7 Cups Mentors!
Alright so people told me, *cough* lots of people told me that listeners have mentors, and they are usually redirected to some if they do a bad job as a listener and gets bad ratings right?
So naturally you'd think listeners would get much better, they would know what is going on in the chat, they know what to watch out for, good and bads about the chat, where they should go in the chat and how they should start the chat to make everything happen at all..
So what the hell Mentors...?
I can't even count in my mind how many listeners I've come across that told me that they have a mentor but they completely cannot basically make a chat... Mentors, do you do anything at all to help them "ACTUALLY IMPROVE" or do you just give them the exact same sh*t to say like god damn robots without them actually making any effort into making the conversation and everything ?!
it's really getting annoying how the listeners comes then pastes a text that obviously a mentor wrote for them, and made their conversation into the end instantly... I really want to talk to mentors and see what the hell goes through the chat and something like that comes out...
@BioStar
I appreciate you bringing this up! Yes, we do work with listeners that come to us as mentees, or for quality coaching. However, that being said, no one has control over other people's actions. Listeners have to want to improve themselves. Mentors are also not in that chat between the listener and the member/guest, so we cannot see what is going on. We can go over different ways of doing things and what to say in coaching sessions with our mentees, but they have to put their skills they've learned into their chats.
I encourage you to fill out a review at the end of a chat if you are not satisfied with your conversation. Feedback helps listeners grow and improve.
@EvelyneRose
There isn't much to even fill out for a review of the listener, everything would always be 1 star literally if we just left it as it is.. And I bet, a lot of the time people rate listeners in a better manner just to be polite.. I met a lot of the listeners that don't know how to do their job even with mentors... Even if I ask for them to listen when I just want to say something out there about my day or whatever.. Some don't even manage to basically listen other's simply ignore what I say and seem completely careless as well as sympathy on most listeners is a total 1-0 stars... Having them write nice copy paste text that every has so dearly much over used has sorta killed off the sympathy of the chat, which is the welcoming of the chat and first impressions of a listener even tho they are volunteers, but if they are, aren't they suppose to do the right job for whatever they signed up for ?
I know, no one controls that who signs up for this place, but in the end are the mentors actually any good at talking to people then ?
@BioStar
It may be that someone does rate better to be polite, but if a one star review is what you honestly think they deserve, then that should be your review. However, in order to give good constructive feedback, in the box for feedback it would be helpful to say what you found lacking. "I expected X but they did Y" or "I would have liked it if they did XYZ when I talked about this". A one star by itself unfortunately doesn't tell anyone much. You could also give that feedback directly to a listener you're talking to. As a listener, we should all be open to constructive feedback on our chats in order to improve.
I understand your frustration when you feel people aren't listening to you, especially as that is a listeners job. Just to make sure I have it correct, you feel like people are copying and pasting well constructed texts that come off as robotic and uncaring, or perhaps common because you feel many listeners say the same things? If you feel people are not being empathetic, if you feel comfortable, I encourage you to tell them how you feel. Because this is text and no one can see facial expressions or tone, it really helps to communicate what we need from a chat to our listener.
As for your last question, I'd say mentors do our best to help and guide any listener that needs us or we have taken on as a mentee. If chats are not going well despite having a mentor, perhaps that listener is new or is still practicing and learning their active listening skills. These things tend to take time and experience to improve, as with any new skill.
If you really want to talk to mentors you can find a list of them here: Teen Quality Mentors (I hope I picked the right badge 
)
I don't think the mentors as a group take any collective responsibility for listener quality as a whole. I imagine they aren't even provided with a measure of it. But I could be wrong.
@BioStar
Hey there @BioStar ! I think there's a huge problem like you said, in everything you mentioned. I've noticed that this tends to happen mostly with newer listeners, that have yet to learn the ropes and best qualities of a listener. As mentors, we try to reach as many listeners as possible, but many times it's not possible to talk to everybody, nor we get to do the same work with every single one of our mentees. Sometimes they just ask if they can be our mentee but ever work with us on any of their listening skills - that's not really having a mentor to help you even if they tell you so.
So, please believe me, even being on the "other side", I get your point and it's something to be very worried about. So far what we're trying to do, with the Welcome Committee for example is make sure everybody has someone to reach to at least and know where to go for feedback. Our training to join as a listener should be, indeed, harder or more training should be offered right away. But it's also a reality that you learn with practice and listeners who have not had many chats usually - and sadly - most of the times aren't our best. This doesn't mean they won't learn better in the future but it's quite a job to speak out and ask for help right from the start, most people only learn through many many chats, and that leads to having many many bad chats before you start actually listening.
This has a clear problem which is: members who get stuck with a listener in this stage. While we work to reach to them and help them improve (or at least not be as bad) right from the start, my best two cents would be that you give yourself the time to check the browse listeners page and particularly browse through the verified listeners. This means they have at least some experience and could work your issue through with you better.
Finding someone you 100% like as your listener isn't easy - like it's not easy to find a therapist in real life that you feel truly gets what you say (it took me several years, actually). What might work for someone else won't for you, or you may have other expectations than other people. Setting goals & things to look forward too with your listener when first starting a chat can also be helpful.
Lastly, I know leaving a harsh review isn't easy for a member. As mad as you can be, you're a good person and don't want to simply bad-mouth someone freely. But feedback is necessary so if you can leave thoughtful feedback and mostly helpful, that's greatly appreciated. Also, if you have had a bad listener, feel free to fill a form on their behalf (you don't have to say it's you who did it) for them to get a quality mentor. And we'll take care of them :)
I know you may feel a bit discouraged right now, but please know that we try and go out of our way everyday to improve our listener quality, even if it doesn't show as easily. It's an everyday work and usually something tiring, but I think it does help in the long run! My PMs are always open as well if you ever want to drop by xx.
someone was helped to deal with the depression given advice?
