Trying to Love Myself
Hi. I'm suffering from low self-esteem, and I'm constantly criticizing and psychoanalyzing myself. To get better, I've been trying meditation and gratitude journal, but I think it's going to be a long journey. Other than the negative self-talk, I often spend my time reading, knitting, or playing games. I'm hoping that I can find someone who feel the same, and maybe we can help each other out.
Hiya @SeaLollipop lovely to meet you and so proud of you for recognizing the need to work on your self-esteem and loving yourself.
I feel, a starting point in the love-yourself-joureny, is the mere thought of wanting to do it, you're already so many steps ahead, and while the journey may feel long, and on somedays even more exhausting, you've embarked on the best one and I truly hope it's worth every little effort!💛
It is nice to hear about the hobbies that engage you.
Meditation and gratitude journaling are great ways to become more aware of our emotions, be more present and express gratitude in our daily lives.
If you'd like some more resources and insight on releasing limiting beliefs, reducing the negative self-talk and be more welcoming of self-positvity, please check out the following when you can-
♡ https://www.7cups.com/forum/gratitude/PGProjectsandResources_909/PowerfulListtohelpyouReleaseLimitingBeliefsAchievePositivity_262537/
Long way to go, but you've got your forever #1 with you, every step of the way, so yes, you got thisss!💛
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Thank you for your kind words. Little by little, but I hope I'm getting closer to the best version of me. I'll definitely try out the affirmations!
@SeaLollipop It is hard to change thoughts, especially negative ones, because they are always with you. I have struggled with negative thoughts my whole life and there's no switch to just shut them off. Sometimes it's a chore just to realize it's coming on because its so natural to "hear" the negative thoughts and believe.
Changing negative thoughts is hard. and it takes a lot of work to stop listening, and believing that what the thoughts are saying is true.
Making the choice to have more positive thoughts is the way to start and just everyday working on it. Eventually, I feel like you (and me) will be more positive and not even notice when the change happened. Positive thinking will just be natural, like negative thoughts once were.
@SeaLollipop
I think if you find someone to commiserate with you it may only make things worse because you will keep focusing on the negative. I would encourage and support you. One good thing I noticed is that you do activities that you enjoy. That is definitely a good start.
@OceanBeach777 Thank you for your reply. I agree that finding someone who has the same issue can be bad. Chatting instead of talking might help because I can take some time to think before I type. I hope I can find someone who can channel the empathy to positive energy.
I appreciate your support! My hobbies free my mind and helps me get out of the spiral of negative thoughts!
Hello There, @SeaLollipop Ik that feeling, I've been there too, the best way I've found to deal with that is rely on a support system that helps you see the positives in yourself. Someone who can and will be there regardless of what you're going through, someone who won't judge and someone who will tell you exactly what you need to hear, I got lucky with a few friends of mine who did that for me, and while my self-esteem is still low it is still a lot better than before, I have an understanding of what I'm worth and that helped my confidence by a lot
Hey there @SeaLollipop, I hope you're able to share more in real life, but again remember that everything that's good takes time. When building a friendship with someone it may feel uncertain or you don't know if they're being genuine or not, but trust me when I say IT GETS EASIER, I've become better at making friends and generally get along with everyone, and if you think you've made the right friends, trust me opening up is so much easier. I genuinely wish you good luck on your journey
@combatlist Thank you for your advice. Making friends has never been my strength, but I'll try to be patient and hopeful! I hope your friendship grow even stronger!
Hello @sealollipop,
Sorry to read that. I also know how much it is difficult.
Did you try positive mantras ?
When you wake up, say this : I'm myself and no one else, I am awesome as I am, I deserve love and happiness". Repeat it when criticizing yourself, when psychoanalysing yourself, when waking up, when you go sleeping, when you watch yourself in the mirror, as often as possible.
When you think too much, break it immediately with your mantra.
At first you won't believe it. It's normal. Keep going. Repeat. Again and again.
Your brain will finally believe you and convince you.
Maybe you can search for Anthony Hopkins shorty, where he says something like : the most important word in your life is "believe". Believe and if you don't believe, believe, believe, believe !
Yours, I wish you the best.
