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Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2019 at 3:28pm
Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?
★ This question about Anxiety was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
December 18th, 2014 3:34am
Because you like her! You want to impress her and always look and act your best around her, it's only natural to feel nervous. It shows that she's really important to you!
March 18th, 2015 8:47pm
Sounds like you like her a lot! There's no reason to be nervous around her. She's with you because she likes you too, so don't worry about having to impress her because you already did!
December 5th, 2014 4:52am
I can't speak for you, but when I've dated a girl and I feel nervous it is usually because I can't tell what she's thinking. I want her to like me, but I don't want to appear needy. It can be very hard to attract and keep someone's interest!
December 5th, 2014 9:22pm
It could depend on a lot of things, but one reason could be that you haven't been with her for very long so you are still getting to know her/aren't completely comfortable around each other yet
August 13th, 2015 3:16pm
A possible reason for being nervous around your girlfriend is perhaps you are not being 100% your true self. When in relationships, sometimes people tend to put their best version of themselves forward. They can try to make it seem as if they do not have flaws. This can make you nervous because it is like you are hiding a part of yourself and you are afraid what their reaction will be when they discover it. Try to be your true self- flaws and all. Remember they are a flawed human too. We all are.
December 5th, 2014 12:17am
There are many reasons why you could be feeling nervous around her. One of the main reasons is guilt, maybe there is something on your conscious that is causing discomfort whenever she is around you. If it's not guilt it could be the fear of being judged or the insecurity of her leaving you or deciding she doesn't want to me with you. A fourth reason is that maybe it's not even nerves, you're mistaking the feeling and it's actually butterflies and excitement, cheesy but super common.
December 5th, 2014 3:47pm
Are you both new on the relationship? Maybe you just don't want to embarrassed yourself in front of her.
August 1st, 2015 4:11am
You're afraid she'll be noticing the little things about you, from your physical features to the way you act around her. But if she really cares about you, she'll embrace everything that makes you, well, you! If you're nervous, you're probably scared something bad will happen between you two or the relationship, or your self-confidence and self-esteem may be low. Go ahead and talk to her if your nervousness affects your relationship in a negative way. If she cares about you, she'll understand and you'll have no reason to be nervous around her anymore.
December 7th, 2014 9:57am
You could feel nervous around your girlfriend for a lot of reasons. I can't say exactly why, as I dont know the situation you are in, but a solution could be telling her. Talking to her about it and come up with a solution together. Good luck :)
June 26th, 2015 3:42pm
There are SO many reasons to be nervous around a girlfriend! Some are fairly common but others might be signals suggesting further consideration. Here are some possibilities: (1) General sexual tension: I want more and she doesn't, or she wants go further than I do, or we both want more but have reasons to refrain. (That seems fairly normal to me, and the two of you can probably figure it out over time.) (2) I'm afraid she won't like me if she gets to know the real me. (Hmmm, could be some lack of confidence in your own wonderfulness, something to work on perhaps?) (3) I'm afraid she's going to get mad at me again if I keep screwing up. (Mmm, does she get angry often? if yes, this may say a LOT about her, much more than it says about you.); (4) I'm afraid she'll criticize me or make fun of me. (Geez, if she criticizes, judges and mocks a lot, perhaps some rethinking of the relationship might be good, but, hmmm, also consider whether you're extra-sensitive, a possibility to discuss with a 7 Cups Listener perhaps); (5) I'm afraid she's going to leave me. (This is a tough one, as you may reading the signs correctly that she's no longer in love, but maybe you have a heightened fear of rejection and abandonment? so it's a good idea to talk with a listener or other objective person); (6) I started dating her very recently and we don't know each other well. (If it's early days, a little nervousness is expectable as you become more familiar with each other--give it some time and then re-assess). For me, a test of a great relationship is that the other person makes me feel so good about myself! When I walk away, I'm not just thinking what a great person they are, I'm feeling more confident and better looking all around! :) If a girlfriend has been with you for a while, and you're still nervous around her, ask yourself whether she's truly good for you. When we develop real love, the other person makes us feel safe and warm and happy.
December 6th, 2014 6:39am
That really depends. Is there something about yourself your insecure about? Is there something you're afraid she might do or realize? Are you afraid of not impressing her or letting her down? Are you worried her emotions will change without warning? The reasons really are endless with a question this broad. It may help you to chat with someone about these feelings or to write or journal about them to help yourself get a clearer idea of what you're feeling.
December 30th, 2014 11:50pm
Being nervous around your partner or love interest is natural. It's natural to be nervous because you want to convey the best side of yourself to them. It shows your compassion towards them and the need to impress them. Nervousness will eventually reduce, the longer you are around one another, but accept it's a part of human emotion.
