Being Inclusive as a 7 Cups Community
Hey there everyone! A few days ago I wrote a post for the LGBTQ+/MOGII community about being an inclusive community. The responses to that, along with Laura's recent post about treating the CM team with repsect, have led me to consider the ways in which we can all be more inclusive of each other as a 7 cups community.
✮ The Benefits of an Inclusive Community ✮
When a community is considerate of others within it, it leads to a more inclusive environment where everyone's opinion is heard! This allows developments to move forward in the most beneficial way, with everyone aware of what's happening and everyone's concerns being weighed equally.
Communities that are inclusive of one another lead to diverse connections and ideas, and despite the fact that these ideas can conflict sometimes, they lead to a broader world view and more open minds.
✮ What Makes for an Inclusive Community ✮
Everyone within a community must contibute in order for it to be inclusive. We all make up this community, and therefore it takes a combined effort to make it inclusive! An inclusive community is also open to welcoming others and discussing conflicts and issues together in a respectful manner to resolve them.
Inclusive communities also come together for positive things! These can be bonding activities, celebrating achievements, or other fun events. The aim should be for positive interactions to overpower the negative - when someone thinks of the community they should think of the fun experiences they've had, as opposed to the conflict they have experienced.
✮ How This Applies to 7 Cups ✮
As a 7 Cups community, we often need to reflect on who makes up the community, and where our focuses lie. I believe that as listeners, we often focus too much on our projects and teams rather than the reason we do them - for the members! Members on this site have valuable opinions for site changes that often aren't heard - while listeners and, more specifically leaders get a range of meetings, members often do not. This can also lead to non-leaders feeling as if they haven't been listened to.
On the other hand, in regards to the positive environment I talked about - we can certainly focus more on this! 7 Cups is there as a support system, and therefore we should be aiming to create as many positive experiences as we can. We can do this through games, events, and celebrating the achievements of others. The Holiday High Five Live was an excellent example of this! However, the CMs don't have to get involved every time we celebrate each other - we can do that ourselves! Every person here has the capacity to make others feel more included and appreciated here on 7 cups.
✮ What We Can Do Today ✮
Resolving issues and meetings is a bigger problem that will take time to sort out, so what we can do today is make a conscious effort to include each other! Right now, you can hop into group support, forums, feed or pms and tell a member or listener that you appreciate them for something. Be genuine! Maybe they brought a positive atmosphere to the forums, maybe you saw they got a positive review, or maybe you laughed at something in their bio. A simple interaction can turn into a friendship, and the more friendships we create within the community, the more inclusive we can be as a whole!
✮ So now I have a few questions for you... ✮
1. What's something you learnt from this post?
2. What does being inclusive mean to you, and how does that apply to 7 Cups?
3. What is something you can do right now to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
4. What can we all do in the long term to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
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@PhoenixAsh <3 love ya ash and great post
@Matty21 Thanks! I'm glad you liked the post ^-^
@PhoenixAsh wow Karina, this is a great post, I loved it and I loved how to took the ideas from both, our LGBTQ+ post and Laura post and made the best of it! You are awesome 
Here is my two cents (yep, now I love this expression hehe 
) :
1. What's something you learnt from this post?
Firstly, I learnt that @Laura made a post, I believe that I managed to skip it somehow, HOW? 
I also learnt that is is pretty easy to be inclusive and every of us can do something about it, but at the same time we all need to work as a community to ensure the inclusivity everywhere in the site
2. What does being inclusive mean to you, and how does that apply to 7 Cups?
For me, being inclusive is being able to accept every group of people and every person in our community and in our family, no matter what their background is. It applies not only on forums, but also in group support and even in 1-1 conversations. When we are giving away our prejudices and start being more open up, it is more easier to understand each other and to support each other!
How does that apply for 7Cups? It can be hard to be in such an diverse community, because we are a place that connects people from different countries, from different backgrounds. It is not possible to ensure that we are on the same boat but it is pretty important to ensure that we are able to accept everyone and see them as a person at first, not as their background
3. What is something you can do right now to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
I believe that you made a great points there, we can go in the place we usually spend time and to appreciate others, be able to accept people. Me as a person right now, I can go to LGBTQ+ forums and be supportive in discussions and in our daily threads. Just simple steps, when we all make them, we can change everything!
