleep and time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't let me heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well my sense of humanity is going down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writin' what was in her mind
I just don't see why I should even care
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Well I been to London and I been to gay Paree
I followed the river and I got to the sea
I've been down to the bottom of a whirlpool of lies
I ain't lookin' for nothin' in anyone's eyes
Sometimes my burden is more than I can bear
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
I was born here and I'll die here, against my will
I know it looks like I'm movin' but I'm standin' still
Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don't even hear the murmur of a prayer
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there
Written by Bob Dylan • Copyright Bob Dylan Music Co.
@themainjane
Hope you get outside today!
@rozie
Thank you. :)
Perhaps I shouldn't have posted the Dylan song. Although it does represent facets of my thought process - and others, I'm sure, as well - it isn't the only story or the full story.
Not feeling it today but I do care and I'm not down for the count.
None of us are. ❤
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Seems like resting at home and missing out on that awesome thing yesterday was a smart idea, because I've almost been feeling healthy again today. Been feeling fine I guess and productive. Oh and...
that I care
my mind and its ideas when it's not in trauma mode
my ability to learn new things
that I laugh, cry, dance, hug, love like I mean it
how much I can enjoy simple things, or well mostly I COULD but seems like I'm getting there again
@hereigoagain
Wonderfully done Here
Here's a song for anyone feeling humorous (which may be few, but I find sometimes we gotta laugh)
Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good
... it just reminds me of better times and a trip to the beach
In all seriousness, I'm royally screwed because I splurged on some groceries and we were supposed to have; pork chops, asparagus bearnaise, and rosemary potatoes but I fear it's late and I'm drunk. :(
He's not home yet but he's going to be disappointed.
Dinner was supposed to be "on fleek" - am I using that right? 😀
Now I'm afraid it's gonna be pizza rolls.
@themainjane
Mmm, can't say I've ever had a pizza roll, but it sounds kinda tasty 😋
He'll still have you for company, and that's what matters surely?
@DeborahUK
It's summertime and he is working 12-14 hr days regularly. He had a 17.5hr day recently. I'm sh*t for a wife.
And no, they aren't that tasty. 🙂 You are not missing out.
@themainjane
Well, you might know I'm inclined to disagree with that. Look, you feel bad about your inaction about some things, but every day I see you trying to muster yourself and push yourself. Do you share that with him too?
I do understand the guilt you may feel if you believe you're not contributing as you feel you should. But it doesn't mean you're right to feel that way. You've not given up, your intentions are positive, and you appreciate that your husband is working hard. But you're working hard too, this battle you fight every day, and you are fighting it. Do try not to feel like the lesser person, because you're very far from it.
@DeborahUK
Thank you for this. But the truth is if anyone deserves to be "traumatized," it's him.
Instead he has always persevered. Yes, with his fault but he doesn't give in like I do.
He wasn't mad that the nice dinner wasn't cooked. (He'd rather have his drinking buddy). It's a struggle we have somewhat in common.