December 5th, 2014 1:49pm
I think you are shy.You can improve yourself about his.Talk with another girl.Think positive when you get shy
June 20th, 2015 11:12pm
That's a pretty broad question. What kind of nervousness is it? It could be because you really like her and don't know how she feels about you. It could also be that you have trouble really connecting with your emotions or getting close to someone. It could even be that you don't really want to be in the relationship at all! Ultimately, you're the only one who can evaluate your own emotions and make that call. Then the next step, once you figure out why you feel the way you do, is deciding what you're going to do about it.
December 18th, 2015 12:40pm
More than likely you are in nervous because, you are not sure how to act, be yoursel!!! Being yourself is priceless and people notice this authenticity, trust in the process and stay out of the results...:)
July 1st, 2015 5:10pm
It may be because your girlfriend/boyfriend is someone you care about what they think of you, and you might be feeling like you want to be "perfect". It could also be that you have strong feelings for this person! Whatever it is, take a deep breath, remember she/he also wants to be accepted and may be nervous in some degree too. Try to build trust little by little sharing details about your day, your life, thoughts, etc. You could also lightly tell them something like " I still get a little nervous around you :)". Finally, it is norm to feel nervous around your significant other, specially when the relationship is new, but this doesn't mean it is a bad thing, or that you can't express or open up to her/him (in fact, the opposite is what might help you the most to get more comfortable!)
July 30th, 2015 7:09am
There are many reasons you could feel nervous around your girlfriend. A lot of it may relate to a sense of being judged -Are you good enough for her?- Does she love you as much as you love her?- Have you had much experience in dating relationships (new experiences can contribute to anxiety)- Are you feeling pushed by other people such as friends and family to like her or to enter into a longer term relationship and maybe marriage?. However these are just some possible reasons and if your relationship has healthy foundations or you would like to build them, then I would hope you could both talk about this and that might go some way to addressing your concerns.
June 24th, 2015 2:22am
Anxiety changes thought patterns. It genuinely makes you feel as though there is something to worry about, even when you should not be worried, and for many people this can cause them significant amounts of distress.
July 19th, 2015 5:47am
Well this form of nervousness can be due to insecurity of some sort. Its would help to identify what some of these insecurities are (you fear she will judge your fashion sense) and then realize they are inconsequential to your relationship. Trust in the love is what I'd do.
January 13th, 2016 11:24am
If you are in a new relationship with your girlfriend, then it is normal to feel nervous. This may be due to the fact that you do not know her very well yet or may be because you just need time to grow comfortable around each other.
June 18th, 2015 10:51pm
It's normal to be nervous around people we like and admire. Hopefully, she is understanding and knows this :) If you're feeling particularly anxious around her for a specific reason, maybe talk to her about it, if you feel up to it! It's great to express emotions and feelings whenever possible in relationships.
June 19th, 2015 2:40am
Because she's beautiful? Perhaps you are insecure about something in some way? Selfreflecting is key
June 20th, 2015 10:02am
Because you are thinking about what she might be thinking. Do not care what people you appreciate think about you, and they will appreciate you even more, whatever may appear to you, the insides are almost always different.
July 9th, 2015 7:36pm
There are a lot of reasons as to why you could be nervous around your girlfriend. Is she your first girlfriend? If so you could be anxious about the possibility of a new relationship and the future it hold. Did you two just get into a fight? Maybe there is tension due to the argument and you are nervous the possibility of it happening again. You could also be nervous due to low self-esteem or confidence. Regardless of the issue, engaging in some self-reflection or talking with your girlfriend is a good way to overcome your nerves.
January 6th, 2016 12:22am
Maybe you could ask if she feels nervous around you. Most people do a little bit so chances are. Knowing you both feel that way could ease both of your nerves.
March 22nd, 2015 5:04am
Because you like her and it's an innate psychological response. I think you should just take things easy and focus on being comfortable around her.
June 24th, 2015 4:37pm
It may be because society tells us that we need to be 'perfect', so when around others that you know you want to be 'perfect' with, it becomes nerve-racking. It will go away over time though!
January 22nd, 2016 1:18am
Clearly because you are formal and respect her, which is good! 😊 It also means you care about here a lot.
February 6th, 2016 1:59am
Usually because I really care about what she thinks. I try to breathe and remember that if she doesn't like who I really am, we're probably not right for each other. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
May 23rd, 2015 7:11pm
its probably because you are afraid of losing her or embarrassing yourself but don't worry the more you are with her the more comfortable you will get