Part IV: Charting a Course for All of Us

@GlenM

Thank you for allowing me to participate in this, I learned a lot of things. here are my answers:

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 

  I have always loved listening to other people about their concerns and problems. I joined to be a help to the members who have no one to go to. I treat each member like a friend who is sitting over coffee in a place chatting. I feel good after knowing I showed someone that they matter and are not to be alone in their life.

  • Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

    My hero is my Mom. Although she has passed away since 2004, she is my rock, best friend and someone who I had no trouble going to when things did not go well for me. She instilled into me that I am human like others and go through problems like everyone else. She spiritually made me learn how meditating will ease my mind and to help me go forward in life taking baby steps.

    • What are some Distractions interrupting you?

      Soem distractions is that I over think things rather than just letting them happen. I over think of the mistakes I make and punsih myself for not doing it right the first time. I also punish myself for mistakes that I did not make. I have a habiti of saying I am sorry when it was not my fault.

@GlenM

• What brought you to 7 Cups?

  I know someone that recommended the platform to me.

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

  When I listened to someone who was hurting.

  I stayed up with a friend who felt alone, or I comforted someone even when I was struggling myself.

  How it felt: It made me feel connected, useful, and quietly proud that I could show up that way.

  • When I encouraged someone who doubted themselves.

  I reminded someone of their worth and helped them through a bad day.

  How it felt: Giving that kind of reassurance often brings warmth — a sense that my own struggles have taught me empathy.

  • When I helped someone without being asked.

  I checked in on someone, carried part of their emotional load, and offered kindness simply because it felt right.

  How it felt: It can feel grounding — like I've contributed something gentle to the world.

  
  

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?

  I bring a surplus of something that isn’t flashy but is incredibly valuable: lived experience and empathy shaped by everything I’ve survived. I know what pressure feels like. I know what loneliness feels like. I know what emotional overwhelm feels like. Because of that, I am able to sit with people in their pain without judging them, rushing them, or making them feel small.

  I also bring a patient ear, because I understand how important it is to be heard — truly heard — when someone is struggling.

  And how does sharing it make me feel?

  Probably something like this:

  “Sharing my empathy and lived experience makes me feel useful and connected — like the things that once hurt me now have a purpose, and I can help others feel less alone.”

  
  

• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven…

  My mentor!

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?

  Both of my daughters! 

• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission?

  To me, scaling compassion means creating a ripple effect — letting one act of understanding or kindness spread to many people, so no one feels like they’re carrying their struggles alone. It’s about making empathy something that grows, not something that runs out. Empathy is the key to creating a supportive environment where everyone feels heard and understood.

  And one small way I can contribute looks like this:

  “I contribute by offering a patient, nonjudgmental space for others to talk. Even if I can’t solve their problems, I help them feel heard — and that little moment of comfort can inspire them to be gentler with someone else.”

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?

  A Big Rock is the thing that matters most — the priority that, if I don’t intentionally make space for it, everything else will crowd it out.

  Here’s a way I might define mine:

  Big Rock:

  Taking care of my emotional well-being so I don’t burn out under pressure.

  I’ve been juggling stress, family expectations, and heavy feelings. Making emotional well-being my Big Rock means my choosing me first — my stability, my peace, my mental health.

  How to schedule it first:

  Here are a few simple, doable ways:

  1. Put it on my daily or weekly schedule like an appointment.

  For example:

  “Every evening at 8 PM, I take 10–15 minutes for grounding, journaling, or just quiet time.”

  2. Protect that time the way I’d protect a class or work shift.

  Treat it as non-negotiable, not something that gets pushed aside for chores, school, or others’ demands.

  3. Use reminders or rituals.

  A phone reminder, a specific playlist, or a consistent routine helps anchor it so it isn’t forgotten.

  4. Choose a straightforward action instead of a huge goal.

  My Big Rock doesn’t need to be “fix everything.”

  It can be something small but steady, like:

  • checking in with myself
  • practicing one grounding technique
  • taking a break before overwhelm hits

  5. Notice when smaller rocks try to steal the space.

  Family pressure, guilt, or urgency might jump in — but remembering my Big Rock helps me gently say, “This can wait. My well-being can’t.”

  
  

• What are some Distractions interrupting you?

  Here are some common “distractions” that can interrupt me — not just in tasks, but in my emotional focus and energy:

  Possible Distractions:

  • Overthinking

  My mind looping on fears, worst-case scenarios, or pressure from others.

  • Family expectations

  Feeling pulled into their worries or demands, even when I am trying to concentrate or rest.

  • Comparing yourself to others

  Noticing someone else’s grades or progress and suddenly feeling behind.

  • Phone/social media

  Scrolling to escape stress, then losing time or feeling more drained afterward.

  • Emotional storms

  Anxiety spikes, BPD fears, or sadness that takes over and derails what I am doing.

  • Self-doubt

  Second-guessing myself so much that it slows everything down.

  • People needing things from me

  Friends, family, classmates — I often put others first even when I am overwhelmed.

