I'm a man and I feel comfortable in relationships with women, but I love to watch all male porn. I also love to wear women's lingerie. Does that mean I'm gay, bisexual or straight?
5 Answers
Last Updated: 07/15/2019 at 9:44am


Moderated by
Elena Morales, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I believe silence creates a cycle. With empathic and collaborative therapy, we break the cycle. I help clients feel validated and supported passed anger, shame, and anxiety.
Top Rated Answers
Your sexuality depends on who you find sexually attractive and who you would enjoy having sexual activities with. Wearing women lingerie isn't related with physical attraction to men, it's just a personal taste in clothes, the fact that it is considered feminine is something cultural, it doesn't say anything about your orientation. And the kind of porn you watch doesn't necessarily mean you are interested in being engaged in that sort of activities. The real question is if you are interested in having sex with a man in first person. If the answer is no, you only like women so you are straight. If the answer is yes, liking both men and women would make you bisexual.
Anonymous
February 27th, 2018 3:02am
You are who you are, If your fine being with a female and have feelings for them then: ok, its your life and only yours to live. If you like the feel of wearing lingerie that's you, but there are a lot of different sexuality that like wearing them to. And the same goes for watching porn. As long as your partner and you are both ok with it them do it.
There are different components here :
- gender (being a man = identifying as one),
- sexual orientation/attraction (being comfortable in relationship with women),
- gender expression (how you like to present yourself to others, according to cultural notions of what's masculine, feminine or neutral : clothes, accessories, make up, maners and behaviour, intonations of speech etc.. here : loving to wear "women's lingerie")
- subject of sexual arousal (loving to watch all male porn)
Those different notions are separate, even if they can sometimes interact.
So one can be a straight cisgender man and like to crossdress (most of crossdresser are straight cis men by the way) and be excited to male porn. I doesn't necessarily mean being gay or bisexual. Porn is about acts and imagination, not necessarily an attraction toward the actors you watch.
It's of course also possible to dissociate sexual attraction and romantic one : one can then be attracted sexually by both men and women (and non-binary people) but romantically attracted only by women. All combinations are possible.
Only you can know if you're potentially bi, straight or gay. You don't have to "try" to know, (most straight people won't think they "have to try to be in a gay relationship, just to be sure they're not gay" ^_~), but if you need to experiment, then feel free to do so.
About the crossdressing : you can ask yourself what it makes you feel to dress so. Is it linked to sexual arousal ? Or in a way of expressing your femininity ? Or because you identify as a woman / not a man ? Or for any other reason ?
If it's sexual, it's possibly a fetish, and that's totally ok :) If it's not, you can try to analyze if it's a permanent thing (you wear it or would like to wear it permanently to express who you are) or a if it's more like a disguise to break the gender norms (while still identifying as a man)...
About the porn : you can try to find out what different you're feeling when you watch it. But keep in mind that fantasms are just fantasms : it doesn't mean anything about your sexual orientation. What's right is what you feel right for you :)
I am sorry I cannot tell you that. However, if you are in such a confusion, I would recommend you to take the Sexual Orientation Test.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 3:02am
Bisexual.
Love,
Getrude
Related Questions: I'm a man and I feel comfortable in relationships with women, but I love to watch all male porn. I also love to wear women's lingerie. Does that mean I'm gay, bisexual or straight?
How do I come out as nonbinary?I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm transgender?Is there any chats/groups/forums specifically for Transgender teens 18 and under?What does it mean to be Queer? I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?How do I come out to my parents?How to deal with falling in love for your best (and straight) friend?How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?Hi. I’ve had trouble with my family lately. My mom says she supports me-being an enby but won’t call me by my pronouns. And got angry at me now I’m in trouble. Please help?