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How do I leave a toxic relationship?

91 Answers
Last Updated: 10/08/2020 at 12:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling


I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.

Top Rated Answers
September 9th, 2016 1:54am
Just be calm about it. Make sure you don't come across rude. Make sure they understand what your needs are.
September 10th, 2016 12:34pm
Look to friends and family for support. Speak to a counselor or therapist. Approach the toxic person calmly and reasonably, and make a clean detachment. "For my own mental well-being, I cannot remain in this relationship. I wish you luck and happiness in your future relationships." Do not allow them to talk you out of it, do not listen if they try to convince you that you're wrong, or that they can change. Put yourself first and remind yourself that you deserve better than a toxic relationship, because you do!
October 7th, 2016 6:44pm
You have to bring yourself to want to leave. It's hard. If there is a change of your partner hurting you in some way let someone know what is happening and they can help you leave in a way that is safer.
October 12th, 2016 4:45pm
You talk to someone you trust. Tell the partner you are with you no longer want to be with them you are sad with them. If they don't understand that. Go to the police with the person you trust
October 12th, 2016 6:48pm
Find a person who will listen and support me through the process so that I realize that I can do it and will be ok, that there is no other way.
October 14th, 2016 3:58pm
Tell yourself that it's not worth it and tell them bye. You could do so much better than them. You just need to get the courage to leave
October 30th, 2016 9:37am
You need to get yourself together and decide you must end it. You can ask for help from friends and family and they will support you if you have any emotional ups and downs. But you need to go on and finish what you started even if your partner is dragging you back. It's a hard decision and it's hard thing to do but the outcome of a happier life worth it!
November 3rd, 2016 8:29pm
Keep on reminding yourself how much you get hurt being in that relationship. Also think about how happy you were while you were single.
January 26th, 2017 6:53am
I find that lists can be really helpful, especially in situations of which we are stuck, such as this one. I think that making a list of the pros and cons of leaving the relationship can be really helpful. It gives you a chance to actually SEE what it is that you're getting out of and moving on to. It can show you the very reason that this is good, and give you the motivation to get out.
March 30th, 2017 10:45pm
You tell the person it is unhealthy and attempt to move on slowly. It takes time to get over that person.
April 14th, 2017 8:24pm
Toxic relationship is the one that makes you feel like you are forced and miserable in case this happens inform the person about how you feel and stop it if you don't want connection with that person
May 14th, 2017 2:33am
Talk calm to your partner, if he doesn't want to break up and then try to do it your way. A relationship needs two and reciprocal romantic feelings to one another, it won't work with how your partner wants it to be.
July 20th, 2017 11:45am
Leaving a toxic relationship is incredibly difficult. It takes a lot of strength to do and having people around you to support you helps. Try and cut that person out of your life as much as you can - remove or block their number, block them on social media, anything to stop them getting in contact with you while you're trying to move on.
July 27th, 2017 8:35pm
Recognize that you deserve better than how you are being treated. Self-care is the utmost important thing, so it is essential to remember that you deserve to be happy. Also, try to confide in someone close to you and realize that it is okay to reach out for help.
August 19th, 2017 10:58am
I know how hard it is. You have to ask yourself if staying in the relationship is worth it anymore. You have to consider whether you can put up with this long term and if you will be happy. If all the answers are no then it has to end for your own well being.
August 27th, 2017 4:05pm
Toxic relationships are just that, toxic. They're unhealthy for you both mentally and physically so leaving one is the best route. Of course, leaving a relationship is hard, regardless of whether you're leaving a parent, sibling, lover or friend. The best way to leave this is to explain that you can no longer be in this relationship anymore due to certain reasons, and then cut off communication. Yes, it'll hurt, but in time it's better for you ❤
August 31st, 2017 11:56am
