Has it been hard for other people, that are a part of the LGBTQ community, to have an open relationship in front of parents/ loved ones, even though they know you are LGBTQ?
19 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Nov 24, 2020
Anonymous
on
Feb 16, 2015
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Of course. Just because they "know" doesn't mean they understand. They can be supportive all they want, but I know deep inside they are uncomfortable and that makes me uncomfortable being completely open.
We’re here for LGBTQ+
Aayla
on
Sep 30, 2019
LGBTQ+ Issues Expert
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It can still be difficult after the coming out. Internalized fears that have been with us for a long time are hard to defeat. But it is possible, by making one little step at a time, trying to find your strength in people's support, by sharing your fears with your partner and working on it together. It will get better with time!
Anonymous
on
Apr 5, 2015
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I'm asexual , my parents don't know it and I can't even find a partner , but if I did , it would be really hard to.
mysteriousWillow50
on
Apr 10, 2015
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It can be hard for anyone, regardless of where you sit on the spectrum of sexuality and gender. To have an open relationship, especially if one is of the LGBTQ community is a bit more difficult as it's not being as openly accepted by society as an entirety just yet. And with that, loved ones may accept things because of their love for you, but at the same time don't quite fully understand as they're not of the same mind set in the gender spectrum or of something similar that helps them relate.
Anonymous
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Apr 16, 2015
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At first it is hard, for me I found it painful to even think about. All I could focus on was how disappointed they would be in me, how I wasnt their perfect daughter. I couldn't fight who I was. When I introduced my first girlfriend to my parents, they had postive reactions, to my surprise they got on incredibly well.I was so pleased and I was never prouder to have the parents I did.
Anonymous
on
Jun 10, 2015
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I find it about hard yes from my experience. I came out to my Mom over Facebook messenger and we hardly actually talk about it.
serenePresence54
on
Nov 16, 2015
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Yes, it can be very hard. Even with family members that seem accepting they still feel uncomfortable with seeing it rather than talking about it. You should not let this get you down though because by just continuing on they will adjust and get used to it, the initial shock will wear off.
cuteava
on
Jan 5, 2016
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it depends on their views of lbgtq, they may be accepting of it, or sadly they may not be. but you can change peoples opinions. some relationships with parents/loved ones are unaffected but others may not be.
Anonymous
on
Jan 25, 2016
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for some people yes, it is incredibly hard. as some parents/loved ones know about it, but do not accept it.
Greatlistener87
on
May 30, 2016
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It really depends on the individual. Some people are quite open and will be able to accept and move forward. While others need the time and effort to do so.
Other
on
Aug 8, 2016
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As a Gay Teen I experience massive passive pressure from my older brother. He doesn't say anything, but I know he will judge me if I come back home with a guy. It helps me remember that I live my life for myself, not for him. If I want to date a guy, I will.
Anonymous
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Sep 19, 2016
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Yes it is! No matter that I came out as a lesbian to my dearest friends I still feel uncomfortable when I am talking about my girlfriend with them as I feel like they are judging me deep inside. But I don't think it's true, probably your loved ones are happy you came out to them and they want you to be happy!v
tranquilCentaur
on
Nov 7, 2016
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Absolutely. There's a little tension between an LGBTQIA+ community member and general society, and that would definitely include family. There's always a fear of sudden rejection or being stereotyped, not to mention possibly being hurt by loved ones out of a sudden change of heart.
BradyHero
on
Jan 9, 2017
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At times, it can be difficult. Even if some people in your family know that you are LGBTQ+, they may be less than approving or believe that your sexuality or gender is just a phase. Being out and in a relationship can be difficult to handle for any LGBTQ+ person, especially around your family. It is most important to remember that your identity is valid and to know that, no matter what anyone else thinks, they can't change who you are.
Heartbeat2703
on
Jun 6, 2017
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Yeah i still feel out of place even though i've been out for over a year now, luckily my girlfriends really supportive and doesn't get offended if i don't invite her places with my family.
UntilThen
on
Jul 17, 2017
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Yes, the first partner you introduce after coming out is always a little strange for everyone. That's the moment when they forced to internalize it if they hadn't before.
PuckisaDuck
on
May 30, 2018
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It has been, yes. For me personally, it’s just the thought of having an open relationship in general, but I know that there are also people who experience this only with LGBTQ relationships, yes.
Anonymous
on
Nov 23, 2020
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yes. many, many people struggle with that. you're not alone. parents/ loved ones just time and space to process and once they've had that they usually come around. be nice and ease them into it and things should go well.
that is all I have to say so I hope this helps! stay strong, be nice and share the love
Anonymous
on
Nov 24, 2020
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You are definitely not alone in this situation. I have felt this way too. It can especially be hard if it is your first homosexual relationship. It is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with who you choose to love. I am sure your parents want to see you happy, no matter who you choose to love. It is important to be open and honest with those around you. Communication is key and could definitely give you some answers you may need. Your happiness is important, don't forget that. You are not alone in this situation and there are many people who care about you!