Why do i verbally degrade myself whenever something goes wrong?
Last Updated: 12/08/2020 at 4:36am
Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.
Top Rated Answers
Many people verbally degrade themselves as a form of punishing themself for making a mistake. Consider keeping track of accomplishments (even small ones!) and rewarding yourself for the things you achieve.
Because that is your default response. When you first learned to say please and thank-you, you had to be reminded each and every time; now you do it automatically. Using a more supportive message when you do something wrong can be easily learned! Simply replace the degrading response with a loving response each and every time. All it takes is practice. I like to speak to myself the same way that I would to a cherished friend. My favorite response to myself and others is: "its okay to make mistakes while we learn."
Could be the result of low self esteem. It will be worthwhile to look into this behavior and clarify the dynamic behind it.
You may feel a sense of shame when things do not go according to plan. When we feel shame, we verbally degrade ourselves because we believe it is what we deserve. Often times, when we are younger, we are taught that we should be punished if we do something wrong or if something goes wrong. There is a belief that by punishing ourselves in some manner, the act won't happen again or that punishing ourselves will somehow fix the situation. Repeat after me: "I am doing the best I can, and that is more than enough". You deserve to look at things going wrong as an opportunity to learn and grow.
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