One thing I have never told anyone is....[finish this sentence}
Just... blurt it out! Don't be nervous! Make your secrets not so secret....
I have never called anyone the n word.
@Theresalwaystomorrow
thats good
I missed my bestfriend. But we havent meet yet for years cus of our last problem. I dont know if she ever think about me nowadays
I get anxious about sending emails, i can spend hours and even days deciding if I should or should not send it.
@reservedexcitment am I the only one with this issue?
@reservedexcitment I get that exact same feeling!! It's terrible..
I am a dreamer. Extreme.
well i know im not the only one @pinkTea
i have hurt and pushed away everyone in my life so that no-one is there to feel sorry for me while i self destruct
I fake that I'm confident, I feel very depressed and struggle with suicidal thoughts sometimes as well as self harm
@Desie17
I know how you feel, it's hard being open to others especially if your not sure if they would judge you for who you really are. I often feel that way about my family that's why I keep them at arm's length. Sometimes it feels like I'm two different people, the person that my family sees and the real me. The person that I am when their not looking. Growing up in a big family often feels claustrophobic to me. I hope that this helps knowing that your not alone and other people feel like this too I've had thoughts of self harm but that never does any good. Just keep your head up because no matter how bad things are they usually get better.
@lynsay31 thank you so much for responding. It means so much. I'm happy to know I'm not alone in this
@Desie17 that is me, everyday! You are in a lot more company than you can imagine.
It is quite absurd to me how people think I am very confident, friendly and social, but can't tell them how terrified I am because they look to me for strength, can't break that image for them. Sometimes I want to run away but rather I fake confidence as that is what the situation calls for.
I've learned I need to accept my suicidal thoughts. They will come and pester me but what they are really saying is that I am overwhelmed, not that I need to die. It means that I don't like what I am doing or I am uncomfortable. When I realize that, it helps in some cases. Other cases, I just need to ride that rollercoaster. :( And hope for the best.
@reservedexcitment thank you for your reply and what I think you're right. The suicidal thought don't mean that I need to die it means that I'm overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the situation. I've actually never thought of it like that. Thanks for that perspective and I hope your having a good day :)
@Desie17 well, I'm glad you shared your secret, gave me the opportunity to impart what I've learned. :)
Nope, not doing well today, but that's okay, as I am managing my actions and accepting my emotions as unwanted visitors that come and go as they please.
@reservedexcitment wow, i feel the same way
Wow that is a deep question because there are many secrets that I've never told anyone in my life. I do consistently write it down anonymously though like this. I'm not sure what is worse never speaking up or speaking up and having people pretend that it never happened.
One thing I have never told anyone out loud is while it's true that I've never had sex with another person; I do masterbate. I feel gross and dirty afterwards but in that moment it's the only time that I've ever felt alive. Is it wrong to continue to do this?
its ok me too and i have dreams all the time @lynsay31
I abuse benadryl to hallucinate
I have a poor addiction and always loved taking nude pics. I enjoy phone sex and cam. i have always been this way i dont know why.
My life feels like a big nightmare that I can't wake up from, an everything I try to tell my self to feel better is just a lie. I have to more on with my life without my wife an let her go in my mind. But deep down i don't want to. Yet I have to as it is just killing me. I want to feel love again an need to have someone yet i no matter who I just Sabato get anyone who gets close or could want to get close to me. I fear new things an change is something that is really difficult. Life with anyone else feels like I gave up on her when if fact she gave up on me long time ago. But again I think nobody really would want me anyway. Nice guys an honest guys are not what a woman wants. They don't want someone that is good, they only want someone bad an macho an is a jerks to them. Not a nice guy, or a good dad for his kids.
@understandingBeechwood1287
Hi, unfortunately that is usually true about women, they often pick the wrong men and think that they could change them but that's only wishful thinking. It's almost like women like men that abuse them in some way. It's weird, I am a woman but I don't understand them any better than men do. You should look at it this way at least you had someone at one point in your life. I've never had any type of relationship with anyone. I'm not homosexual either, which my family thinks all the time. I've merely waited to fall in love but I'm almost 40 and I have my doubts that it's going to happen. Even if I were to meet him tomorrow, I'm not sure if I would be able to connect with him or anyone sexually or emotionally. The reasoning behind this is because of the traumatic experiences in my childhood. I was molested by a friend of the family and ever since then I've had trouble letting any man touch me in anyway. I just freeze up in social situations and that's why I am an almost 40 year old virgin. It's also why I think that it's better to have loved and lost because this often leaves people with beautiful children; which I will probably never have. That's something that you can never regret right?
@understandingBeechwood1287
Nope, women want nice guys, not macho guys, who are stinky, loud, inconsiderate or rude. One's that are thoughtful. It's difficult to find good guys.
I do understand about trying to move one, i brushed off a guy and made up an excuse, he is a nice guy, but that's because, I was still hurting from this guy i knew for a year and was about to propose but died during a routine surgery. So I messaged the guy back but he hasn't replied, don't knkw what to do now. I screwed up my chance of maybe moving on because I am still griving.