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i'm lonely and depressed. Is it silly to think that someone would actually love me in a romantic way when I'm like this?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 05/10/2021 at 4:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
March 13th, 2018 3:21am
Hi, dear person! I can't speak for the rest of the world, but I can speak for me - I am in love with a lonely, depressed person. I love them. When they're depressed, they curl up on the couch, and I pet their hair while reading a book. It isn't a bother. If I love my depressed person, I know there's someone out there who can love you for you. We do exist, I promise. Meanwhile! You are worth taking care of. You for yourself. That means talking on 7cups, seeing a therapist, exercising and eating well, taking antidepressants if they work for you, etc. Friends are lovely, so - even though it's hard - it's worth it to put yourself out there to make them. Almost everyone is lonely. If available, join some sort of healthy social activity - libraries often have directories for social gatherings. A book club, a band, a gardening club, a loving church, volunteering at a local charity, or volunteering at your local nursing home (elderly people are often lonely and would love to make friends with you!). Once again - most people are just as lonely as you are, but they fear rejection. If you can, make the first move! Most people will appreciate it. Dr. Seuss wrote: “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” All that to say... yes, I am proof - it is possible to romantically love a lonely, depressed person. You are a person. Worthy of love, capable of love.
March 6th, 2018 6:01am
Before you love someone else, it's important to love yourself first. In other words, you need to be a strong independent person that enjoys their own company and loves life. This is so that you don't become overly attached when you finally meet someone that you are interested in. Once you have established yourself, I am certain someone will appreciate your true amazing self without you even trying.
April 10th, 2018 7:18pm
You just have to believe in people, talk, make new friends and everything will be alright.😊
May 1st, 2018 3:59pm
My dear, I have not seen you but seeing this message tells me so much, you are brave enough to seek help, you are beautiful inside and I’m sure you’re beautiful outside too! Sometimes people are like butterflies, they can’t see just how beautiful their wings are. Love Yourself.
April 7th, 2020 4:23pm
It's not silly, it's just the loneliness talking in to our brain, we can be loved all the times, and in every shape, we are humans and we have feelings that are totally normal to have, that person will be the person that will support you the most ! for me my better half was the best it could happen to me, he supported me when i was the most imbarable person in the world and never leaved me. we just have to breath and relax, because some day, a very close day, we will be able to enjoy the best of us and the people around us.! Stay STrong, Fight, and Never ever let anyone get you down
May 10th, 2021 4:59pm
Feeling lonely and depressed doesn't make it harder for someone to love you. Everyone is lonely sometimes, everyone gets depressed sometimes. Some of us are both of those things some of the time... some of us spend a lot of time feeling both of those things. The most important factor in creating bonds with people is in how you behave. This doesn't mean you have to completely hide your depression or try and be something you're not, it means that you should put your best "self" forward, Romance is hard and weird and confusing. It's also unexpected and wild and wonderful. There is always something loveable about you. It's important to let people see the best of you even when you're feeling the worst. Let your actions speak for you. "Yes, I feel sad and depressed but I still will make the effort to go out to hang out." Remember, no one ever met anyone else by staying alone.