Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I tell my child they were conceived through IVF with an anonymous sperm donor?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 08/11/2020 at 6:06pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Katherine Aucoin, Transpersonal Counselling Psychology


I offer you compassion and support on your unique journey. I look forward to working with you to heal your emotional wounds and find more freedom and joy.

Top Rated Answers
November 20th, 2014 10:07pm
Maybe you could let them know that you loved them so much even before they were conceived, and was having trouble to become pregnant, you decided to get the extra help conceiving, to give them a place in your heart.
November 23rd, 2014 2:59pm
It depends on the emotional age of your child and their readiness for this information. I would suggest a conversation explaining that children have many ways of coming to their parents, and that you did what you had to do to make your child be born/made. All children no matter how they were conceived are precious, and a seed used to fertilize an egg is always perfect, no matter whose seed it is. Perhaps explaining how conception occurs first, then what process IVF takes, may make a good impact.
December 8th, 2014 12:41pm
Just tell your child the truth. They might be offended that they will never know who their Dad is, but they'll get over it. Some day he/she will realize that you wanted them that bad. You wanted to be their Mother that bad that you did that to have them. Just an opinion.
December 24th, 2014 12:48pm
This depends on the age of the child. Remember, this is only a child and this maybe an attempt to free yourself from bad feelings about having an IVF birth. IVF births are a wonderful creation. It is a relatively new technique to the family world and this "newness" may need time to settle into you first. Looking inside and discovering the reasons why you feel it is necessary to tell your child about this may be resolved by understanding your own feelings first. Involve the child in this as little as possible and pour your love and care on him.
December 29th, 2014 3:23pm
I think it depends on the age of the child, I'll assume they are very young for starters. Most things can be easily explain to children trough a story. In this case, you can take the opportunity to give him/her a science lesson that would be according to his or her age. They can easily get to the conclusion that the story of how they came into the world is pretty cool, and don't forget that sci-fi is still trending, so children are most likely not foreign to such language. When they ask where do babies come from, you can take the chance and explain to them that there are many ways in which that can happen, through nature and through medical science (the last of the options is something that most parents simply forget to mention, which is a shame, because it's a cool story that can put ideas into your child's mind about how cool the field is). I don't think that this would affect him, especially at an early age. On the contrary, it would probably steer the fantasy of the child in a neat direction.
September 20th, 2015 4:25am
IVF conception is nothing to be embarassed about, or negative in any way. as your child starts asking the typical questions about his birth, explain in simple words but without lies the process, from a biological point of view. when the kid is too young he may not be entirely able to understand it, but if you lie of avoid the question waiting for him to be old enough, you will most likely confuse him or he may feel they have lied to him. direct answers is usually what kids get and value the most
February 20th, 2017 5:57am
You can share with your wonderful blessing of a child how they were conceived by seeing how they are open to maybe sharing something little on the topic. See how open minded they are,or if they just don't understand about IVF. You will know though of the right moment to have that 1-1 talk with your child. And how they react and understand this is how prepared you are and how you show your emotions. Good luck with this
October 17th, 2014 11:01am
No Not Necessarily it Depends on How the Patient Feels!!! and If they want to spend the Money on Medication
December 1st, 2014 11:00pm
The most important thing I think a child needs to hear is that they were wanted and are loved. This is the case even through IVF and if anything, it shows the lengths you went to ensure that this little person came to be. You can perhaps add the special way the child came into the world and how wonderful it is that they are here.
December 17th, 2014 10:57pm
Honesty is the best policy, explain the situation regarding your decision to be impregnated calmly and with as much love as you can. Your child's reaction may not be what you would hope for but it would be better coming from you in a safe setting.
September 7th, 2015 9:41pm
It may not be easy, but its something you made a decision to do. So you just have to be upfront and honest with them, while also being sure to let them know that you did what you did out of love and the love of wanting a child so much. Be prepared though, because there may still be alot of questions to follow.
July 4th, 2016 6:31am
Make sure that your child is in the right age to receive this kinda news. Make sure to explain why u did so and how is the situation after u did it.
September 19th, 2016 5:40pm
it depends on your sons age if he is too young you should probably wait for some time if he is too curious you can just tell him age appropriate stuff if he is old to know about ivf you should ask him to calm down and listen to you if he gets angry dont worry he will probable come around and dont forget he loves you
December 27th, 2016 12:58pm
Wait until they are old enough to understand. Yes children these days are very advanced but we have to remember they're still children. You will know in your heart when the time is right, and when that day come just have a heart to heart be completely honest and answer all questions.
March 7th, 2017 3:10am
Depending on the child's age I would sit them down and explain why you chose that route and how mommy and daddy love them more than anything. Kids are smart.
August 11th, 2020 6:06pm
Wow, this is a difficult question and i would think that there are many scenarios but broke it down to two, one depending on the age of the child. If the child was a young adult or an actual adult it would be more straight forward as opposed to talking to a young child. This is a question that I needed to some research on. In any scenario my main goal would be to stress how much I wanted them and how much I love them. For a younger child I would get age appropriate books and sit and read those to them, again stressing my love for them.