4. What can we all do in the long term to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
I believe that having discussions like this as well as pointing it in meetings and new listeners training can be very useful. It is important to discuss and never forget that every of us make this site awesome. And also, as a leaders or as listeners, I believe we should remind people to be supporitve and inclusive as well as show our example so people can follow us
@RaCat "It is not possible to ensure that we are on the same boat but it is pretty important to ensure that we are able to accept everyone and see them as a person at first, not as their background"
Love that statement. One of the best things about this site is that we come from everywhere and we have such a diverse community from all over the world! It's impossible for everyone to agree about everything, but celebrating our differences and being able to go with the flow sometimes and accepting differing beliefs is important.
@RaCat Thanks for your response! I love all your answers, and appreciate the thought you put into them ^-^ Kate stole the exact thing I was gonna say! 
Although I also have to point out this sentence before it, which summed up really well something that I was trying to convey: "When we are giving away our prejudices and start being more open up, it is more easier to understand each other and to support each other!" I absolutely agree, and I think 7 Cups is an amazingly safe and supportive place to foster those relationships!
I also agree that we can set an example to be inclusive for others to follow us - whether we're a leader or not we can show others what an inclusive community looks like :o
Hi Karina! I like much of what you have said here—for example:
Communities that are inclusive of one another lead to diverse connections and ideas, and despite the fact that these ideas can conflict sometimes, they lead to a broader world view and more open minds.
But 7 Cups was never meant to be that kind of community. It was designed from Day 1 to be a place where there are some things you literally cannot say. All our chats are subject to automated censorship, and all our forums are subject to human moderation.
If you buy a newspaper or go to a news website, and take note of the most significant conflicts of ideas in the world today, you're unlikely to find any of those ideas expressed within 7 Cups. Our community was simply never designed for that.
Even if you read an international journal of mental health, or a mental health website for professionals, and take note of the most significant conflicts of ideas in the field of mental health today, you're unlikely to find any of those ideas expressed within 7 Cups. Our community was simply never designed for that either. We even keep our listeners and therapists apart in separate forums.
So, while it sounds nice to talk about being inclusive, I don't think being inclusive was ever a priority at 7 Cups. It's not mentioned anywhere in the 7 Cups Culture Guide, for example. Maybe, now that we have come this far, we should change and become genuinely inclusive, or maybe if we do that we will only introduce more conflict—I'm not sure.
@RarelyCharlie - hmm, interesting parsing of the words, but I do see this:
We Believe in Equality
At 7 Cups, we believe that every single person is valuable. In the world of 7 Cups, every person is treated with equal respect, enjoys equal freedom, and equal rights irrespective of the gender orientation, race, religion, or any other difference. We embrace diversity and consider it key in bringing varied perspectives and solutions to difficult problems.
I agree, we do believe in equality, in the world of 7 Cups. But that phrase "in the world of 7 Cups" excludes people who are not in our world at 7 Cups. Parsing of words is indeed interesting
For example, just a few days ago I happened to be talking to someone we excluded. She had come to 7 Cups hoping to talk something through anonymously, but her perception was that we required her e-mail address, and she didn't feel that was the kind of anonymous she was expecting. I know it's not actually true that we require an e-mail address, because I often chat to guests, but that's what she told me her perception was.
So we excluded her by somehow creating that perception. If she had entered our world she would, I hope, have experienced equality, but she didn't experience inclusion.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
@RarelyCharlie - good points. it's true that making this site work requires balancing sometimes goods that in tension with each other, and that anonymity has a thousand layers. getting it exactly right for everyone is the ultimate dream.
I'd say your parsing is mildly ungenerous. We cannot speak for the rest of the world.
@RarelyCharlie Hey there, thanks for your response! Firstly I just have to say: your knowledge of 7 Cups and its guides never fails to astound me (having also seen you around elsewhere in the forums), thanks for bringing this knowledge into the discussion!
