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I'm having trouble with my sexuality. It's becoming more and more apparent that I don't really like to have sex...but I still experience sexual attraction. Am I asexual? Is there another term?

3 Answers
Last Updated: 04/18/2020 at 2:47am
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Top Rated Answers
Aayla
- Expert in Gender Orientation/Attraction
December 30th, 2019 2:07am
Asexuality is defined as not experiencing any sexual attraction at all, so that doesn't sound like your case. Maybe there's some reason why you don't enjoy sex: maybe your partners neglected your needs or didn't make an effort to find out what makes you feel good, which could be fixed with more communication and mutual care. You can try to ask yourself if there's something in particular that made you dislike sex and work on it. Awareness of one's own body is also very important in this.
ATurnInTheRoad
March 5th, 2020 2:28pm
Tough issue. Ultimately, you will have to make the call what you really identify with. But I'll try: On the one hand, there are plenty of reasons for a non-asexual person to not want or enjoy sex, situational or not at all. General issues include sexual inhibition, low libido, trauma, depression, fear, the list goes on. If you suspect it could be something like that, it'd be up to you whether you want to try to seek help and "fix" it, but you don't have to if you're not unhappy about it. On the other hand, it's still possible that you're on the asexual spectrum and sex repulsed. I say spectrum because there are asexuals who experience sexual attraction only sometimes and/or under certain conditions. It's okay to have attraction but not wanting to act on it. Also it's possible to confuse sexual attraction with other types of attraction, like romantic, platonic, aesthetic, sensual. Some of the subterms in the asexual spectrum include (terms can have different meanings from person to person: Graysexual, sexual attraction occurs rarely/under specific circumstances/without the desire to act on it; Demisexual, only after an emotional bond has been formed; Lith/Akoiro-sexual, feelings fade when they are reciprocated; I think internet research in this area would very much be worth it. Best of luck to you!
SoftHufflepuff
April 18th, 2020 2:47am
Asexuality is a spectrum. It can range I'm all sort of levels of attraction. The way you describe how you feel sounds like it falls under the spectrum. There are so many terms that you could and maybe want to use. I obviously don't push you one way or the other because all orientations have fluidity. I would definitely do some research. I'd give you some research but I have it in storage. If you would like you can check out "The ABCs of LGBT" by Ash Hardell. I wish you all the best and hope you find what you are looking for!
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Related Questions: I'm having trouble with my sexuality. It's becoming more and more apparent that I don't really like to have sex...but I still experience sexual attraction. Am I asexual? Is there another term?