Was this SA?
When i was staying at my boyfriends holiday home for new years 2025 we kept asking me for sex. Now i never said no but i was sitting on the couch knees tucked in chest repeatedly saying I wasn’t sure and trying to convince him to do something else like go for a walk. He kept asking and I ended up giving in and saying okay but then he mentioned he didn’t have a condom, i then spoke up about how i really didn’t like the situation (him not having condom) but he kept promising he would pull out in time and kept asking me so i gave in again. The whole time we were having sex i was not enthusiastically participating and was still the entire time. He also wanted me to do doggy style which means he wouldn’t have been able to see the pain i was in so he might not have known. I was a virgin by the way so maybe he thought it was just nerves and i needed a push? either way i have nightmares every single night and feel detached from my body. Please any insight or opinions on this situation would help more than you know. Little background about him in the relationship: He was extremely narcissistic and had bad anger issues.
@CareBear099
Hi CareBear,
I'm really sorry that this happened to you. You described that you didn't give enthusiastic consent, raised concerns about protection and he wasn't checking in with you which is not okay, especially for your first experience. It sounds like he pressured you into it and that is coercion, not consent.
The feelings of trauma that you're describing afterwards are also strong sign that this was SA and you are allowed to reach out for support, to tell your story and please know that no one needs to be pushed to go further than they feel ready for 💜
Sending support and care, please be gentle with yourself 🫂
Transferring @Amanda84 's message here since the duplicate is gone -
She said:
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
This was not right.
You expressed that you werent ready.
And multiple times said it was something you weren't comfortable with.
Yet he continued to introduce things you didn't wish .
And made you uncomfortable.
Someone who has never had sex would never be expected to perform doggy style , with no experience and especially when it's painful, until you are comfortable and use to someone.
Your bf is not a nice person, he shouldn't be forceful and he should have respected that you weren't happy with any of this.
You absolutely need to not be with someone so forceful, dismissive and manipulative , putting his own needs above everything else 💚
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and to add to Amanda's words..... No is a complete sentence. I am sorry this happened to you. My PMs are open if you want to talk
