One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}
Just... blurt it out! Don't be nervous! Make your secrets not so secret....
I have never told anyone that I think about hurting myself. I never tell anyone whats wrong. I keep everything inside because I just feel unwanted and that everyone would be better off without me.
@samd136
At the risk of sounding like a stalker, from your feed it's obvious you have some strong family ties there. They love you and need you, their life is better for having you in it. It can be so hard to open up to people about how you're feeling, so well done for saying it here. Now I wonder if you can consider who you have around you that you could open up to? Because you can be certain that those close to you will want to understand what's going on in your life, and want to be there for you when you need support. You don't have to suffer in silence.
@DeborahUK
Thank you that's very nice
@samd136 -- As a survior of suicide, my choices aren't consumed in what life I had or what life I can have -- It soley comes from where my heart resides from. Explore yourself. Think of that every tear is a march of your fight +
@Imaginethestrength
Thank you!! <3
I think I've missed out on something vital from having a dysfunctional relationship with my dad, I often think I'd be so different if I had a stable, unconditional loving dad, older men seem strange to me a bit and I'll be honest I don't understand a father-daughter relationship in the slightest! I tell people I don't care and it was what it was, but it makes me so sad not knowing what I could have been
This sounds really hard for you @LittleSpud
Especially with parents, well we're told they should love us unconditionally, be there for us, be trustworthy, reliable, loving and safe. And when they're not, that can be crushing. It can be confusing. And it can be painful.
Who of us have never wished things could be different at some point in our life? Very few I imagine. Sad truth is though, none of us can change the past....but we can change the way we think of it. And we can change the way it shapes our future.
If we think of our life as a learning curve, you have learnt things from your dad. Maybe more about ways NOT to behave, but they're still valuable lessons. You've learnt about empathy and compassion for others who have survived dysfunctional relationships. You've learnt about mistakes you know not to make yourself, for your dad was responsible for his behaviour, not you. He was the adult, you the child.
No, these lessons don't replace that lost relationship, but they can be viewed positively, valuable lessons that make you the unique individual you are. More fool your dad for missing out on a relationship with his very special daughter.
@Laura I wish I was her.
One thing I have never told anyone is that I want to die, wouldn't want to kill myself. I just don't want to excist anymore
I wish I could consider myself a polygot. I try to study languages but after a whole year, I still don't know a whole lot of French, and I want to study more languages. I don't know how I'll do it.
I feel unsatisfied with all the work that I do because I never feel complete...
That i love my parents a lot and can do everything for them..yes i've never told this to them but i truley do... 😞
Whenever I feel bored, I compose stories in my mind. Different adventerous stories just like small kids. It makes me feel very relaxed.
@Laura that i secretly want to be a police officer... :) they are so AMAZING and they help alot of people and get paid good money lol aha but yeh they seriously are legit legends <3
That I am bad at math not normal bad really bad I can't count to 1000 and I don't know 8x8 I can't learn it I think it is cause something emotional happened in my past and I am blocked and I am death serious and ashamed of myself I never told that anyone not even my teacher only my family knows that and I am in a normal school
(And) I hate my dad and wished that he would disappear from my life and break up with my mom once I even dreamed that I killed him I woke up cried and thought that I am a bad person
