Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 16th August 2018
Hello lovely trauma family
So good to be here with you! Its only a day or so ago that we were all reeling from the news that once again many of our leadership team had gone.. there was no preparation for this, so like with any sudden loss tthere was shock..felt this when I came to wirte a reply here and had no words. We had already weathered some stormy times and now again we were thrown into a sea of uncertainty and hurt. To lose part of our family, people we have grown to love and trust, and our leader too, is so scary.. and especially for trauma survivors. And that it was imposed on us, and there didn't seem to be any contingency plans was alarming This was our safe place.. it wasn't feeling so safe now.
Yet there was an amazing response coming through in the check ins. As we expressed our hurt, anger and disbelief, our appreciation for all the support we have known here, our love and caring for each other, and our determination to pull together, there was warmth and comfort. And a sense of the strong bonds that bind us together, that will sustain us through this. We 're not sure how,. and that's ok for now. The team who are here want to reassure you that we are doing our best and are working with you and for you.
I found this poem by Rachel in www.hellopoetry.com .. it reminds us that after a storm comes calm,..
Calm After theStorm.
I am tired. I am worn
For this is the calm after the storm.
Heartbeat ceases to race
Everything seems to fall into place.
Take comfort in cycles and patterns
Separate the insignificant from what matters
History repeats itself they say
The Universe works in a funny way.
So push through thoughts of growing older
Of growing colder, of forgetting to be bolder
To the back of my mind
Shelved there somewhere diffcult to find.
And think instead of stories that turn out okay
Think of the sounds of waves and rainy days.
For I am slowly breathing
Almost sleeping
Nearly dreaming
Simply being.
"Youu can't calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass."
How is your day going? How are you doing? Have you taken some time to simply be, to sit in the sun, to read a book, to watch a funny movie, to listen to your favourite music.. nows a good time for this.(i'm currently being entertained by quotes and pictures of my favourite bear!) Or pop in to say hi! You're welcome here. This is your space and a safe place. With love from rozie. x
I'm back from the surgery. I'm so tired but also so so so glad it's all over. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your on-going support and prayers. I could NOT have done this without you all. Thank you!!!!! It was a very very hard day but the nurses and doctor were so kind. It's hard to explain everything but having done this, I can promise each of you who are scared to do this to, that the surgery procedure I had is WAY BETTER than the times I tried at the regular appointments. Why? Because you are asleep!!!!!!!! I was more anxious and nervous ... but then I was asleep and I woke up and it was all over. I'm real sleepy now but at SO much more calmness then when I failed at the appointments. Any way, thank you all SO much ❤️
@KLM3278 I am so glad to hear it went well. Hope you can sleep some more and rest well.
Great job K! 💖
@nolongerafraid
Thank you: I'm so tired. Thank you 🐻❤️
@KLM3278
So pleased to hear this my dear, and thank you for letting us know. You've done so well to get through this, and now you deserve lots of rest and recovery time. x
@rozie
Thank you so much. Very tired but ok 🐻❤️
@KLM3278
This is just the post I was looking for!!! So glad to see everything went well KLM!!! 😄💜
@BeeLeigh
HUG ❤️🐻
@KLM3278
So lovely to hear it went okay for you, its over, its done.
Wow, Im in awe of you facing those fears. Thats a huge thing you just achieved. Be proud, be well, youre loved.
@DeborahUK
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️🐻❤️
@KLM3278
Im so glad it vent well and that its all over 
And its good to hear you are doing all right, you are one though coockie
Safe hugs if you want
@KLM3278, WOO-HOO!
@NoDragon
Yes. I did it! ❤️ Thank you!
@KLM3278 very glad it went ok KLM. Proud of you for going. Safe hugs
@inventiveOrange1
Thank you for the safe hug!!! Thank you ❤️🐻
The start of this week was pretty bad, I wasn't expecting my trauma to trigger such a extreme response of deep sorrow inside of me. On Monday, I was bombarded with memories and negative thoughts of a conflict that I had with two people that ended up in assault. It happened three years ago, but my healing is still an onging procress. I was experiening feelings of anger towards the injustice I experienced and then deep sorrow. I really couldn't see beyond those emotions in that moment, I felt like I was drowning and I really wanted to give up. Too be honest, what kept me going was my faith and writing all my thoughts on paper and allowing myself to just release the emotions. Also it helps to have a friend or family member to let them know that you need help, you need someone to listen to, and someone to remind you that the deep emotions you feel (the pain, the anger, the injustice), is not the end of you. Afterwards I felt embarrassed about the way I felt, I felt weak, but I decide to forgive myelf and begin again.
Need to sleep but its just not happening. Too many thoughts tonight.
@RedHawk6547 - I hear you there, RedHawk! It is 2mins before 2am here right now. I'm guessing my night meds will kick in here pretty soon .... and thankfully I do not have to be anywhere early in the morning! I hope you get some restful sleep, Red. Or at least some good rest time. Take good care! Platy
@rozie
Hello Rozie,
I think I had trouble identifying the storms and the calms in my past, and just accepted things as how they should be. I'm starting to recognize what is positive and what is negative for me though. The courage and positivity that has been shown in this community, and seeing a specialist, definitely is helping.
@humorousBeing8966
❤️❤️❤️
I'm gonna make a list of things that calm me down:
Rain
Honey scented things
Hand woven blankets and hats and stuff
My mom laughing
My sister laughing
Brownies
New books
Replicas of old towns and stuff
Jazz music
My friends laughing
Soft cats
Cats purring
Dogs sitting down with their weird legs
Dogs licking your face
Paint on your hands
Snow or rain on your eyelashes and hair
Halloween kid movies
My elemtary school library
Winter holiday music
Tire swing
Branch swing
Doing flips on bars or hoops
Climbing
Tree house
Muddy creek or lake
Old jeans
Horse neighing
Us all holding candles and singing at service
Rey from star wars beating the crap out of kylo Ren
Oscar Isaac
Disco music
Wet or humid hair curling
Shampoo
Fuzzy socks
Yellow flowers
Open fields
Looking out above a woods or area from the highest point
Haystacks and silos and bird houses
Kids having fun
Kids being proud of discovering something