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Why I am not able to forget my ex even after she dumps me?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 11/24/2020 at 5:54pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
January 28th, 2015 4:50am
You can't just forget someone who was important to you. But you'll get over her. I know it sounds cliché, but just take your time and let the wounds heal. You'll feel better, you will.
September 15th, 2015 6:14am
Love is like a drug that you become addicted too. Your body will still crave it even after they leave you, it will take time to get over them but I know you can get over her :)
June 30th, 2015 1:36am
Time is healer, give it time. indulge yourself in other activities, find where your interest lies, destroy anything that make you think of her and let yourself know, she wasn't worth keeping, she might have left you long after and in that way, it would b such a waste of your time and attention. Be thankful that you are not with such a person.
December 21st, 2015 3:16pm
Cause you think she is the one for you, open your eyes she has already forgot you most probably so you should do the same thing.
May 31st, 2016 2:52pm
It is almost impossible to just forget someone that you loved or had strong feelings for. It is completely normal to feel that way, time will help heal the heart.
April 28th, 2015 11:08pm
Because you still love her. You can't can't just go from loving someone to not loving them. It will take some time to get over. I understand this is a difficult time but just keep moving. It will get better. You will fall in love again.
February 14th, 2015 1:23pm
Maybe you're trying to hold on to the memories. Try and focus on other things. Other things that won't remind you of her and what had happened. Moving on is never easy so don't try to force yourself to move on. Take all the time you need. But when you tell yourself it's enough, make sure you're not coming back to the memories of the past.
December 14th, 2015 10:09pm
because she still means something to you, and that is your mind not being able to let go of someone who hurt you
September 5th, 2016 7:40pm
After losing someone that close to you, it's hard to forget so quickly. Forgetting about something, or in this case, someone, takes time. A good way to forget is to distract yourself, because otherwise all you'll do is think about what made you happy with your ex instead of making yourself happy in the present.
January 27th, 2015 7:29pm
Sometime we hold on to things or memories that hurt us. Sometime the hurt is so deep it is hard to let go.
May 30th, 2015 1:56pm
It takes time to heal the wounds of an ended relationship. Leaning on family and friends around you can heal these wounds temporarily and make you feel better for a period of time, however, forgetting your ex (especially if it was a long term or important relationship to you) will take a while and may never really happen. I was in a long term relationship that ended abruptly and I still remember the feelings of the break-up and the positive feelings of the relationship and its been around 6 years since it ended. Always know that things will get better, and that there are always better relationships nd experiences right around the corner where you least expect it.
June 6th, 2016 8:06am
Because you loved her. And that's alright, you don't have to forget her right now. Everything takes time. Just focus on other things, on things you love doing. Go out with your friends or spend time with your family. There are more other girls in the world and you surely will find another one to fall for in some time. For now, enjoy yourself :)
March 22nd, 2016 8:24am
Maybe you haven't gone over her yet..Eventually time will...Time is the best healer. Let time unfurl what's in your future
August 1st, 2016 2:21pm
I got dumped by my boyfriend, and i still love him and can't forget him. If your relationship was strong, its impossible to just forget her, if you had a really nice cheesecake from the cheesecake factory and maybe like 4 months after you're craving some nice, creamy cheesecake, your first instinct will be the cheesecake you had that was so good at the cheesecake factory, the same with your situation. Whether or not you love(d) her, if your relationship was strong, it would be impossible to forget all the amazing times you had with her, it doesn't matter who dumped who. :)
June 18th, 2018 9:54am
You still love her...However, do you love yourself enough?It may sound awkward but my friend try to check what is your worthiness.How far you value you have self love?Dont dwell in will find only will haunt you..possess you.Come to the NOW...what is gone is over..begging,,crying..feeling low will lead to destroying yourself.Wake up!! see around you..there are beautiful nice and far better girls and friends who are waiting for you.Seize the moments and refresh your mind..Life is always moving so you must too.All the best you can do are the best,,You are a FIGHTER!!!
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
April 30th, 2015 9:03pm
You're letting the memories of the good times dominate your mind. Think of the good things that are happening in the now, not in the past.
August 31st, 2015 11:48pm
What are you doing that makes you remember them? Are you trying to do things different to focus your attention elsewhere.
July 12th, 2016 2:09pm
When you have been in a relationship with someone and it ends you will spend time grieving. You would have made plans together and had a routine that now has changed because you are not with them. It takes a little time to readjust and find yourself again. Soon you will find yourself feeling happy again andd the feelings fade in time.
December 6th, 2016 12:56pm
A person that has been an integral part of your life is never easy to forget. And truth be told, I don't think one has to 'forget' that person. There are so many things that you might have learned while being with that person - the time with will in my experience always be part of your life, the question is how you choose to look at it, I guess.
May 2nd, 2017 9:17pm
When we date someone, they become a huge part of our lives, and our routines. Humans are creatures of habit, so when we go through a break up, it can be incredibly hard to have to change our entire lives without someone that's been present for so long. I think this, along with the fact that you can't just turn off your feelings for someone, can make it feel very hard to let someone go. I think we should remember that it can be done, and while it might feel hard now, it gets so much easier as time passes.
August 7th, 2017 2:35am
i believe it's only normal to miss someone who was once special to you, even if you were together for only a short amount of time. however, time will heal all wounds, and i believe that things will be better for both of you soon, even if you don't end up together again.
April 10th, 2018 2:03pm
Forgiveness isn't easy for everyone, it largely varies from person to person. I always recommend giving it a try, rebuild if possible or at least attempt to reach out in your own time and revisit what happened and explain why you feel hurt, sometimes giving voice to those issues actually brings closure. If not forgive YOURSELF for being unable to forgive her and move on with your life in a positive direction.
April 16th, 2018 9:02pm
Devote your energy to things like school and work. It’ll keep your mind off of her. Do something you like to do, personally I like watching pretty woman while baking but i have to be careful with that becase I tend to eat the cookies:)
May 22nd, 2018 11:38pm
It is probably because you have alot of memories and things that remind you of her. And it also gets hard if you have been with her for long. Try letting go of the things that hold you back it might help with the moving on. It might be slow. But try moving with new people and going to different places. That helps alot.
November 24th, 2020 5:54pm
Rejection is learned and how we cope with it when we are young. No one wants to feel rejected, and when something recent, like a breakup just occurred--it is often at the forefront of our mind. Take time and self-love time for yourself although it may be hard right now. Gratitude is an awesome coping technique to remind ourselves of things we can appreciate. Finding love in things you are passionate about can clear our mind and we can become present. Volunteering, or becoming a listener on 7cups is also a way to experience humility and you may realize your troubles are not as bad as they could be.