My son is 7 and has shared he is gay. This makes absolutely no difference to me, as long as he grows up to be safe and happy. But I'm just curious to know if you can know you're gay at 7?
Last Updated: 12/13/2019 at 1:56pm
Monique Bivins, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.
Top Rated Answers
It's possible to know your sexuality, whatever it is, at any age. Just like straight children know it, gay children can know it too. Some people need more time to figure it out, maybe because their social environment prevents them from embracing this part of themselves. If your son shared this, supporting him is the best thing to do. It's great to hear that it's ok for you and you just want his happiness, you're being a great parent!
I think all children are different, and well done for having such a positive outlook on things! Coming from an educational and childcare background, in the settings I work it is regular for children to explore possibilities and make statements - it is part of their natural development. What is important is to know that your child trusts and cares about you enough for them to share this with you. I do not feel like there is anything you need to do now, apart from continue living like normal; he may mention it again or he may just 'forget' about ever saying it! Either way, Good Luck :)
While it may seem young to know, it's definitely possible to know even at 7! It's most likely stemming from how he feels in relation to other boys, how he thinks about girls, and what just feels comfortable to him. We're exposed to romance when we're young, and it's possible to see couples in TV or movies and know if that's something we would dream of for our future or not. Children are smart and they experience a lot of things, so it makes sense that this can also mean knowing who you may want to be with in the future. If a little girl can be excited about getting married to a boy in her future when she's 7, so too can a little boy feel excited about his future with another boy. You're doing great by just supporting him and wanting him to be happy :)
Sometimes it's just a feeling. But for a seven year old, it's almost impossible to know about that! Romance isn't meant to be a big part of a child of that age's life. Of course, it's still there, so all you can do is support him and make sure it's normalized. When a seven year old boy has a crush on a girl in class, it doesn't make any difference either. There's no way to know if you're gay by that time for sure though, since hormones haven't started up yet, but who knows! I'm very happy for your son :)
Good on you for being so supportive and focusing on his happiness and safety as the most important values. I am sure anyone would be very lucky to have you as a parent! I think of sexuality as an ever-evolving thing, meaning that what I would identify myself with today may not be what I call myself in 10 years. If I understand correctly, you are unsure if his age even allows him to comprehend what being gay entails and whether this is a "true fact" about his sexuality. Maybe it is helpful to see him identifying as gay as an evaluation made from his current standpoint and feelings, with his current life experience and comprehension of the concept. This is the case at all ages and our self-knowledge as well as that of the world steadily evolves! Best wishes your way :)
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