Why do people assume that all bisexuals sleep with anyone that comes up to them?
Last Updated: 08/20/2018 at 9:41am
Michael Hofrath, Ph.D. Candidate
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It's a common misconception that people make, they assume bisexual people won't identify as straight or homosexual so they can play the field, and have a go with anyone. But as long as you know who you are, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks.
Because people have a social stigma against the norm so if you are someone whom likes more than one gender then you must want to have sex with all of them.
I think it's really all about lack of understanding. Though bisexuals are attracted to both genders, many people think they're attracted to everyone and can't maintain a relationship, which is simply not true. I know many relationships where the bisexual is faithful to their partner, but people just don't see that. If they took the time to really look into the LGBTQ community, they would perhaps have a better understanding
Usually when people don't understand something, they make up some whacky way to explain it. In the case of bisexuals, people don't quite understand that bisexuality is just sexual attraction to two genders and works the same way as any other sexuality. They think that since bisexuals have "more to choose from" that they want them all when that is not the case.
I think it's because they like both genders. So because they like everyone, people may think that there easy. That's not the case. People have there opinions, but the only thing you can do is tell them that, that isn't the case.
People assume this because there is a stigma surronding the lgbt community. If you aren't straight, you're probably just doing this as a kink sorta thing according to some mindsets. EX.) If a girl comes out as lesbian to a female friend, that female friend is scared that she likes her now, due to her orientation. Or if someone comes out as pansexual/panromantic, people think its the same as being polysexual or polyromantic. It's ignorance to be frank & clear.
I believe because it is the horrible stigma which is attached to the identity of bisexual. Stigma's are horrible and people often believe them and stick to them which isn't right. Bisexuals aren't attracted to everyone man and women they see, it's like saying to a heterosexual woman that she wants to sleep with every man that she see's. People have certain types etc and it's exactly the same for bisexuals or any sexuality that someone identifies as.
This is indeed a strong myth about bisexuals which not once make me hear: "I want go out with a bisexual". I guess it's from all of the media that taught that sexual promiscuity of "party-girls" in the media had taught people that bisexuals sleep with a lot of people and nearly everything. This is one of the common expressions of biphobia.
It's probably because of a number of factors. Firstly, they don't understand what a bisexual is. A bisexual person does not need to have an equal attraction to the genders, the sexual attraction can be unequally distributed. Secondly, bisexual people are not necessarily promiscuous. Many actually have stable marriages in fact. Thirdly, there is still stigma that surrounds mental illness, so negative assumptions are still common
There is a misconception that bisexual means "I want to sleep with everyone" as opposed to "I will sleep with someone regardless of gender." The difference there is subtle, but it puts an emphasis on active pursuit of sexual partners over a passive attraction to a wider populace. It's an odd belief, and I don't understand the origins entirely, but I feel that it has to do with the fact that having any sort of homosexual tendencies is still unfortunately seen as sexually deviant. Once someone has been labeled as deviant, it's easy to lump other behaviours, such as wantonness, in with it.
Lack of knowledge, LGBT+ stigma and biphobia. I'm a pansexual and some people thought I could have sexual intercourse with "animals and plants"
I think it's because they assume that since bisexuals are attracted to both genders, that they'll take whoever comes up to them and wants to sleep with them.
When it comes to sexuality, people often misunderstand that the ability to be attracted to someone does not mean that you will. Since bisexuals *can* be attracted to two or more genders, people tend to think that they will. A solution to this is to turn it around on the person, i.e. "are you attracted to every member of [gender(s) that person can be attracted to}?"
Because people are stupid and think that just because we're attracted to multiple genders, we'll sleep with anyone
Well if people like that thinks so thats their opinion. Remember that you are the boss of yourself and you are in control of what you believe in.
Because people are uneducated and think that bisexuals are greedy when in fact they are not, what we need is these kinds of topics to come up in classes so that kids grow up knowing what's true.
Because people suck and they listen to sterotypes. I think people are getting better at avoiding them, but eh.
Because bisexuals like both genders. Which basically means people sees them as the "sexuality whore" in a way. But that people say this does NOT mean it is true. If you're scared people think this is true, just ignore them. They cannot decide who you are.
This is just me trying my best...because I am not sure but...maybe people think because we are open to being with both genders that makes us...promiscuous? I don't think that way...though I am bisexual.
Because they are labouring under the misapprehension that sexuality is a choice, and by showing attraction to both genders it is because bisexual people are greedy and/or desperate. Some bisexual people may have multiple sexual partners, and that's okay if that's what they want. But by definition, bisexuality is simply experiencing sexual attraction to people of either gender. They are just as likely to be in a committed monogamous relationship as any straight/gay person.
To put it simply in two words and one sentence, it is because of their ignorance and fear of those considered into being differential in society. Although, such thing has been around since the beginning. Adding to this, it could also be from the label itself. The prefix bi- means 'two' and sexual is of relations to the two well known genders, male and female. People may think that because bisexuals deal with more than one gender, there could be multiple possibilities that they would not have a problem with dating everybody. It's like they believe that bisexuals would only be interested in participating in one big orgy of the two genders. But, in reality, it's not at all like that. Bisexuals, from the good ones I've known, just wanted to live their lives, and if they found a love interest in someone, they would do the same thing that heterosexuals do. Fall in love, try to be there for friends, love their families even if their families don't approve of their choices. Regardless of the bi- gender interests, it's practically the same thing, with a twist.
Because bisexuals have more people that they could possibly be in a relationship with, just because they like more than one gender, people seem to assume that bisexuals sleep around a lot. some do and some don't, just like any other sexuality. It's mostly just an uneducated idea.
People have unrealistic ideologies and you should not worry about that. Educate and move on. you dont deserve to be stereotyped.
I myself identify as bisexual, so I often find myself asking a similar question to myself also. I feel that people assume that bisexuals sleep with anyone that comes up to them because we are not definitively calling ourselves one thing. When you are heterosexual or homosexual you know exactly who we like, but as when people call themselves "bisexuals" I think certain groups of people look at that as the bisexual being confused and not knowing what they want.
They can't imagine what it's like to be attracted to different types of people, and they fear what they don't understand
It's kind of a 'you like more people, you get more people' type logic. It's similar to the stereotype that bisexuals have a larger dating pool than those who only like one gender (which is usually false considering some sexualities don't match up and biphobia is extremely prevalent). It's the idea that since we are able to be attracted to more people, we get more. It isn't true most of the time, but that's just the way it is sometimes. Also, we're in a pretty hypersexual culture, which doesn't always help.
I know, it's stupid, but I think it's because people think that since we will settle for two genders, that means that we will settle for any type of person as well, which is obviously not true.
I'm bisexual also, it's a development of biphobia, where bisexuals are told to "choose a side." Bisexuals have a bad rep (so do pansexuals) because some people don't understand that it's possible and okay to like people regardless of their gender; people can like others for the personality. They assume because they are critical to the bi community.
I know it's really bothering when people assume this, but many of them just do this out of ignorance, not malice. Bisexuality is a reality that not many people talk about, and it's easy to misjudge what you don't know. But we can help by doing our best to explain this reality to people who are willing to listen. You can tell them how it feels like, you can explain what it really means and help them overcome their prejudice through logic and knowledge. I know it's frustrating to do that so often, but if there's a chance that you can help people understand and stop judging, it's worth trying!
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