@Nevermore1985 I'd heard the word mantra in yoga, but didn't really know what it meant. I've tried saying positive things about myself before, but I guess I never got to the point where I actually believed them. Maybe I should put it on the wall as a reminder, so I'll go through with it. I'll check out the Anthony Hopkins short too. Thank you.
https://youtu.be/6Y9dyPsb4Vg?si=a6zD_QRrStWQlok3
Here you are 🙂
It is ! Old fool men with fool words in a fool world 😁
Well then you found who you were looking for! I have criticaly low self esteem!
Well Im currently more believing everything bad anybody says about me and always comparing myself to others all the time as well. I’m trying to work on my low self esteem but I’m honestly not sure where to start.
My mum got me a jar that she got people to put all the nice things about me in, but I haven’t tout he’d it bcs I know I won’t believe it. But if you want a good strategie I can suggest one that helps for me! I have like a motivation video type thing for when I’m feeling down, a character from an anime I love tells me I am good enough and stuff like that, it helps when your feeling down, because although I rarely believe it, it’s nice to hear from somebody I trust (fictional character😭) yk?
sorry I can’t help more with strategies I can suggest, but those are rly the only two I know of.
Hi @MagnusCh4se I know what it feels like to not being able to believe nice things about yourself. I think it's great that your mother is supporting you, and the jar idea sounds good. Maybe if you keep reading them, you'll start believing them! I'm doing positive affirmations, but I can't say that I believe them either. Just doing them in hopes that one day things start changing!
I can relate to how you can trust fictional characters! There are so many quotes from fictional characters that made me feel better when I was feeling down. I even wrote some of them and put it where I see every day to remember them 😆 I didn't know there were motivational videos. I guess I'm going to go google one for my favorite character! Also, it reminded me how I listen to music with relatable lyrics. It keeps my mind from getting stuck in negative thoughts.
Don't be sorry!! You helped me enough! Thank you for sharing your experience! I really enjoyed reading your reply 🥰 Just remember that you're not the only one suffering! I hope you'll feel better about yourself 😊
@SeaLollipop I used to struggle a lot more with self-criticism when I was in the depths of my last depressive episode, but things have gotten better. I also love reading and knitting.
@SeaLollipop Thanks! It was a combination of things. Since February, I spent 2 months in residential treatment (a traumatizing but somewhat beneficial experience), I learned DBT skills, we adjusted my medications, I moved to an apartment where I got more sunlight and was less isolated, etc.
I read mostly nonfiction related to psychology and stuff, but I think it would be good for me to read more fiction.
@katgoa Wow, it sounds you're working really hard to get better. Congratulations on moving to a new apartment! It's really amazing that you did all those things! I'm too scared to even go see a therapist. You don't have to answer this if it's too personal, but was your family supportive? My family doesn't believe in mental health as much as I do, and I'm hesitant to tell them about my mental health issues.
I read non-fiction books that help my mental health too. Lately, I'm interested in learning how the brain works and stuff like that.
@SeaLollipop i can relate to that. I don't react well to criticism at all, it shatters my sense of self and makes me question whether I'm a good person. I make impulsive decisions and it affects my relationships,, both platonic and romantic. As of today, I'm trying to fix it, but I know it's going to be a long journey before I can feel confident and regain the love and trust of those I've hurt.
It's cool that you knit, BTW. I crochet!
Hi @lightZebra2615 It's nice to find someone who can relate. I don't react well to criticism either. Whenever someone criticizes me, even if it's not personal or they didn't mean to hurt me, it feels like my whole existence is being denied. I also feel like that when someone has a different opinion from mine. In my head, I'm fully aware that it's not personal and two people with different opinions and can still respect each other and get along. But in reality, I take it too personal and feel offended. I'm trying to work on that.
I hope you keep getting better, start feeling more confident, and will repair your relationships!
I actually crochet too! (didn't write it 'cause I thought it'd be too many hobbies, lol)
@SeaLollipop You are so brave to start medication and journaling, not to mention being here! It can be the scariest thing in the world when you start trying to help yourself... at least it was for me because the self I was trying to help was also the self that's my worst bully. All that to say, yours is a journey that doesn't end here. You are worth all this and more. You've got this.
@SeaLollipop that’s what u always do my dad doesn’t love me he has an awful way showing it