Why is it so hard for parents to understand their kids?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 02/05/2018 at 9:13am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Geib, LCSWR

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

1:1 daily live chat sessions. - My therapy is non-judgmental and focuses on emotions and motivation to accomplish your goals or overcome your struggles.

Top Rated Answers
naturalSmiles77 - Expert in Parenting
March 11th, 2015 8:08am
Parents don't have the same experiences or circumstances that their kids have. Often times, what they believe is based off of their own experiences, which often leads to misunderstanding.
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
October 26th, 2015 4:31pm
I think that kids are the ones that don't understand parents because parents grew up already they lived their life and they know what some choices you make will affect you in a way. Your parents are right most of the time just hear them out.
Iauren - Expert in Parenting
March 1st, 2016 8:20pm
It might be difficult for a parent to understand their kids because they have never encountered an experience like yours. I can relate to this, my parents never truly understood the things that went through my mind or why I had certain interests.
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
June 9th, 2015 11:10pm
Speaking strictly from personal experience, it's difficult for parents to understand their kids because of the change of society. What the parents grew up with may just be a memory or something that their kids refer to as "old school". If parents keep up with what's going on in today's youth demographic, they will be able to better understand their children.
cristiana33
July 11th, 2015 8:40pm
I believe the hardest moment is when parents notice how their children have their own choices and won't follow their parents path. If you, as a parent, are willing to let your kid have the freedom of choosing his own path of life, no matter how different is it from your own, you will have it easier to be your kids' friend. Parents tend to treat their kids' life like it is their 2nd chance for things they couldn't do at the right time.
Alwaysdreamin
April 7th, 2015 9:43pm
Kids. They are hard to understand. They live with us yet they have their own ideas, thoughts, personalities, and interests. Add to this that they are constantly growing and changing right before our eyes. It is no wonder they are hard to understand. I have trouble understanding my 3 kids as well sometimes. Try to keep the lines of communication open and let them know they can talk with you about anything. Hopefully, they will come to you when they need something. Also, tell them about you. Tell them stories about you as a child. They will get to know you better and be more open to talking about themselves. Try not to force them to talk but they will eventually talk if they know that they can talk to you about anything at all. Keep up to date on child development as they are always entering new stages. These stages bring new challenges but also bring new and wonderful things to discover about your kids.
DarkAlly
May 31st, 2016 12:47pm
It's hard for parents to understand their kids because even when they think they are involved enough to know their kid, there are many aspects in their kids life that they don't see, or that they don't get.
Greatlistener87
May 31st, 2016 4:32am
Parents do the best they can on what they know. This is influenced by their past experiences and their bringing up. Try sitting down and explaining how u feel and how u would like to deal with the situation.
moitrois713
October 4th, 2016 6:51pm
This goes both ways. Parents think they understand their kids because they were kids once, too. At the same time, if you're a teen, you're in between. In their eyes, you're too young to be thinking about certain things and they think you don't understand some stuff and should stay out of it. At the same time, they expect you to be all grown-up and mature, and responsible because "you're old enough to understand that now". Neither here, nor there. You're confused because you don't want to play hide and seek with the little kids at a party, but also, their adult conversations are too boring for you. Teens are misunderstood because parents and other adults have such a wide range of expectations from us, and in trying to meet all of them at once, we do get frustrated. No one but a teen can really understand what that's like, even if they once were a teen.
Szuz
April 28th, 2015 11:50pm
It's so hard for parents to understand their kids because they've forgotten what it was like for their parents to understand them.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2015 11:27am
There can be several reasons for misunderstandings between parents and kids. One of the barriers is the way society is continually changing. That means our world when we were growing up is not their world. Their world has different challenges than our's did. Another barrier is not spending a sufficient amount of time together so that we can get to know each other. When they are busy in their world and we are busy in our's, there is not opportunity to connect. There need to be planned times of sharing. One such time is the family dinner table. This should be guarded at all costs. Studies show how important this one aspect of family really is. Other traditions should be established as well. In our family, one of those weekly traditions is going to church.
NikkiHereToHelp
November 14th, 2016 11:28am
Because parents just want the best for you and sometimes it's hard to show concern and love in a way it don't come off as not understanding or caring.
savlilley
December 5th, 2017 10:43pm
They don’t understand what they’re going through or the children are to scared to tell their parents
gentleSky95
February 5th, 2018 9:13am
See its not like they do not understand u.they do but till s certain extent.there will always be some generation gap.but parents will make u aware for somethingd because they had their person experience about certain things.even u cannot fully hnderstand your parent untill u yourself become a parent.and parents never do anything that is bad for u.so trust them