I lost my best friend

I was overseas in Iraq last year. We were tasked with heading outside the wire for routine patrol. My best friend was in my squad with me.

Later on, we made contact with the local militia who carried a lot of guns. Bullets zipped past me as I dove for cover.

Instantly, everyone starts shooting. The militia had us outnumbered 3 to 1, but not necessarily outgunned. There ensued a mutual exchange of F bombs and ammunition.

Until I saw a little kid run across the battlefield in my line of sight. He wasn't carrying anything, so I tried keeping an eye on him as I continued engaging. Turns out that little kid, couldn't have been older than 10, takes a rifle and starts shooting at my friend. I see the young ones exchange of gunfire towards my buddy, and as I snap my rifle towards the kid, I see my buddy flop backwards, screaming.

So I shot and killed the kid, and moved to secure my friend, who was shot in the throat.

Blood and gurgles tried escaping his mouth as I covered his wound, calling for a medic.

My buddy was crying, eyes full of tears, as mine did the same. I looked him dead in the eyes, pleading he doesn't close his eyes.

He didnt have to. His final words were crying for his mom, as he silently cried himself to death. Literally. My cold, bloody hands were the last things he felt as he died in front of me.

I live with that thought every day now, with last night being the worst as I sat up crying at 3AM in my girlfriends arms because of the nightmares I have.