Living with DID: Life Hacks by Canvas - add yours!!!

Daily tasks: Adulting and stuff

I labelled everything in my kitchen/bedroom and craft room so everyone knows what items belong were and were there are special items for each part they have a spot with their name on.

Getting out the house in the morning, I struggle with little ones that want to stay home and not leave so I do a count down, the closer the time till we leave the less involvement they are allowed. This means if they get up on time they can pick their favourite socks etc but if they refuse I choose for them.

Lists, write down everything as you think of it as you might not know that you are going to switch the next second and forget, and it helps save all of that energy you spend trying to remember it all!

Delegate tasks on your list to co-operative parts. With my littles, we do the tidy up game and then they are rewarded with playtime. Have them tick and put their name against the item they completed so you can ask them questions if you need to. Like where did you leave the hoover lol!

Cleaning and decluttering, before throwing anything away and upsetting one of your parts make a pile of items you are wanting to let go and set a time limit on when you will take them out of your home and then everyone knows they need to claim anything they want before then.

Self Care: Physical wellbeing

Calendar reminders on your phone are really great for appointments but I also use them to remind me to take medicine, vitamins, to eat and sleep. I even plan my leaving times and little tasks like taking the rubbish bin out for collection. That way whoever is out gets alerted to what needs to be done.

​​​​​​​Set a goal for getting out the house, I try to plan at least 2 days where I go out and have a walk around. I get a lot of pain so Im restricted but you could make this your exercise time if that suits your ability. Also consider your window of tolerance for triggers. I settled on 2 trips out because if I was out more than that I shut down and wasnt able to do anything at all.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Shopping lists – absolute must for me for food, clothes or anything else. If I let the littles run riot in the grocery store Im going to eat chocolate 3 times a day so I plan as many healthy choices as I can and make a shopping list.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Set self boundaries – my littles are allowed 1 pudding a week and they take turns to chose. If Im feeling down I still make myself get up and eat breakfast even if I go back to bed after.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Body memories/feeling disconnected from the body, grounding techniques are very helpful for this. Specifically breathing exercises as they focus the mind on how the breath feels in the body, even if it is just an observance of the chest moving it helps a bit.

Self Care: Emotional wellbeing

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Communication – the most important thing for emotional wellbeing of all of your parts including you. Some parts may seem like mind terrorists and drive you crazy but there is a reason they behave that way and often it is because they feel unheard. There are a couple of things I do which help this. Inner meetings to discuss appointments and ‘stuff coming up in the week for all of us. The other we call the talking point exercise. 1 part is allowed to talk without anyone interrupting and is heard by all other parts. After the part will contain any feelings/memories that they are feeling overwhelmed with in a clear jar where it can be observed for insight without it taking over and disrupting the whole system. Then in the next Inner Meeting we might discuss how that made each of us feel and if there is anything we need to do to help that part.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Trust – trust is the goal for all of our internal communication. The more we understand each other, what our roles are and why we are like we are, the more acceptance we can offer each other. This helps to heal some of the neglect from others in our life, and helps us to feel acceptable to each other.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Create a contract – I have a list of things that are important to us as a system, like taking part in recovery as well as unacceptable behaviours such as self harm that all parts of the system agree to. For the ones who dont agree or when a part breaks the agreement there are certain consequences. It could be anything from not picking pudding that week, loosing free time out or more serious options like lockdown. Lockdown is where all parts agree in the system that a part is unhealthily impacting themselves or others and will be restrained by all from being allowed out in the body.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Journaling and art – some parts are too young or unable to communicate what is happening for them. We keep a journal were we write notes to each other, work through things from therapy or just express something in a picture that we are struggling to say. I find that using my hands to write or draw helps me stay present in my body and the moment and reduces the likelihood of dissociation. The journal is a safe place only seen by us and our therapist.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Self recognition – Self esteem is the number 1 thing that makes me feel dramatically better and able to cope. The more I see myself succeeding the more I trust myself/parts to deal with things that come up in our daily life. For example today was a really awful stressful day, I feel ill, Ive been bugged by external situations and not much has gone to plan. But in spite of that we did 3 or 4 things on the to-do list so I can tell myself/my parts yeah it was bad today but we did really good considering. Im a fan of a good to-done list!!!

#TraumaSupport #DID

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