Personally, I think on 7 Cups we experience conflict - to an extent. I don't believe we'll ever experience conflicts on the same level as mainstream media or even mental health journals (although, on that point I could be biased from a teen's perspective - I can't see anyone on teen side being bothered to chat about mental health journals). Despite that, from my own experiences I have seen conflict on 7 Cups fairly often - whether that's due to sexuality, gender, culture, or simple clashing of opinions. Often, things escalate, and in those instances we generally see that moderation is involved, however I've also seen conflict where things are resolved and someone learns something of it.
I speak quite personally as I'm involved a lot in the LGBTQ+/MOGII community, and there I've experienced a lot of people come in with prejudices and then learn more and broadened their view of the community - which is also something that I've experienced in real life.
So, I suppose the point I'm getting to is that conflicts don't always have to be major for people to learn from them. No, 7 Cups will never become a big debate site - I somewhat doubt that conflict that far would even encourage inclusivity. However, there is a healthy level of conflict which can even be seen now, and I do think that if we can handle that in the right way, it can make the site a more inclusive place as a whole.
Oh, I agree that conflicts don't always have to be major, and we should definitely aim to have a healthy level of conflict here and handle it in the right way.
But I've been thinking about what I wrote before, which I ended in some inner confusion. After thinking about it I'd now say I think of 7 Cups primarily as a place where people can come for emotional support. My first priority is the quality of emotional support we can provide. The people who are my priority are not coming here in order to have a broader world view and more open minds.
Well, we do have many people here who perhaps no longer need so much emotional support right now, and who have spoons to spare for broadening their world view and becoming more open-minded, and that's great, but it's not my priority. And I don't think it was originally 7 Cups' priority either.
So I'm really suggesting that we have two (at least) good things here. We have emotional support, which is good. And we have inclusivity, which is good. But our priority has been emotional support, which demands we restrict inclusivity in order to protect emotionally vulnerable people from conflict.
If we make inclusivity our priority, I think that would be a big change. I think it would be difficult to provide such good emotional support in that environment. A website dedicated to broadening people's world view and making their minds more open is not the kind of place anyone would want to join when they're feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Perhaps I'm getting this out of proportion, though. I certainly don't reject the idea of inclusivity. Maybe we can strive to be more inclusive without making it a big deal. Maybe we can simply ask ourselves, "Who are we excluding?" "What kind of people don't come to 7 Cups at all, and why?" "What kind of people come here and leave again without their needs being met, and why?"
@PhoenixAsh
@RarelyCharlie You answered yourself with pretty much what I was about to say in your last paragraph... I certainly think that emotional support should be our top priority, however I think we can also increase our inclusivity without losing that, as long as we keep focused on both of these goals. I also think that as we become more inclusive as a community we can provide better community-based support for those who prefer that to 1 on 1 chats. Overall I think it's all about balance, really.
@PhoenixAsh Beautiful and 100% agreed
@Kate Thanks Kate!
I just looked up the definition of inclusive and omg it's so confusing. Its not what I thought it meant XDXD so I learned that inclusive according to google means to cover all subjects, idek :') when I think about inclusive I think more about including people than subjects
This post taught me that maybe people have different definitions for the meaning of inclusive so i will try to understand their perspectives
When I think of 7cups, I think that it's a inclusive community because it's a no judgement zone. Everyone can join and participate if you follow the community guidelines and culture
I think feeling like you belong though is different for every person. Sometimes you feel like you fit in and maybe some people are better at fitting in right away than other people. So I see inclusiveness as helping all members, guests, and listeners feel like they belong to the 7cups community. Because I am really into sports, I like sports quotes like this one "a team is only as good as it weakest link" So sometimes you feel like maybe people don't help the community so much, but it's better to show them kindness and reach out to them to make the community stronger instead of excluding them. If they feel included then more people will partipate and the community will be stronge. So in my opinion, inclusiveness makes communities better. Everyone is important to for the process of making 7cups a cool space to be. If everyone was the same, it would be super boring <3
So inclusiveness to me means accepting everyone's uniqueness because like everyone adds something special to 7cups
Awesome post karina <3
@summertimeSamness Oddly enough, I didn't google the term 'inclusive' while making this post (though I did do some research on inclusive communities). I think the term can be classified in a number of ways, and applying it to a community moreso refers to people than objects. I like that you see 7 Cups as a no judgement zone - I have seen judgement here, although ideally of course I think it's a place that should be judgement-free. What interests me about what you said here though is that you can join as long as you follow the culture - could you please explain what you mean by that? :3
I absolutely agree with your next statement:
"I think feeling like you belong though is different for every person. Sometimes you feel like you fit in and maybe some people are better at fitting in right away than other people. So I see inclusiveness as helping all members, guests, and listeners feel like they belong to the 7cups community."
