One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}
Just... blurt it out! Don't be nervous! Make your secrets not so secret....
There are alot of things I never told. I will never tell. I will tell a therapist perhaps.. Ive burried and wiped and cared for my most beloved angels who loved me more than they loved themselves. 3 people I cared for in death. I have 3 more to go. I have sick regrets. I guess I never told anyone its my fault. My lack of character. My ease at slipping into forgetfulnes.(never missed one pill though) I have admitted the problem is caused by myself and me alone. Plus sickess and disease and things I can not stop no matter how hard I study or pray. (study someday you kids will squash it) Think of the word... dis-ease. Not funny. I cared for them but I wished it away. Im like no this is NOT HAPPENING. Never looked it in the face said THIS IS REAL.If I knew it was real maybe I would have had talks with them.. I did with my mom a little just a tiny bit. Now Im going through her papers on how to be strong 4 years later...She was strong. She was beautiful. I have genes and irrational instincts and fears that must be faced. Im tired. After a half or more of a lifetime Im spent. Ive said I am to weak I cant keep fighting against the tide anymore. One moment of giving up means back to square one. I think I have admitted everything. Im weak I'm tired Im spent. But Im still hopeful.. Hanging on with one finger. I admit this is a horrible place to be and the only way out is to fight hard. What if I cant fight? KO. I admit I am FAILING but stil trying somehow.. weak effort but still trying ... thats my secret: Im giving weak effort cause Im exhausted...
@goldenBalsam6819
Hey, weak effort is still effort. Great job!
What you said about bereavements and accepting them as real, that resonated with me. There's so many things I wish I'd said to people that I've now lost, and it's too late. It's not nice living life with regrets, so I now try to be more open and honest with people I love, including myself. I shan't be here forever, and I'm determined now to make the best of what I've got.
So great effort dear friend, live and learn. In the good times you can be there to look after others, to live, to love, to laugh. In harder times, keep that effort focused on yourself. But never be afraid to share and reach out for help.
we all need help, so a weak effort everyday translate to a lot in a matter of days.
I'm smart. :x
I was raped last year at camp
@Helloitsaldi I am sorry you had to go through that ...hugs ❤
@Helloitsaldi I'm sorry you had go through that. Jesus loves you and you didn't deserve that please don't blame yourself. Take one day at a time when healing
@Helloitsaldi that is terrible. No one has the right to do that to you, please do let someone know like a councilor, so that you can process what happened and go forth. It needs to be dealt with and not ignored. When we internalize things they get a lot worse. I know from experience, it's much more difficult to solve in later years.
That I write poetry ....
I'm constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing.
@catali853 so am I and a few others,
I'm not always as confident as I make myself seem
@Melody293 it's better to look confident than to look not confident.
@Melody293
by pretending it, you become it
there is a video on youtube about those confidence positions and mindset , its a ted talk with a women psychologist if i remember well; it helped me much!!
Good luck
When I feel sad, it helps me to help other people. I'm a people pleaser, so it helps.
@RainBroDashMLP sames!
Just because on the outside I look like my life is going great, on the inside I am going through hell.
I understand what you mean. I feel exactly like you and I don't know how to change!
I hate the way I look
I suspect that my 12 yr old son may not really be my son. So now have to get a dna test done to put my mind at rest. An I found out my soon to be ex had a 3 month affair with her sisters husband. Just as we met, she stopped it i think, but I could not deal with know it when I was around that family gatherings an they acted like it was nothing, but I was told to keep it quiet as it was over. I should have never married her, but I love my kids so now I am stuck with a divorce in works an a cheating soon to be ex wife. I wil, never trust another woman ever again.
@understandingBeechwood1287
No one should ever have to go through this and there are good people in this world. Don't let this situation make you bitter.