In order to leave a toxic relationship, what I ended up doing was reaching out to my family and friends, who were able to help me to leave. Another thing I would suggest would be to call any of the crisis lines that deal with this type of situation, and if it's really bad don't hesitate to call the police and / or go to a shelter. I know how terrifying it is to leave, but believe me it will end up being worth it. If you aren't quite ready to leave just yet, then maybe you could start gradually making a plan to improve your self-confidence and independance, and look into what options are available for you in your area. No matter what, make sure to keep yourself (and any children you may have) safe first! Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
September 1st, 2017 10:28am
Just leave. If that relationship doesnt give you a happiness or positive impact or hold you from progress in life, it is not a good relationship. There is no good keeping a toxic relationship. You deserve to be loved and happy.
November 16th, 2017 3:41pm
This is a tough one. Personally, I've been stuck in many toxic relationships due to not wanting to upset my partner. One thing I suggest doing is get support from your friends and family. Let them know what's going on and ask for support as you step up and end things. It will be extremely hard for you to do this, as toxic relationships tend to make you feel stuck and dependent on the partner, but I truly believe you can do it.
November 18th, 2017 1:38am
This one is difficult , because I myself have a sibling who is dealing with this herself , So for me to do this would be difficult , Although I'd have to think about myself and my safety really and also ask a question like how is this benefiting me.
November 22nd, 2017 6:37am
Leaving a toxic relationship can be hard, but ultimately you will find that once you are out of that toxic relationship you will feel so much better. To leave a toxic relationship you might want to write down some of the things or problems that you have and are bothering you and making the relationship toxic, then try to piece together what you might say to that person, and writing it down always helps too. Once you feel like you are ready to end the relationship and talk to them about it, with the pros and cons kept in mind, then the best thing to do is just go for it because sometimes we get anxious or too nervous to go through with the plan, so just sit them down and explain the issues but remember to be assertive and calm too. I know personally that it is hard to leave a toxic relationship but it will only help you, don't let the toxic people in your life drag you down. Good luck and just hope for the best.
November 28th, 2017 12:31pm
By telling yourself that you deserve better, you want better, you can have better and you will find better. If you can't say all of the above, then maybe you still reasons to believe that a toxic relationship is still the best option that you currently have.
November 29th, 2017 4:04am
Sometimes it's hard to leave a toxic relationship, depending on your situation of course. (Depending on the reason that its toxic) sometimes being honest is the best policy, but of course that won't work for everyone since every relationship and situation is different.
February 11th, 2018 11:34pm
Identifying what is intoxicating the relationship is the first step. You should then let the other person know and if you see no improvement/ will to improve, maybe it's time to tell them you need to move on.
February 23rd, 2018 11:24pm
If the relationship is draining you for energy rather than providing it then you need to leave soon as possible. Doesn't matter how, just walk away.Prioritize yourself.
March 15th, 2018 12:36am
Being honest, not just to yourself but to the other person. Make sure you have somewhere safe to go, and have a good support network around you. You'll find the strength when you feel the time is right. Always remember your not alone. If you need anyone we are all here to support you. Lots of love, and be safe x
April 25th, 2018 3:23am
Have a support team. If you don’t have one. Reach out to someone you trust. Sometimes leaving a toxic relationship can be a hard thing to do alone. More so if the partner who’s toxic also shows violent or possessive signs.
May 30th, 2018 12:26am
this is a difficult situation... but you can do this. you can tell them you no longer want to be with them and leave- force yourself if need be. i know how hard it can be, especially if it's an on and off relationship. take baby steps and pace yourself. convince yourself this is whats best and you can and will find someone better. if you feel you are in danger, call the police. if anything, they can escort you in and out of the home to retrieve your things. if its more serious than that, give them details about what is happening and they will help. if you are not in danger, remember to take baby steps and leave when you are most confident.
June 2nd, 2018 1:31am
To leave a toxic relationship, the individual needs to recognise that it is toxic first and foremost, then leave and cut all communicative ties in every section of their life, including social outings, media and text.
June 13th, 2018 2:29am
I wish I could say, "just pack your stuff and leave" but I know it's not always that easy. Find someone that you can rely on - even if it is a professional, and take it one step at a time.