New here
Hi there, I am new here and seeking support. I recently left what I felt was an emotionally abusive relationship. I feel strong and weak all at the same time right now. I struggle more some days than others but today particularly has been a struggle too. I'm not really sure who I can talk to and hope to find some support.
@neatTangerine4546 It's a pleasure to meet you. I too am new to the site and am really enjoying it so far. The support here has been outstanding and I hope it will be for yourself as well. I'm sorry to hear about your recent break up. I can't imagine what your are going through. Do you mind if I ask what happened?
@hussjrt - it's honestly kind of hard to summarize enough to fit in one post. But I was married and my husband was controlling, everything from who I was allowed to talk to and when I was able to talk to them and what I was able to share with them to criticizing everything that I did. It was exhausting and draining feeling like I never did anything right because he would correct me on everything. Everything from the way I did dishes to the way I would drive. One day he would criticize me for driving like a grandma and being aggressive enough, then for driving to aggressive. He wouldn't let me cook and would sometimes help with a lot of chores but after would make me feel guilty that he had done so like I was a terrible person and he was this hero for having done chores that needed to get done and I owed him now. I started to recognize how badly these behaviors were affecting me and started to reach out to a therapist and he told me he didn't want me going. I remember telling myself I was so hurt but couldn't even imagine myself leaving him. I struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide because I just felt like I had no escape. Over the next year , he struggled with addictions of his own and I slowly emotionally detached myself from the relationship. I started to resist his commands and spoke up about certain struggles to a selective few people. Eventually I got to a place where I said I was done and moved out with my parents. Now I'm trying to move on
@neatTangerine4546 I'm so sorry to hear you had gone through all that. No one deserves to be treated the way your husband was treating you. I can't even imagine how exhausting living your life like that was. To not have a say in your own life and to be controlled like a puppet. The best thing you could have done was reach out to therapist and talk to people about it. The worst thing someone can do when something like this is happening is to keep it all bottled up. Had you not seeked help, the depression and suicidal thoughts would have gotten worse. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and believe that him struggling with his addictions was the perfect time for you to detach. I'm glad you started to speak up and ignore his commands, that needed to stop. The best thing you could have done was move out and distance yourself from him. I know it must hurt right now, but you will slowely begin to realize that you had no other choice but to walk away. You were in a toxic relationship which would have became worse. A human being can only endure so much stress and depression before bad outcomes occur. Just remember, things will get better. You've taken care of the most difficult part of the situation, things can only go up from here. Now is the time to work on yourself!
@hussjrt - thank you so much for the encouragement. This process has been incredibly emotional and difficult. Having conversations with him is hard, he does everything that he can to make me feel guilty for leaving and that I am doing the wrong thing. I wish I could cut off all communication but have to figure out how to deal with the house and finances. It is not fun or easy but I have support from my parents who have welcomed me back with open arms. I appreciate the encouragement, you have no idea how helpful it is to me. ♥️
@neatTangerine4546 It's my pleasure! Just remember the past is the past. I understand that you will still need to be in communication with him until things are finalized, but do not let him dare make you feel guilty for leaving. He is the one at fault and only has his self to blame. You did what you had to do for your own health. Sometimes we worry more about others than our ownselves and it's not healthy. Just make your future communications with him short and sweet. If he starts guilt tripping you again, simply ignore him or explain to him that the reason things are the way they are now is because of him. Having the support of your parents is huge! If will definitly help make things easier. You also now have this website. There are so many great people on here wanting to help that you can talk to whenever you please, some of which may have been through the same situation. Just please remember that you are not alone on this journey. I myself know what it feels like to be alone and depressed with no one to talk to. This website has been a blessing to me. I'm glad that my words have helped, as others have helped me. We are all here for one another!
Welcome to 7 cups. Thank you for joining. Be strong & stay safe
@neatTangerine4546
Welcome to 7 cups
@neatTangerine4546 hi and thank you for coming here and finding us. You done well opening up and making that first step to getting help if help is what you need. I don't know sorry but it's brave you able to talk about it. The relationship you were in I'm sorry that must of had a hard effect on you and I understand emotionally aswell as feeling physically numb. I'm glad your getting the help you need now coming to us. I'm sorry I don't know everything about what's happened but if you want I can talk to you and listen and try and help with talking about how you feel what you or where you wanna be. What will help and what support you got. Family and friends. I can help you with that and listen to you. Offer suggestions or advice. I don't know if it's advice you need but if not I'm here to talk to as I come here mostly and with lockdown it's harder then ever needing to talk to someone. I feel lonliness since this having no one around but if you feel same we can talk and can help each other. I can be here for you. That ok? I can be your friend too. I got listener account if that helps? I can offer you help or advice without it or just let you vent and listen. I'm usually one what likes solving problems and getting help you need but if you don't need that that's ok. I can listen but usually one to like solving problems and help out that one but if not and wanna talk to someone else you can. I don't know if things I said you do need or just need a friend but let me know and im here. I will be able to listen. I know timezones reflect the time you are in but give me a time and if it's ok can talk at your time it being not far out time to talk. I hope that's ok makes sense ok
Here if you wanna talk here
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@neatTangerine4546
welcome to 7cups! If you are needing any support let me know!
@neatTangerine4546 Welcome to 7cups! We're here for you.
