Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I have many out friends and supportive friends who would support me, so why can’t I bring myself to come out?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2021 at 7:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Caroline Middelsdorf, MSc.


I am a warm hearted, patient, calm and open-minded therapist. I am here to dedicate my expertises to my clients and their individual challenges, thoughts and feelings.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 8th, 2019 9:25pm
Sometimes, seeing the intolerance of a part of society influences us to the point that we end up fearing coming out to anyone, including supportive friends. It's not your fault, it's a very common fear to have. Since it's mainly an irrational emotion, maybe it would to try to rationalizing and keep asking yourself what is the logical reason behind your fear. It may take some time, but confronting our fear with the constant evidence of the lack of reasons for it can help. With time, you can learn to accept at the emotional level and not only at the rational one that coming out is safe for you!
June 1st, 2021 7:55am
I'm glad that you have queer and supportive friends who would support you. It can, in other words, mean a revelation about your sexual orientation and/or gender identity that you once just kept to yourself. To me, it might also mean presenting myself out there in a vulnerable manner, which can of course be scary. Coming out is a major event/shift in one's life. I realise that it is more of a process sometimes than an event, but it still means a lot of change. It may also provoke a lot of anxiety. Know that it's okay to not come out even though there's support out there. That being said, it's also very much okay to ask for support. You may ask whoever you wish to, it can also mean coming out to just one person you trust. (your safety is important!) You'll get there in time! We're here for you ❤️