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I dont know what type of sexuality I am, I dont know if I'm bi, trans, or lesbian, can someone help me?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 11/23/2021 at 9:33pm
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United States
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Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
October 28th, 2019 1:36am
Being trans is not about sexuality, but rather about gender identity. If you feel like the gender you've been assigned at birth doesn't fit you, if you perceive yourself and feel like the opposite gender, that would make you trans. As for your sexual orientation, try to imagine yourself in sexual and romantic contexts with people of different gender, and see what feels good to you. That determines who you are! If you think it can help, you're also free to experiment - both with sexuality and with gender expression - and try whatever you suppose could make you happy. And of course, it's also helpful to get in contact with the LGBT community to share your feelings and learn from other people's experiences.
October 27th, 2020 10:32am
Figuring out your sexuality can be quite difficult and stressful sometimes. I think what is important is that you do not put too much pressure on yourself and do not obsess over it too much; it is a process that can take a while and you should give yourself the time. With time, you'll find out naturally what you like and want and what you do not like and not want. Our sexuality is something that we cannot control or force anyway, so try to accept yourself the way you are. Until then, treat yourself with kindness and understanding. You do not have to put a label on yourself and even if you do want to find a label for yourself, then you can still always change it when you realize that you have changed and cannot identify with that label anymore. It's okay.
November 10th, 2020 7:59pm
First and most importantly, what do you think you are? What description best reflects how to see yourself in relation to others, and aligns with how you feel about your self? This would be a good conversation to have with a professional specializing in sexual identity. Research suggests that identity is more of a spectrum than neat categories that make you one thing or another. There is some excellent literature on the subject and there are community resources that exist just to provide support to people who are on this journey of self-discovery and identity. You're not alone in wondering about these issues either. There are supportive, accessible communities and resources available so I'd encourage you to check them out!
April 20th, 2021 5:22pm
It's okay to feel lost about who you are. Nobody knows from the start, everyone has their own journey and timeline to finding themselves so try not to be mean to yourself about it. There is no rush! I think that the only way to know is to try. Notice when you're the happiest and when you feel like a relationship isn't for you, but be sure that the person you're involved with understands that you're questioning so that if you decide you're not happy it's fair for them. Again, there is no rush to finding who you are. Just follow whatever makes you happiest.
November 23rd, 2021 9:33pm
Hello! I would suggest some self-reflection! What does attraction mean to you (sexual vs romantic attraction)? Can you see yourself dating/sleeping with a woman, a man, someone non-binary, etc. ? Have you been attracted to someone of the same gender vs different gender than you? Do you feel comfortable identifying as a woman/man/neither? Which pronouns feel the best when other people are referring to you? Take some time to maybe write these things down or just think about. Whenever you feel safe, you can also choose to explore in the dating world. Just know that this is all completely normal questions to have and you're doing great on your journey towards growth :)