What question are you most scared of asking, and why?

I don't think many people are afraid of asking, we're afraid of the answer.

I'd have to say "Why me?", because perhaps there's no one else to blame but myself.

I do know of a question which is really scary: Do you feel that you might want to commit suicide? Because if the answer is "Yes", then you know of the person's intentions and the responsibility is on you to take the responsible next step. It is a very scary responsibility

Am I doing the wrong thing with my life?

With any path, there are obstacles. As difficulty escalatesand becomes more daunting, more stressful, I find myself feeling doubtful:perhaps I'm not cut out for this challenge ? perhaps I should stop and choose another path.

The scariest questions I've asked myself, as gently as possible, are:

- What path are my skills best suited for?

- Are my weaknesses too pervasiveinthe path I've chosen?

- Have I hinged my identity on something I mayfail at?

- Is my lifestyle 'bad' and/orunhealthy?

- Would I be happier taking another path?

- How importantis it for me to feel 'happy' in life, immediately, compared to striving for 'meaning' or 'purpose' in the long run,that there's no guarantee I'll achieve?

Of course, thebig scary questionhiding behind those gentle valid ones is:

- HaveI made a huge mistake in how I've spent my time, my life ? am I unable tohandle whatIset myself up for?

Fear of the answer tothat question kept me from reaching out for help when I really needed it. I compared myself to others and thought if they knew my true feelings and concerns, they would think I was too weak and incompetent for my lifestyle. I was afraid of letting myself and others down.

I was terrified someone (an employer, mentor, friend, family memberor medical professional) would recognize my depression and anxieties andsay, 'You shouldn't be doing this [project, career, lifestyle]. You should do something less stressful, like [easier path].'

So I hid my stressuntil it overwhelmed me.

Regardless of the answer to my scariest question, hiding from it certainly did not help me. It made it harder for me to function successfully, it made me distrust myself, and it made me feel alone.

I isolated myself because what I do, and how I live, is so deeply important to me that the thought of being told that I shouldn't orcan't do it anymore was simply too horrific and heartbreaking for me to stomach. When the going got rough, my doubts took over;I accused myself of being in denial,an accidental but stubbornimpostor who earned false confidence from all who believed in her.I felt terrible.

Eventually, I broke my silence and reached out forHELP ? and I was surprised by thereaction and support I receivedfrom the people whose perspective frightenedme the most. They said they have struggledwith these challenges and coped with these feelings, too. They said,"Don't despair!"

I think everyone has fears and anxiety, even us as listeners. I've recently been faced with realizing that I won't have my parents forever. My mom was faced with a very serious surgery. She pulled through and did great but the whole ordeal made me face that my parents are aging. I guess my question is how do I handle my role of being the disabled and sickly child being reversed with my elderly parents facing numerous health issues.

Was it my fault?

Because my biggest fear is someone saying yes and confirming that it was my fault. When I am desperatelytrying to believe that maybe it wasn't.

"Am I doing alright?"

It's not always 100% that the answer's yes, and I don't know what I'd do to fix it.

"what do you feel about me?" because maybe someone give an answer I don't want to listen to.

"Do you still love me?" I've been afraid of asking that question inso many different situations. Most recently, I heard the answer I never wanted to.

It's true though, that it's not the question that scarespeople. It's the answer.

I am not so sure if a question is really what we fear most but rather a reality that we fear even more. As some have already mentioned in this forum we fear the truth thus we may not ask the question, however in doing so we are keen to ask the question to others whom we perceive as like minded. For example, if I wanted to buy a huge 4X4 truck, all decked out I would certainly not ask a financial advisor if it is a wise choice of vehicle. I already know the purchase of such a vehicle for transportation will erode my finances quickly so to justify the purchase I ask those whom I am more likely to receive positive feedback from or who will help to validate my choice.

In doing this are we acting in a rational manner, is this healthy choice, if it is not then what can we do to change it? In this we find again that we are not comfortable with reality and to sooth our emotions we seek comfort with like minded company.

Thought?

v/r

Al D?Adda

- I have feelings for you, are we speaking the same here?

- Why do I react like that?