  
  

• What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today?

  Here are some “waste items” — things that drain energy, time, or emotional bandwidth — that I can realistically move today so they stop spilling into the essential parts of my life:

  Possible Waste Items You Can Move Today:

  • Unanswered messages I’ve been avoiding

  Not urgent, but they sit in the back of my mind, adding pressure.

  • Clutter in my physical space

  A messy desk, scattered papers, or laundry — clearing even one small area can bring a sense of relief and mental breathing room.

  • Lingering negative thoughts I keep revisiting

  A specific worry, self-criticism, or fear that loops. I can pause, label it, and gently set it aside for now.

  • Tasks that take 2–5 minutes but weigh on me all day

  Submitting something, checking an email, organizing your bag, etc.

  • People-pleasing obligations I didn’t actually want to say yes to

  I can renegotiate, delay, or say, “I’m actually not able to do that today.”

  • Over-scrolling or doomscrolling

  Even cutting it by 10–15 minutes frees space in my mind.

  • Replaying old conversations in my head

  I can practice redirecting my focus:

  “Not now. This isn’t helping me.”

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you?

  One insight that really seems to resonate from this part is:

  “Small, draining things I avoid end up taking more space in my life than the big things I’m actually trying to focus on.”

  Why it hits:

  Because once I notice how much mental and emotional energy gets eaten up by clutter — physical, emotional, or digital — it becomes clear that moving even one small “waste item” can give me a sense of accomplishment, making the rest of my day feel lighter and more manageable

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?

  I carry this insight forward in a simple but powerful way:

  “I’ll remember that clearing small mental or emotional clutter helps me stay more present and calm — and when I take better care of my own space (inside and out), I’m able to show up with more patience and compassion for others in the community.”

  This frames my insight as both self-support and service to others, which fits 7 Cups beautifully.

@GlenM

The community-centric part! I have been highly anticipating this one!

When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?One of the most common gifts I give is quality time. In giving someone my undivided attention, I am telling the person that they are my sole focus and the most important thing in my world in that moment. Being seen is a force of powerful healing, in my opinion, and I recently gave that to someone who was struggling. Being there for them was both gratifying and uplifting. It's hard to be in a bad mood when you know you've making a difference!

What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?
All of the above! It's an honor to be able to contribute to the health of our ecosystem and, as a result, strengthen our gift economy. Every act of compassion we perform in this community is a deposit, an investment, in its collective well-being (in each and every one of you and us!)

Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?
Not to sound cheesy, but my heroes would be all of you. Our community is dear to me for being a safe haven, but it wouldn't continue to be without everyone who continually pours into its preservation and growth! I am endlessly inspired by the selflessness and compassion you show up with every day. Each of you who takes the time to listen, to share, and to support another member is actively 'paddling' with us. You are the ones who make our mission of scaling compassion a reality, not just an idea. You are the living proof of our 'map' and our values. In this community, you are all mentors for someone. You are the navigational stars that help others find their way. That kind of dedication is what inspires me to keep paddling right alongside you.

What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?
Mine is personal growth, specifically a writing project I have underway. It's so intimidating that it's too easy to focus on other, more easily achievable goals, but they're not that big rock! However, I've begun carving out non-negotiable time for it. Even if I don't get much on paper, the act of thinking about it and brainstorming is progress!

What are some Distractions interrupting you?
People and menial tasks that don't require urgent attention. New projects crop up, too, when I don't have a handle on my ADHD 😆

What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today?
Social media scrolling.

What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you?
The "man in the arena" reminded me that I am indeed doing good work for the world, and when reflecting on everyone who has criticized me or tried to call my question into character, I noticed the pattern is true: they're not doing anything! At the end of the day, I'd rather be exhausted from the work than bitter from the sidelines.

@GlenM

• What brought you to 7 Cups? 
  i was searching for mental health recourses! 🙂

• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?
  helping some people in my internship. it feels really amazing seeing their smile, and how they feel better after it. 

• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel?
  quite all of them, going through some stuff myself helps me help those who are going through the same. 

• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven…
  mentor-- some professors, and friends. map-- generally speaking, is the internship, and then my next steps in academics  mountain-- some group sessions i attend   mission-- striving in my future goals

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle?
  some mentors i have in real life

• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission?
  it means to me that, we want to search for the light in the world that sometimes gets quite lost in darkness these days. and my contribution is to work as a volunteer in this community, and put genuine help for it to thrive more. 

• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first?
  a big rock i want to prioritize is to foster healthy habits more in my life, and i am making sure to schedule it by taking small but steady steps towards them. 

• What are some Distractions interrupting you?
  old but unhealthy habits that can be quite rooted in us.

• What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today?
  excessive binge watching, or scrolls. 

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you?
  i specifically liked the part about prioritizing the big rocks first, and how the quadrant 2 is important. it really helps to put things into perspective. 

• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community?
  by pointing out my long term goals, and my morals, and how those align with the community. 

