What is the best way to get over the pain caused by close family such as a mom who is "repulsed" at the fact that her son/daughter is gay, but sends her love despite this "shortcoming"?

9 Answers
Last Updated: 08/07/2018 at 12:46am
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Top Rated Answers
CourageousPal26
January 23rd, 2015 8:07am
You just have to accept it. You have to accept the fact that your mom grew up with the notion that being gay is sinful/wrong and it's near impossible to change that fact. Sure she can't understand why you don't match up with her ideal son/daughter completely, but no one is perfect and not everyone have the perfect mom. Her acceptance (or lessened repulsiveness) also take time as well. Don't try to convince her with words, but with action. Just be the perfect son/daughter despite this and show her that this shortcoming is no shortcoming. The good thing is, at least she still sends her love, the relationship is not completely ruined and it seems like there's a chance for change.
sunflower2294
January 23rd, 2015 9:46pm
When a person realizes that they love differently than some people its hard enough to self accept. It makes it harder when an individual wants to tell their parents, get up enough courage, and then they have to hear this.No one should treat you differently. It is hard when family no longer accepts you and nothing really changed did it? you were the same person five minutes before but they didnt know that you love differently. I accept all people. Each person is unique and I dont think that someone should be shunned because they are being themselves.
fluffyKiwi24
May 4th, 2015 11:18pm
In my experience it helps concentrating on the thought that she loves you. Even if she doesn't understand and even if she judges you without any knowledge on that topic. She loves you. And last but not least: People's opinion can change over time. As can her's.
WhenYouSmile
May 15th, 2015 12:59am
Very, very close to the heart question.. Honestly, best thing I can say is don't stop being who you are! Other people will learn to love it if they really do love you.
Allen39
May 17th, 2015 8:54pm
It can hurt when close family says hurtful things- a lot. But there are always people for you. You can find parental figures in teachers, relatives, or even friends. I hope you find the support you need.
IY72
June 7th, 2015 2:04am
The same was with my dad, and I can honestly say that it felt like a knife in my chest. However, the way I got over the pain was by simply being thankful that it hadn't been worse, that I hadn't be kicked out of my house like one of my other friends. I reminded myself that my father still loved me even though he was disgusted with my gayness, and that I would still be his daughter, no matter my sexual orientation.
Greatlistener87
June 27th, 2016 3:23am
Just because your mum might not agree of you being Gay, does not mean that she loves you any lesser. You are still her son and she will always love you as her son. Just that maybe during her bringing up it was told that being Gay is not a good thing and she might not have been thought on how to deal if any of her kids were gay.
Allears247
June 25th, 2018 3:14pm
What made it easier for me is coming to the conclusion that people just don't understand and they really don't have whats needed to fully comprehend. For example a male will never know what its like to have a baby. He might get the whole concept of it, but because he can never become pregnant and give birth. He will never completely understand. It's the same with heterosexual people. They get the gist of it, but they can never fully understand you.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2018 12:46am
Continue to be yourself and never give up and your mom will realize what it means to you and how real it is