Part III: Paddling Alongside Others

@GlenM

• When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?

  One event that stands out to me happened during a very difficult time in my teaching career, when I was working in a high-stress school setting with a lot of outside restrictions. I was navigating competing expectations, limited instructional flexibility, and a great deal of uncertainty about how to best support my students while also meeting administrative demands.
  During that time, someone at work really listened to what I had to say. Instead of giving quick answers or passing judgment, she looked at the problem with genuine interest and empathy. She understood how hard the situation was and reminded me of my strengths as a teacher, especially my ability to change with the times, connect with students, and lead through chaos.
  That moment of kindness changed the way I saw things. I stopped feeling alone and reacting and started to see the situation as something I could handle in a planned way. It made me refocus on the things I could change, speak up for my students better, and face challenges with more confidence and a sense of purpose.
  More importantly, it influenced how I show up for others. I now try to lead with the same amount of empathy, no matter if I'm working with students, coworkers, or stakeholders. I know from personal experience how one moment of kindness can change someone's attitude and performance, and I try to give others those moments whenever I can.

• How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?

  There was a period in my career when I felt deeply discouraged because I was putting in a great deal of effort but receiving feedback that felt inconsistent and, at times, discouraging rather than developmental. The unpredictability was the most challenging aspect. At times, I lacked clarity regarding my strengths, areas for improvement, and the best method to proceed towards achieving my goals.
  Not only was it difficult for me to get over, but I also wanted to know more about that experience. The importance of being clear, consistent, and using the right tone when supporting others became clear to me as time went on. Not only the words we choose, but also our delivery determines whether the other person feels lifted up or brought down.
  My approach to teamwork is now much more deliberate as a result of that experience. I do my best to establish a feeling of stability. I make expectations clear, I offer specific and actionable feedback, and I check for understanding rather than assuming it. I understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of that kind of doubt, so I make an effort to pay attention to how feedback is received as well as how it is given.
  It heightened my empathy as well. When someone is struggling or unsure, I recognize that there is often more beneath the surface than what is immediately visible. Instead of being quick to point out their mistakes, I strive to approach that moment with empathy and understanding, and I do my best to guide them toward a solution.
  Even though it was tough at the time, that experience taught me valuable lessons about leadership, providing support to others, and what it means to assist someone in reaching their full potential.

• Narrative Therapy Exercise: How did it feel? 

  This was painful and clarifying. Reliving those experiences made me vulnerable, but it also gave me perspective. It grounded and empowered me by clarifying my growth from a difficult situation.

• List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you

  Receiving unclear and harsh comments in a high-pressure workplace was one event that at first felt extremely unlucky. It was depressing at the time and caused me to doubt my effectiveness.
  But in the end, that experience made me more deliberate and introspective in my work. It improved my ability to look for understanding, stand up for myself, and create more organized and encouraging methods of collaborating with others. Over time, it helped mold my leadership style and strengthened my endurance and empathy.

Part 3: Closing Reflections: 

• What was one nugget that stood out to you from this part?

  One nugget that jumped out to me was the idea that painful events might be redefined as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks. That shift in perspective is powerful because it helps you to go forward with intention rather than being stuck in the present moment.

• Think of a time someone truly "believed" in you. How did that feel? If comfortable, please share that story and try to capture how it changed you or impacted you? If that person was a chapter in your life. What would you call that chapter?

  One moment that stands out is when a coworker saw that I could be a leader before I did. I was focused on doing my work effectively at the moment, but I hadn't yet completely accepted a bigger idea of leadership or influence.
  She always told me to share my thoughts, take the lead, and follow my gut. It was important to her since her faith was strong and clear. She didn't just give her general support. She showed me how specific strengths may have a bigger effect.
  That idea changed something for me. It let me see myself in a new way and move forward with more confidence. I started to take on more responsibility, speak up for my work more openly, and help people in a more organized way.
  That chapter would be called "The Turning Point" if I had to name it. I started to own my role and see the value I brought at that point.
  It felt good and, in many ways, like it was true. Being perceived that way made me feel responsible, not just to satisfy expectations, but also to reach the potential that someone else saw in me. That event still affects how I lead and help others today.

@GlenM
River III: section 1 and 2...
1. I felt Compassion when I found someone who understood I was in difficulty and I wasn't just lazy, it helped me to stand up and not give up but find a way together to deal with my difficulties, this changed my directory from being stuck to active, even if my main goal is slow, I'm working so much on other aspects of my life now that motivate me to get closer to that goal everyday. 

2.Not having followed the traditional social trajectory of : graduate, find a job, get married and then have a kid, another kid and start everything all over again with them... friends and family's conversations started being a broken record as if there's only one valid question "Have you...?" and after that another "Have you...?".  This "being behind" "not being on the main track" isolated me a lot and blocked me, by being in this state I had to find a way to understand and live my own life to get out of it. I needed to get out of my town and people, to discover different ways of thinking. This helped my to not be judgemental and listen, but most importantly to not always ask the same question and be stuck on that one thing as if there's nothing else to life, as an equal to a girl that came to ask me to help her with her homework, I understood what she need to feel like she had a voice and place to express herself and not a teacher, peer or parent telling her what to do or speaking over her. In the end with a bit of my help she managed to graduate and do what I couldn't bc I helped her find the support and not the judgement. 

(to be continued...)

• When have you felt someone’s compassion change your direction?
  when I was disappointed and angry about my work situation. I reached to 2 people and would never guessed what changes it will start for me. Not as much about the work itself, but about me, about how I relate with people, about what I believe being possible for me, about how happy I am, about what I am inspired to go after..
   
• How has something that once hurt you become part of how you help others?
  I can relate with sad and hurting people. Depression does not scare me and is not exaggerated for me.
   
• Narrative Therapy Exercise: How did it feel? 

It feels bad. I feel disconnected from my family. I don't have dreams about what my husband or kids will think of me. It is like I don't care.
 

• List one event that looked unlucky but later helped you
  I suppose the work project that deeply frustrated me turned out to be a tipping point for me. It let me to connect with people who made a difference for me
   
  Reflections: 

• What was one nugget that stood out to you from this part?
  I am stuck at the funeral picture. I am not able to do this exercise. I wouldn't mind to just disappear today. Sorry.
   
• Think of a time someone truly "believed" in you. How did that feel? If comfortable, please share that story and try to capture how it changed you or impacted you? If that person was a chapter in your life. What would you call that chapter?
  feeling alive