Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Friday September 28th
Happy Friday Trauma Community!
I'm proud of you for making it through another week. If this has been an extra difficult week for you, let us know if you need extra support today.
I want to keep today's check-in simple.
How are you feeling? Let us know how you're feeling on a scale 1-10, share your color that you're feeling, or simply tell us what's going on.
If you need a hug today, it's Free Hugs Friday! Share a hug with anyone who wants one here in this thread or look out for the Free Hugs Room today.
@InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @tenacity37 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007
@Kate
hello kate i hope your okay and doing okay? if not *Hugs* if its okay and take the hugs if you want if you just want them ...
honestly im kinda extremely depressed and suicidal ill tell you what my week consiisted of and you know some of it but i want to share hope you dont mind love.....
im kinda awful life sucks im having to see my dad fall apart so much and he is sick... he said hope im going to die while helping you its going to take me to the grave i kinda cried ... i have been thinking these last 2 days before im 17 to kms or try because after i will get arrested for attempting... then my mom and dad know i am cutting again she found out yesterday and so did my dad... my dad said your almost 17 you need to be over this and i just teared up because im not and he said do you want to go back to that hospital for your whole life i said no but i just cried ... and this was at 7 am .... i just feel empty you know i am always so hard on myself and i wish i wasnt but i am i talked to my biological mom i cried because i made her cry ... i dont know if ill ever forgive her ... my ex girlfriend my very first girlfriend said yesterday when she found me after years to tell me i was so scared you died last time i saw you you were on the floor bleeding and and cutting in the bathroom crying ... i said yes and she said i have tried now and im cutting i went to the hospital 3 times now and i was raped by your ex and my ex and i cried because i didnt realize she cared so much i didnt know she said she wrote me 10 letters while i was gone i just sat and cried ... on wednesday everything hit the fan with my feelings and i nearly went to the hospital for withdraws i was scared to di*e .. i always said if im going to die i will take my own not anyone or anything... i didnt really want to go to the hospital at first because i had cuts and they would ask and i cant lie about it .. i think i seriously f**ked up my heart because it skips beats and races and it isnt normal now i need an ekg because it all started when i stopped eating and nearly passed out ... that was what is what like wednesday my heart was pounding so hard i could see it in my hands... i feel awful im always tired now and im trying to keep my grades up but it isnt working it is but im dying from it tbh im dying from my mind im losing resources and people and i had sex with a 20 year old i thought id feel loved but i didnt i wanted to say no but i couldnt,... i just cried right after. its statuary rape for him if the cops find out and i i swore not to tell but i dont know i just cant even and now i have a boyfriend since yesterday and he is extremely sweet i dont deserve him ... the other day when i didnt sleep i was so desperate to feel better i read the bible because it worked for others
but its my week since last weekend but the good thing is i think im going to start my period and if so im so happy ... my birthday is sunday and its difficult because i remember tomorrow will be lasy year my mom punched my the day before my birthdsy for being messed up in the head ... but i feel bad the only good thing is i have the little kids i have this weekend...
@Hope7879 - It sounds like there's a lot going on right now and that it's feeling really overwhelming. Before responding to anything within that, I want to start by just checking in and asking - are you safe right now? What do you need to make sure you stay safe today and through this weekend as a starting point? It's okay to ask for help or to tell people you need them right now to help you through and it's okay to need to take things day by day or hour by hour or even minute by minute. What's important right now is you and your safety.
My arms are open if you would like a hug, and I'm here if you need someone to sit near for a bit.
@Anomalia
im safe i guess just im kinda numb and always tired now... i feel pretty depressed ...i will be with some people i love so i will tell them they are the people that mean way more to me then some people.. but im just pretty anxious recently
@Anomalia
That was a really lovely post ...
#Respect
Today I am feeling that there are users in the community who are trying to keep us looking at the past. Today I say if we continue looking back at the past, we will never be able to move forward into the future.
@incompl
I understand that but I also think we need to look at the past. There are good things we can take and use from it. I think we can take those things to help move us forward.
@incompl
I agree, we can take from the past the good but still be open to new things now and in the future. It's a healthier balance I believe 
Ideas for future check-ins are very welcome. Please share your ideas here!
As a reminder, those who have been helping with check-ins are trying their very best and have been working hard to make sure that there is a check-in thread posted every day and responded to.
@Kate
I appreciate everyone's hard work and volunteering. I apologize if my post was hurtful to anyone. I was just talking about finding a balance. Thank you for posting the link for the check ins ideas.
Just to give a heads up, every listener or member account team member is a volunteer. Everything we do on 7cups is because of a passion to help other people. There's no set manuals and we all learn as we go. Communities are stronger together when we build each other up instead of tear each other down. Not every post is greatness but at least that person tried. Attacking volunteers for their efforts makes volunteers less likely to help out and keep volunteering. No one is an expert. Some leaders are teens trying their best. And every volunteer starts off at a different place in their skills. Even team listener leaders and members have personal life challenges so some food for thought, everyone behind the screen is fighting their own personal battle. 7cups is supposed to be a judgement free zone and a safe space. It makes me upset to see hurtful comments because the whole site loses and suffers
@summertimeSamness
I appreciate you Samness 
For who you are but also for the time and effort you give us too
@LifeIsMyCanvas
Appreciate you too!
