Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 21st September 2017
Good morning to you all!
Seems like we can well continue on from yesterday.. and SaltyDog's great post. Here are some random selections from what was said. From Avary. ."..we are all so different.But that doesn't matter -we love and support each other in some way." And SensitiveShade saying: "So thank you everyone for being here and part of this fam,each one of you present something beautiful in here, each one of you have something special." And then Mellio with pictorial expressiveness, and KatieMoon in response. "That totally makes me giggle out loud." And Raine saying: "You have courage and strength in abundance, and my life is richer from knowing you all." From Debs: "Every person within this community adds to the network of support it provides- whether members or listeners,you all matter, you all make a diifference."
This is simply a small part of what was said as you will know, and all the parts add up to the whole which is a community.And each one of us is a part of this community.We are the Trauma Community and this is the element that binds us together. But community also gives us a sense of belonging, of connectedness,and saves us from isolation and alienation. Community is rich in respources and collectively we can support each other. As we find, our community is a safe place, a place to call home. A place where there is love and healing,where we can laugh and cry, and where we can grow with others. Let's celebrate the gift that is community!
How is your day going? What is important to you in being part of a community? In what other ways could this community provide support?and any reflections? Love to hear form you. This is your space and a safe place. x
@rozie
BubblegumPuppy68
doing fine
@bubblegumPuppy68
Good to hear this! x
@rozie
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@rozie I'm new to the community in the last few days but what I've seen so far I really like it. There's so much information and support. Everyone here should be proud of the work they do everyday to contribute and stay connected.
I would love to one day help run some of the sessions that we do, I think those are a really great opportunity to connect, learn, and support.
I personally have been having a weird couple of weeks. Feel a little like I'm slipping on a hill and everytime I try to grab hold or grip something a rock comes loose and woosh there I go. I'm using all of my tools and I'm staying afloat (and that flashy word FUNCTIONAL) but I guess I'm being critical of myself because I want to be able to handle MORE right now and I can't figure out why it's so hard at the moment. For now I'll keep battling on to stop from sinking lower because I guess I have to remember sometimes that's a victory in and of itself, even if it's very frustrating.
@Hoxenos Welcome :)
@Hoxenos
Yes a warm welcome to you.. we're glad you've joined us here! x
Hi everyone,
Today is a good day. The weather is beautiful and I am feeling much better. I think that I will just sit with those thoughts for a while.
The community is very supportive and I love being a part of it. There seem to be several initiatives in place to ensure that it remains a safe place for everyone. I can't think of anything to add at the moment.
The fall scares me. Historically I have slid into a consuming depression this time of year. Am I just feeling the memories from past years? I'm having feelings and thoughts that would make me think that I'm headed for another winter depression.
I just don't know but I fear it. Surely, I don't want to go there. Things should be good. Not this, not now.
My breathing is messed up and I don't feel fully real. It's like the air evaporates from my throats and doesn't reach my lungs. But I'm breathing, of course. Think I'll practice this self-imposed semi-catatonia. It's the only thing keeping me calm. To move as little as possible, only this typing and the occasional turn of my head. Only thing keeping me safe. But safe from what?
I embarrass myself with all these words, this display of what? Histrionics?
I'm not well. Not feeling well. Wish someone could help me but I don't think there's help.
@themainjane
Hi,
I am sorry it took me a while to respond. As I read your post, I found it touching that you were reaching out in such an open manner. Please don't ever feel embarrassed about expressing raw emotions. We don't always understand exactly what causes the feelings, but it doesn't make them less meaningful or real.
I hope you will give yourself some time to sort through this. Please be gentle with yourself as you continue to explore what may be triggering you. Stay in touch and know you are not alone.
@Compassionatelistener108
Thank you. I have more I'd like to say in gratitude towards you but I cannot find the words.
@themainjane
You are more than welcome. The words you chose are perfect. Wishing you a day filled with compassion from within and those around you.
@themainjane *hugs* remember to breath from your tummy, not sure if that helps or not but when I get scared it helps me to be reminded of that. Maybe you are scared of the shadows of the past, you cannot make it out but you see the them nevertheless. Ok this will be silly so forgive me - I create pictures of people in my mind because it helps me. Like talking to you, you are a adult which is scary. So I have a picture of you my age riding Sugar the Cow and laughing, not caring if you fall off and you are having a lot of fun. I know that is kind of silly but if that is a good memory stay in there if you can. I do not know what you look like or sound like but I remember you saying that, thinking you are a awesome girl. Regardless, I think I can out weird you and do better at self-embarassment (darn it, I cannot spell today) any time. That is not a challenge just a thought. I hope you feel better soon, if not find a nice cow that does not mind being a horse for a while 
@AmalieAnne
💜 Thank you. You did cheer me. This will pass surely. YOU are definitely an awesome girl.
