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I adore my boyfriend and don’t want to leave him, but I also think I’m a lesbian. What do I do?

3 Answers
Last Updated: 08/26/2019 at 7:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice


I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+
August 26th, 2019 7:09pm
If you are lesbian, you have to consider if you can really be happy with him, because if you can't, with time this will make him unhappy too. Sometimes it's best for everyone to just let go, and give each other a chance to be happy in a different way. Unless both of you are happy with a purely romantic/platonic and non physical relationship. But if you can't, letting him go is the biggest act of love for him and for yourself. And nothing stops you from staying close as friends, now or later once you've moved on, if you think you can manage it.
January 30th, 2018 7:49pm
Unfortunately, the only person who can answer this is you. However, I think there are some questions you can ask yourself that may help you come to a decision. If you are not sexually interested in your boyfriend, what kind of interest do you have in him? Are you still romantically interested or do you see him more as a best friend? Do you see a future with your boyfriend? If not, do you think it would be cruel to maintain your relationship if you expect it to end anyway?
January 31st, 2018 3:24pm
I'm sorry you are going through this. If he loves you, he will want you to be happy. And if you love him, you will want him to be happy. I know it won't be easy for either of you, but you can't change your sexuality. I think eventually you'll have to tell him so that both of you can be happy.Do this in your own time and in your own way.