I'm technically not on the team because I know I can't commit a large amount of time because I am the cml / community teen star leader of the Teen Self Esteem & Body Image subcom. But I have personal trauma and I saw a need in the trauma community to help volunteer my time when I can. When I first started as a listener 2 years ago I had no active listening skills but I'm glad I found a group of welcoming experienced listeners who mentored me. If we kicked out everyone because they sucked like I did when I first got started, I never could have grown into the listener I am today. I still grow every day and make mistakes the difference is now I learn from them and improve my skills. When listeners or members post check-ins it's very scary for them too. They think omg what if no one likes my post just like community members worry omg what if my post is weird or I get no replies. Everyone is on the same team and everyone wants to do the same goal - to help people! So it's just better to give private personal constructive feedback and work with people to mentor them so that they are empowered to keep helping this community
@summertimeSamness
"Technically" a part of the team or not, I truly appreciate you. I appreciate everyone who has been posting check-ins and replying to people and sharing ideas. Whether on the team or another member. Nobody has to do it. Yet people are taking the time to come here and trying to support us they best they know how. That's pretty special and not something you find just anywhere. So, when I say thank you I really mean it.
@practicalIdeal2007
Thanks, that means alot to me because I really like helping people. I have really enjoyed tagging with you in posts and wish I could pm lots of you to offer extra support but hopefully when I age up I can!
Probably when I age up in March, I might think about joining the trauma team. I like posting in the community. I learned alot about myself and my trauma from reading everyone's posts. I think it's a really awesome community that shows lots of strength and dedication to helping people. I didn't think I could participate in here before because I couldn't even say the sentence "I have past trauma" but now I can have courage to even post that sentence in a thread because I saw lots of courage from people here.
I think that if everyone works together and uses everyone's unique skills then trauma team & community becomes a super team. The teen self-esteem & body image subcom I started in June. I started it with Kate and Zammn and we had no team. It was the hardest thing I ever did on 7cups. But I reached out to lots of new listeners and mentored them how the roles work. The tsebi team is small but powerful. I hope to help reach out to get more teens involved in the trauma community too
I'm just really glad that when I was a new listener people didn't give up on me and they helped me build my skills so I try to give that back by helping empower new leaders
How are you feeling? Let us know how you're feeling on a scale 1-10, share your color that you're feeling, or simply tell us what's going on.
Today is a 6 and feeling color is strawberry red, because my errand went well and it's sweet day.
@Rebekahwriter13 A strawberry red sounds nice! Glad today went well!
@Kate I'm not sure if this is the place to post it, but with the Kavanaugh hearings it's been difficult this week. I was never actually sexually abused, so I'm really confused about my emotions. I was sexually harassed by my uncle when I was around 13 or 14. He kept messaging me and sending me sexual texts, and then when I would see him he would stare at me and follow me around. In my memories, I swear he followed me down to the basement and just stared at me, but when I went to look back in my journals I couldn't find anything about it, so I don't know if I made that part up, but I know the rest wasn't made up. I had first shown my parents the text where he said "do you want to be my secret girlfriend," and they didn't take it seriously at all until two years later when I showed them the rest of it again. It really hurt to know that my parents weren't there to protect me; it seemed like they were okay with it. And then this weekend with the Kavanaugh hearing it brought that up, and I had that conversation with them again, and I just feel emotionally drained and mentally exhausted.
But I don't know why. I was never sexually abused, and in comparison it shouldn't have been that big of a deal. This happened so many years ago, so why am I still getting so upset over this? Am I just overreacting? Am I for some reason just trying to play the victim? I'm so confused. He didn't even do anything to me which is the confusing part.
So yeah. I'm feeling like a 3 this week. I'm feeling like dark blue.
@turquoiseClementine1750
Hey there! Thank you for sharing this with us. I understand you're feeling triggered having to hear something that brings back as many memories to you! It sounds like you were very scared at that time and it's truly sad that your parents couldn't be there for you. You were very young and it does sound like you needed them. So even if it happened some time ago it makes sense that you're having that kind of feelings again! You're not wrong or overreacting at all - problems can't be lineally compared with other person's, as there's no way to weigh your pain. Please know we're here for you at any time!
@Kate
Hi Kate thanks for supporting this community and writing the check in today
Also thank you to all those that are supporting
I didn't accomplish much of what I set out to do in the beginning of this week and really underperformed and neglected a lot of the stuff I usually forced myself to do or didn't allow myself to not do. I essentially didn't care about the things that kept me going before, and yesterday it seems like I reached the most bottom of my moods that I've ever felt, or I was cognizant that I was extremely down for the first time. Usually the fears or urges needing something to be done or to not disappoint would counter that...but at least something still kept me going I guess.
On reflection, it seems like I was prioritizing more self care in terms of sleep this week.
I'm not sure if I'm able to pick a number or a color so maybe I'll use the weather to describe. This morning I woke up feeling up like rainbows and unicorns, then as the day progressed and I needed to come back to reality things turn gray and cloudy with some lightning. I only got my day started with only a few hours to salvage. Now that it's almost the start of the next day and I did end up accomplishing two things I needed to do, I feel amazing like nothing can stop me but also because I'm back home and safe again. And because the bus lady was very nice. Might end up indulging in food again though
Hope everyone had a nice day ^^ This weekend will be a special weekend ^^
@Kate
I'm feeling like a 2 and color is datk gray.