That's something that I think we're slowly improving here as our community grows larger - there's a different way to include everyone because everyone is an individual. I also agree that inclusiveness makes communities stronger (well, I suppose, that was why I made this post in the first place) and I think everyone's uniqueness can bring something new and interesting here.
I'm glad you like the post, and thanks for sharing your response ^-^
@PhoenixAsh
By that I mean everyone can join 7cups but you have to follow the rules. If someone is hurting other people then they have to leave the community. Because 7cups have a kindness and supportive culture. You get feedback on how to grow though and you get second chances to take accountability and follow the culture
@summertimeSamness Oh right I get what you mean! The culture is part of what adds to the positive and inclusive environment at 7 Cups, and it's good that we're always given the chance to learn from our actions c:
1. What's something you learnt from this post?
I learned that everyone can have different perspectives about what would make them feel included. I love that you spoke of diversity and how it can impact it can have on being inclusive. For me, as someone that has lived most of her life in a small island that literally was culturally "born" from the mixture of other cultures, being diverse is not only in my DNA but in embracing all that makes us different and connecting under the same values and culture.
2. What does being inclusive mean to you, and how does that apply to 7 Cups?
Being inclusive means being open minded, welcoming and embracing diversity. It applies to 7 Cups because 7 cups is a place of acceptance and suport, and in order to actually be successful in being a suportive place for everyone we need to be accepting and inclusive towards everyone!
3. What is something you can do right now to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
I can go out of my way to make sure I make everyone I meet feels welcomed, accepted and supported.
4. What can we all do in the long term to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
We could be more deliberate about being inclusive! Make it a part of our culture and day to day activity.
@Iara Thanks for joining the discussion! ^-^
I especially love what you said here, "7 cups is a place of acceptance and suport, and in order to actually be successful in being a suportive place for everyone we need to be accepting and inclusive towards everyone!"
I absolutely agree! We all have a part to play in making 7 cups a supportive place, and we can do that by being inclusive of everyone, no matter their background.! I also love how this ties into your final point about making inclusivity a part of our culture, I think that plays a big part in spreading it throughout the whole site!
@PhoenixAsh
Hi Ash :)
1. What's something you learnt from this post?
I learned that we can be more inclusive
2. What does being inclusive mean to you, and how does that apply to 7 Cups?
to me, being inclusive is generally not being exclusive. Always trying to word things in a way that would be comfortable for everyone and never singling anyone out. Ex: in the chatrooms, in the forums, in the group support rooms.
3. What is something you can do right now to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
Actually host my forum meetings... everyone on the forum team probably feels left out on what's going on since it's been a couple months.
4. What can we all do in the long term to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
Being self-aware is probably the best thing we can all do. It's hard to adjust behavior if you don't even know what your behavior is
@MonBon Hey Mon! Thanks for joining the discussion :)
I like what you've said about working to word things in a way that includes everyone - I think that's really important with the broad and diverse community that we have here at 7 Cups! I also think that being self-aware is incredibly important - if everyone in a community works on knowing what we're doing and how we can change that to be more inclusive, it allows a community to continue growing and evolving into an even better place.
