I feel like isolating myself, but deep inside I am very lonely. What do I do?
Last Updated: 03/18/2021 at 4:32pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
I know exactly how that feels. Loneliness is something that's been with me my entire life and I always end up pushing people away and isolating myself even more, even though I know it's a trap. You have to force yourself out of that comfort zone of isolation and self-pity of "why no one truly likes me?". As uncomfortable as it is at first I usually send a message to a friend I haven't talked to in a while, just a "hey, how's it going?" if I feel like talking to them. Or write my loneliness out on a blog and share it to trusted people on facebook, hoping someone will notice and reach out - it's like broadcasting a call for help. Another option is signing up for some sort of social activity - signing up is the key here, because it feels like you commit to it, someone will expect you, and hold accountable for showing up to some extent. I never believe it will work, I expect to feel all alone among all those new people I'll meet, yet another situation where I don't belong, but the actual outcome is nearly as bad. Meeting new people and chatting about trivial things takes you mind off of that feeling of loneliness, at least temporarily. I know how insanely hard it is sometimes to resist that urge to isolate, but be aware of it, be aware that it's a trap, and search ways how to walk around it and not succumb :)
Why do you feel so lonely inside? Perhaps you need a period of self reflection. Loneliness is often a cry for help and you probably really need yourself right now. You are not "isolating" yourself in a negative way, simply caring for you first. That way you can be the best you for you, and those you care about. Try to extend yourself more to those around you but don't feel pressured. Be patient with yourself and let things flow :)
Surround yourself with things that make you happy. Don't talk to or even look at people if you don't want to. Read, if that's what you like. Watch movies, binge-eat, have a movie marathon, go for walk at odd hours, go running. Spend time with yourself, think about what's going on with your life and how you would like it to be. Care about yourself before anyone else. Being alone and feeling lonely are two very different things. We are lonely when we don't enjoy our own company, when we aren't comfortable in own skin. Talk to yourself, take yourself to dates, make love, care. Look in the mirror, that is the person you go to sleep with every night. That person in the mirror, they come first.
I need to talk about this to a friend whom I can trust. Isolation might mean that you're just protecting yourself from getting harm by others, and that's why you avoid people, but yet feeling very lonely inside.
This can be a problem for introverts or people with social anxiety, like myself, the way you always seem to be contradicting yourself in the things you want and feel. You may have a hard time making friends, or a hard time connecting with them, and it may feel like people don't really acknowlege how you feel, which can cause you to want to just isolate yourself; be with the only person who truly understands you, you. If you have the option to talk with friends or even make some new ones, this is always a good idea but not always the easiest for some. Sometimes it's best to start by simply going out more, having short conversations with people you don't know, maybe even just spend some time with a pet or volunteer at an animal shelter; sometimes all that it takes to help you when you feel alone is to interact with something else that is alive.
You may want to isolate yourself to validate a lack of adequate interactions. Rather than cutting yourself off from society, which will ensure you do not find a friend, you should try looking in new and unusual places for like-minded people. One good friend is better than a million acquaintances.
we must talk with a strongest therapist when we feel very alone ourselves. Because in these times, we sometimes dont think properly. It is needed to talk with a wise.
Even I feel lonely everyday. All of my friends have each other and sometimes I feel like I'm pushed away. But I never really let that get to me. To wash away the loneliness I watch funny and inspiring movies or I read a lot of books. It really, really helps. I would also recommend walking around in your neighborhood or town and just exploring everything. It's like the key to a world without sorrows.
Begin by understanding what the isolation is all about - what's at the heart of it - why you feel lonely. You can be alone without feeling lonely; you can be surrounded by people who genuinely love and care for you, and still feel lonely. So, loneliness is not a matter of circumstances or situations, though these can be triggers.
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t. And believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Look for the things you love about yourself, be it physical or your traits as a person. Explore it, embrace it and share it with the world. Know your own worth eventually you will fill yourself with positive energy and the right people will find their way to you and your loneliness will fade in time.
Relax, take it easy. I think a lot of people have felt like just blocking themselves from the world and isolating themselves at one point or another. Don't blame yourself for feeling this way, instead try to understand yourself better and find out what makes you feel this way. You could try talking to a close friend or family member about this, or even talk to a therapist if you don't feel comfortable with talking to a person you know.