@themainjane *hugs*
@AmalieAnne
Love what you've said here... and agree having a happy image to go to can help at times... maybe we all need a cow that doesn't mind being a horse kind of picture. x
I am grateful for this community.... I will be honest, it doesn't feel like home. But it does have some certain element to it that many other communities I've been a part of haven't had. I don't know how to put a finger on it. It's the empathy, if I had to use a word. It's been really lovely to be so unquestioningly welcomed.
I don't necessarily feel that I'm able to give back to it, and that's part of why it doesn't feel like home. I often don't know what to say to people, or how to reply. I agree, community is vastly important... I truly believe that our society (the powers that be that control it, i.e. the rich bankers etc) intentionally wants to isolate us, so that we become more dependent upon them by spending money on the things they produce to mollify the isolation (TV programming, drugs, products/consumerism). Even if I weren't to believe this was their active intent... it is absolutely a byproduct. I think we have got to do everything we can to continue to connect with one another in the midst of all of this.
Sometimes I think a large part of the trauma I experience is an acute awareness of the entire world's pain.
I don't feel that I necessarily have a lot in common with a lot of people here, which is fine... there are definitely some people I feel I have something(s) in common with. But it's another thing where I'm just not sure.
My day is just beginning... I have it off from work [sigh of relief] but am taking in my car to get it looked at, before I head off on my next road trip. I have lists to accomplish, to-do lists.
I had a scare yesterday, a PTSD-like episode, when one friend I was planning on staying with along my journey mentioned a "wedding anniversary" at his house the weekend I was going to be in town... I assumed he meant my ex, and I had a bout of anxiety.
Today, I found out... it's his sister. I think he must have realized what I assumed and thus clarified for me. He knows how badly I was hurt.
I had a second scare yesterday when the man I'm romantically becoming involved with again didn't communicate with me, and sent me a dire-sounding (to me) message in the evening saying he was going to email me today. I took care of myself by asking him to please warn me beforehand if the email contained bad news.
My therapist told me yesterday that not many people who struggle with anxiety get as far as I've gotten. That helped me feel a little bit better...
I hope you all are having lovely days and getting along the best you are able. Know that it's never as bad as it seems, even in your darkest of days. I'm speaking for myself too, as it's been very dark for me here lately. Know that you're inside of clouds, dark fog, night, and the day will come. The clouds will clear. I don't know why there are clouds and night; I guess it's just the weather. I don't know why the weather affects some of us more than others, at times so much it feels debilitating... but at least we have the sensitivity and the gifts to feel joy. I don't know why we still feel bad in the middle of a cloud even when we know it's just a cloud.... but at least, now we know it's just a cloud.
I don't know that I have many resources to offer the community here, other than wisdom when it strikes me, inspiration when it hits. Half-hearted encouragment at other times. I don't know if I am growing here; I guess I'll have to decide that for myself. At the very least, I acknowledge the ability to try this community out... I've been here for a few months now, testing the waters.
Anywho... Take care.
@singercrystalspirit
Thank you for your honesty. Altho I care for the people in this community as well, I also feel this is not my home. I'm not sure where my home is or if it even matters. So I stay. The people hear know me and support me.
I look forward to your thoughts as you progress on your journey.
And I wonder about the cloud as now I've become resolute to sit in this chair, frozen and unchanged. I'm supposed to be at work.
@themainjane
I think I am in trouble, not bad but just a little. I dislike disappointing my boss. Yet here I sit with the feeling that I can't move - that I must stay here. Feeling fragile and unhinged. Need stillness and avoidance for emotional homeostasis. Just can't face life.
@themainjane
You're welcome... Thanks for your honesty, too.
Thanks :) And yours.
What do you wonder about the cloud...?
@singercrystalspirit
Why it has to be there at all. Like you said. When will it lift and why does it always return? How many years can I survive like this. What if I succumb? Will it even matter? Sadly I know the answer. No, it doesn't matter if I stay or go. I know I will stay. And it will not matter that I was too weak to live or die. It's only mainly me that will suffer and only for awhile. Life ends eventually. Until then I'm stuck this way.