1. What's something you learnt from this post?
I learned how many people here have great thoughts to share on inclusivity :)
2. What does being inclusive mean to you, and how does that apply to 7 Cups?
To me, inclusivity goes past not being exclusive and requires actively including people. This means making the effort to go past those you normally connect with and welcoming others into the discussion in group support, recognizing newcomers to the forums and responding in a welcoming and supportive fashion, helping newbies find their way around, etc. Not being exclusive is a good start, but feeling generally ignored even if it's not hostile can still hurt if you're new, so going that extra step is key.
3. What is something you can do right now to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
I can catch up on the ED welcome thread that I am a couple weeks behind on to welcome newcomers to that community!
4. What can we all do in the long term to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
We can to learn and grow about how to keep our discussions (formal or informal) inclusive and remember the perspective of what it feels like to be new and not know people. And perhaps most importantly, go past the golden rule (treat others how YOU would like to be treated) and focus on the platinum rule (treat others how THEY would like to be treated) to acknowledge that we all have different needs and by recognizing our differences and appreciating them, we can grow further than by trying to make everyone be the same.
@Anomalia I've also learned about so many different views of inclusivity - it's really interesting to see the different ideas people have to achieve it! I think that extra step is pretty important too - it can be easy not to feel included, especially in a new environment where you don't know how to act. Having someone there to be inclusive of everyone can really support newcomers in finding their feet here and making new friendships and support systems.
I love how you've mentioned both formal and informal discussions here - I think during informal discussions such as events and games nights, it can be easy to fall into the comfort of interacting mainly with friends, and we forget to include any newcomers! Keeping focus on that is really important. Also, I've never heard of the platinum rule before but I absolutely unequivocally agree with it. Everyone is an individual, and would like to be treated in a different way - of course that's not something that we'll know straight away, but it's something we can aim to learn with every interaction we have here. I think we should celebrate our differences, they can even bring us closer together!
All aboutabout the experience!
Well 7cupsoftea is definitely a cool place to train yourself in becoming a well trained listener. Only thing is some people are quite disturbing with their words while some others have a darker side to talk about, its quite challenging at times! But definitely a great tutorial in order to cultivate patience and compassion!
@Hashlustre Certainly, some chats can be tough! There's are so many skills to learn here in a lot of aspects, and I'm glad you enjoyed this post in terms of its cultivation of patience and compassion ^-^ The journey we take here is a big part of our learning experience in a lot of ways!
@PhoenixAsh Heyo Karina, you've put a lot of details in this post which highlights the essence of inclusivity! Great work!
1. What's something you learnt from this post?
I learnt that it's very essential for the community to practice inclusivity. It's the foundation of a diverse community where it plays an important role in making the community intact and not aloof.
2. What does being inclusive mean to you, and how does that apply to 7 Cups?
Being inclusive is when we're trying to acknowledge the differences between people, culture, beliefs, and opinions. It's being applied to 7cups because this community should be a non-judgmental and an accepting neighborhood. We can be who we are and we don't have to pretend, as long as being ourselves wouldn't harm the welfare of the entire community. However, being inclusive mustn't condone cliques!
3. What is something you can do right now to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
I'd spend more time in the rooms and making sure that newbies would find their way to get along with the regulars and feel like they're welcome to be part of the community!
4. What can we all do in the long term to make 7 Cups more inclusive?
Respect one another.
@Erato
Great all very true
@bubblegumPuppy68 hehe thankies, bubblegum! 🤗
@Erato Thanks for joining the discussion Era ^-^
I loveee what you've said here "It's the foundation of a diverse community where it plays an important role in making the community intact and not aloof." It's really well worded, and sums up a lot of what I was trying to convey here! I certainly agree that 7 Cups of all places should be non-judgemental and accepting, everyone's individuality is part of what makes this community so great! I also like how you've pointed out that this shouldn't condone cliques! It's important to be inclusive of everyone, not just the people that you know well and have formed friendships with. I love your last answer too! It's short, sweet and simple enough to apply to every aspect in our community.
@PhoenixAsh
(can i just say that i love how supportive and kind this is, it's a really warm post and very accepting too which is amazing!!)