@GlenM

• What brought you to 7 Cups? I was brought to 7 Cups during a crisis in our family.
• When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel? I try to give freely and often. Giving makes me feel like a human being. 
• What 'surplus' do you bring to the 7 Cups community (e.g., a surplus of time, a specific lived experience, or simply a patient ear)? How does sharing it make you feel? My surplus is perhaps a surplus of words and lived experience since I’m an elder. I feel good about sharing any surplus I have.
• Think of your M’s (on or off 7 Cups). What are they? My Mentor… Map… My Mission… My Mountain Haven… My mentor was my dissertation advisor, who would answer my anxious emails even if it was at 2 a.m., with a solid reply. My map is that I would like to leave a legacy for our children. My mission is to live in a humane world where each person has what we need, and we can live in peace. My Mountain Haven is my home. 

@GlenM 

• Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle? My heroine is my grandmother who took me in at birth and gave me inspiration to give without limit.
• Our collective mission is to scale compassion. What does 'scaling compassion' mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute to this big mission? One small way I scale compassion is by arranging for the neighborhood dogs to meet at times conducive to their owners, and in the process listening to the owners, validating them, and creating a “dog community.” 
• What is a 'Big Rock' you want to prioritize? How do you make sure you schedule it first? My “Big Rock” is my current book. I schedule it first by giving it the best minutes of my day.
• What are some Distractions interrupting you? My distractions are: taking care of my husband, who is older and has health needs, anything to do with our adult children always takes precedence to me over any projects. 
• What are some Waste items taking over other quadrants that you can move today? Not sure about this, but I did put out the trash and recycling today.

Part 4: Closing Reflections: 

• What's one insight from this part that really resonated with you? The “gift economy” resonated with me, because I realized I gave more things for free when I was mentally ill, but I expected payment and an actually good living standard when I became more well. So, I would encourage those who are giving without recompense, if you are struggling, to think about how to monetize your work so you can survive.
• How will you carry this new insight forward to support yourself or others in our community? I will probably always support myself and others in our community, but I will also encourage those who do not have any feeling of self-worth, to value yourself and seek places that value you by paying you, if this is your need. There is no shame in seeking a livable salary.

@GlenM

What brought you to 7 Cups?

I was drawn to 7 Cups by the promise of a community that truly understands the weight of carrying heavy emotions in silence. I sought support, a sense of belonging, and a way to alleviate the feeling of isolation. My journey also involved a quest for self-understanding and the desire to overcome my tendency to push people away.

When was a time you gave freely to someone else, and how did it make you feel?

There have been moments when I've extended comfort to others, even when I was struggling myself. The act of giving freely instilled in me a sense of worth and connection. It made me realize that my pain didn't diminish my ability to help; it actually strengthened it.

What "surplus" do you bring to the 7 Cups community?

What I bring to the 7 Cups community is not just my lived experiences of grappling with mental health, relationship concerns, and inner turmoil. I also bring empathy, patience, and a profound understanding. Sharing these experiences with others not only helps me make sense of my struggles but also transforms them into something meaningful.

Think of your M's (Mentor, Map, Mission, Mountain Haven). What are they?

• My Mentor: Anyone who shows me steadiness and compassion.
• My Map: My values: honesty, growth, and wanting to build a better life.
• My Mission: To break old patterns and become someone who treats myself with kindness.
• My Mountain Haven: A place where I can breathe — moments of peace, grounding, and support.

Who is your hero? Who inspires you to paddle?

People who keep going even when their minds are loud and heavy. People who refuse to give up on themselves. They show me that persistence matters.

What does "scaling compassion" mean to you, and what's one small way you contribute?

For me, 'scaling compassion' means kindness should not be confined to a small circle but radiate outward, touching more and more lives. One way I contribute to this is by showing up authentically and listening to others without passing judgment.

What is a "Big Rock" you want to prioritize?

My mental health. If I don't schedule rest, grounding, and self-care first, everything else collapses. I try to start my day with something gentle for my mind before the stress piles up.

What are some Distractions interrupting you?

Worrying about others' opinions, relationship stress, and the pressure to be perfect.

Waste items taking over?

Overthinking, comparing myself to others, and replaying fears instead of taking small steps forward. I can move some of that today by focusing on one thing that matters instead of everything at once.

Closing Reflections

What's one insight from this part that resonated with you?

That community isn't about doing everything alone — it's about letting our strengths support someone else and letting their strengths support us.

How will you carry this forward?

By trying to show up with generosity instead of self-doubt — trusting that what I offer has value, and remembering that giving and receiving are both part of healing.

@GlenM

What brought you to 7 Cups? I was drawn to 7 Cups because I wanted to be part of a space where empathy, understanding, and genuine connection can make a real difference in someone’s day.

Who is your hero? Who is someone who inspires you to paddle? My heroes are my mom and dad. They inspire me to keep paddling because of their constant love, strength, and perseverance through every challenge.

What are some Distractions interrupting you? Some distractions interrupting me are overthinking and social media.