@singercrystalspirit
Wow! that was good feedback from your therapist! Well done. And agree that empathy may be the special ingredient we find here and that connection to one another is so important. Every inspirational thought or word counts.. you never know it may be just what someone needs to hear. Thanks for your response. x
@rozie
Thanks 😊
@rozie
Thanks for mentioning me Rozie. The images really do make me giggle out loud! :D
How is your day going?
I would say I'm at a 6/10 so far. It started off way worse because I felt nauseated and didn't want to get out of bed. But I'm up now and moving around so it's better. But I haven't eaten yet so that could change everything. I"m really angry at my body today for failing me in so many ways. I'm so frustrated. I'm scared to eat today because I can handle a 6/10 today but nothing less. :/ I have therapy later today and I'm hoping it will be a chance to decompress. We shall see.
What is important to you in being part of a community?
I like having lots of people to support me, that way I don't have to rely on just one person and can reach out to whoever is available. I feel like I need support every single day and I feel bad when I lean on one person too much - a bit like a burden, you know?
In what other ways could this community provide support?
I like it a lot and I think everyone is doing a great job. Thank you for you! <3
@rozie
How is your day going?
It's going...ok. So far, so good anyway. Better sleep last night (ie, made it through till morning without being triggered, which up till today has been the norm recently). For that, I am grateful. Made it outside to the store without too much anxiety which was also a bonus. Will return in a bit to delve into the deeper questions regarding community (though any follow-up may consist primarily of GIFs, because one marginally ok sleep does not immediately account for the deficit accrued 😂)⛺
@rozie thank you.
not doing well. close to leaving and giving up entirely . pushed and trigerred at work and by period symptoms. Was so late and heavy im not sure it wasnt more. Cant think about it. Having to go on for reasons im not sure of anymore. Hubby is down and angry with me. he deserves alot better. Too much pain and stuff coming up i cant deal with. Grandparents memorial in a month. My twin brothers own twins turn two after that. Been asked to cover special care baby unit at work. Its too much and i cant do it. Have no skills or resources left to deal. Isolated and pushed it all away. Im done trying. Just accept i let everyone down.
@inventiveOrange1
This sounds like a lot. HUG!!! I will pray for you. You aren't a lone!!! ❤️
@KLM3278 thank you. means alot. Hugs
@inventiveOrange1That sounds so overwhelming :( I used to have similar problems because I had such a hard time defining my own needs to people and it was so hard to say no if I was asked to do something. Felt like letting them down or failing before I even started. But people aren't mind readers. If you aren't up for something right now, generally telling them is the best way to go about it because it gives them time to find someone else. I used to take shifts at work and then the time would come and I'd panic and agonize before potentially calling in sick. Eventually I realized that saying "No, I don't think I can take that on right now" solved a lot of prooblems before they even began.
Do you feel like you have trouble asserting your needs to people and saying "No"?
@Hoxenos definitely do. cant say no as thats another reason to beat myself up
@inventiveOrange1
Oh so sorry it sounds like its into overwhelm for you. And when you get overwhelmed/overload its hard to function. Wondering what you can unload, even a little. Or let others know your limits.. we're often not good at this . But if you remember the Stress Cup visual that was posted by Katie recently, when we have PTSD our cup very easily over flows. Maybe pause, talk it over with someone , and see where it can be unloaded.You need a break here somehow. Hug. x
@rozie not getting anywhere tho did break a bit at work and now they realise i cant do that ward. Seeing the premature ones will finish me. Finding words and going on difficult. Staying away from final solutions while have the strength to fight that. Thank you.
@inventiveOrange1 Tight hugs, Orange ⛺❤️I'm sorry youre having such a rough time of it. X
@melliotm hugs mell. home from late shift. Need alcohol. Alot of it. Numb this need to end it all before im really dumb.
@inventiveOrange1🍷🍷🍷settle in, Orange. The fort is open. ⛺⛺⛺ You too, @TreesandWine. It sounds all of us need a refuge today/tonight. I don't drink anymore or else I'd also be numbing the overwhelming sensations that I can't seem to manage ATM.
Hi everyone, I am new to this community and 7cups. Thanks for being here.
@christine1980
Welcome! I'm new here too! ❤️
@TheresaWilliams
And welcome to you too Theresa! Good to have you here with us. x
@christine1980
Hi Christine and a warm welcoem to you! We're glad you've joined us here. x
@christine1980 hello I like your picture