Why don't you try just taking a walk. One day maybe walk to the end of your street, and the next to the park. Slowly integrate yourself out of your comfort zone. When you feel ready, just ask someone for the time. Slowly you will see how you are able to talk to strangers more easier. Also, you could try and join a group or a club, that shares a common interest like you.
Get busy Keeping yourself busy is a really effective way of dealing with loneliness. If you’re in a situation where you’re bored or can’t find a job, volunteer with something you care about or think you might be interested in. Feeling needed and useful is really important sometimes. Know you’re not alone
I was going through this phase once. It is the feeling of being hollow from inside. You just feel like there is noone who cares about you.You have noone to talk to. But trust me, people are out there to help you. People who want to see you happy. These can be your loved ones or sometimes complete strangers. The thing is to realise that we are after all a social animal and don't want to die alone. We always want someone by our side, whether we accept it or not. It is better to tell someone how you are feeling and you will get better day by day, just like me.
Have some people let your expectations down? Isolating yourself isn't usually the best solution. Try to be positive, and maybe find some new people to talk with?
Try to go out and socialise with others doing something you've never done before can be rewarding within itself.
Try to engage yourself in activities that include relating to others, basing on the things you love the most. For example, if you like music, you can try entering a band. If you like art, some course where you have to relate to other students. There are a lot of activities that in some way force you to create relationships, but in the end they can be very helpful for you.
You shouldn't be in isolation ENTIRELY. Sure you can talk just a few words a day to a few people but not total solitude. If you are lonley and want to talk to some people, compliment them. It will help get you used to being around people and it would make the person receiving the compliment feel great.
Are you happy with your own company? First you should learn to be content with yourself. Once you learn to do this, to lessen the loneliness you should probably try to talk to people and make a few friends. You don't always have to be around them - try to find a balance of alone time and spending time with others.
What you may want to do is take baby steps, such as sitting outside at the park. Then maybe a step up could be to bring a friend and talk to them while you're there or meet somewhere else or talk to someone new and try and make a friend, then you can try to have a small group maybe. It can even start as small as smiling at strangers or noticing and being in the presence of people and working from there! It all depends on your comfort zones at the moment because you know you best!
Well do not isolate your self it will get worse chances are they must be someone family friends they will talk
Try to talk to people on a regular basis, texting can help because you don't have to reply immediately if you don't want to :)
Sometimes it is so important to reach out for help. Scheduling is always a good thing when life feels a little upside down. Set up a schedule for yourself every day. Set aside time to be around people and seek out valuable human connection, but also make sure to set time to be with yourself. Read a book, meditate, exercise, practice mindful breathing. Loneliness is a long and difficult road, but it can subside if you work at it. Talk to a therapist or a councilor and try to find people in your community that you relate to.
You should first try to realize why you want to isolate yourself. Is it because you just don't like the people around you, do they make you sad by their actions or personalities etc. If you find yourself being in a bad mood, which is caused by those around you it might be a good idea to just go on without them. The right people will come, but there is no point in keeping up with people who make you sad just because you feel lonely.
Finding hobbies can me an amazing way to meeting people! Taking time off or volunteering somewhere is a fantastic way to meeting other nice people! You're not alone you have us!
I've been there more times than I can count. What helps the most, although is also the hardest, is reaching out to someone. Asking to hang out. To spend time together. To talk. We often think that we won't be lonely only if somebody else invites us to spend time together, but that's not true - we need to look out for ourselves as well. So contact someone, maybe an old friend? Might be an opportunity to catch up.
Sometimes, it can be nice to reach out. You can try reaching out to somebody you feel comfortable with. Just try to hang out with them for a couple hours. It may make you feel a lot better :)
It's hard to say what /you/ should do; as many people experience this - but in different forms. The best option is to get yourself out there every once in a while, even if it does make you feel slightly uncomfortable. In the long run, it may be worth it. It's nice to have some time to yourself, but it's also nice to be around people occasionally.
Get involved! Go join a sport, or a gaming net.. Get a hobby and find people who like it too. I was severely depressed for years, and you need to get involved before bad stuff happens... Don't isolate yourself or you'll feel more lonely. Good luck!
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