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Tbigbro278
9,633 M Pacing Forward 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts76 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2017 Member sinceApril 9, 2015
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Gay Fart/Butt Fetish Toxic Shame
Relationship Stress / by Tbigbro278
Last post
March 9th, 2017
...See more I have been ashamed of my gay fart/ ass fetish for so long that it has manifested into shame fir the very person I am. Please help. I dont feel like being around anyone because I just feel so ashamed of myself and completely isolate myself from everyone. I just shut myself in and hate myself for getting off to guys farting and guys with huge butts. I cant shake it, and I cant live this way anymore.
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Bisexual Shame
Depression Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
January 21st, 2017
...See more I am done. I cannot live this way anymore. I cant stand walking around seeing the world full of life and passion, while I cant seem to figure out why I have none. Literally none. My gpa is plummiting in college. Me and my girlfriend broke up after 2 years. I have no energy to even try to be social. I absolutely CANNOT stop isolating myself from the world around me and I spend all my time alone. Then I get so lonely, I panic. I want the world to reach out to me and invite me to be a part of it, but I cant help but avoid every opportunity for that to happen. I cannot stress enought that literally NOTHING interests me about life at this point. I used to have my gf to always hangout with but now I have nobody. Even with her, I was guarded. I want people to know who I am but I dont even know who I am and as much as I try to figure it out for gods sake I cant. And as a junior in college most people arent looking for new friends. Everyone has there group. I also recently realized I am bisexual, and my attraction to guys has caused deep rooted shame that I cannot overcome. I havent told a single person about these thoughts, and I think I am even trying to keep it a secret from myself. I just cant accept it. I dont feel like I deserve to live. I have been in therapy and was very honest. I have said everything there is to say. I just want to sleep forever. It is the only escape from the reality of isolation and shame I hae created for myself. I just cant do this anymore. Please. help me.
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I want friends but dont want friends
Depression Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
December 3rd, 2016
...See more Hey guys I am 20 and in college. I have no social life because I avoid social encounters and dont know how to have friends. I have "friends" in the sense that a lot of people know me and like me from a distance, but nobody really knows me because I dont let people near me. I think this stems from self confidence issues I have hd my whole life. I am a good looking guy and I know thats what most people think of me. But I feel soooo ugly all the time. Like I just need to hide. I dont like myself at all and never have. I just want to leave this world. I cant bear living like this anymore. How can I get to a place of unconditional self-love and self-confidence. Please please please help me. I will take any advice. If you took the time to read this please tell me what I should do and help me out.
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At my breaking point
Depression Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
November 20th, 2016
...See more I haven't been to class in a week. I have slept all day everyday for the past week. I don't eat. I have no interest in having friends but want friends so bad at the same time. I only feel comfortable in isolation. I have blown off my responsibilities. I am in therapy, and on a new antidepressant and I just dont know where else to turn. I have wanted to break up with my girlfriend because she doesnt make me happy anymore. Literally nothing does and has for a while. I give up. The only peace I get is by sleeping all the time and then I wake up to check my phone. No texts. Nobody would care if I just never left my room. This makes me isolate even more. I am sick of talking to people. I am sick of being awake. Talking to my family doesnt make me happy either. I hate myself. I just dont know how to turn this around. Help.
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Stuck in terms of my Relationship
Depression Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
November 16th, 2016
...See more I love my girlfriend. I really do, we have been together for about 1.5 years. She supports me through my depression ever since I opened up to her about it. Honestly I feel like nobody else cares about me but her and that alone makes me sad. Because I feel like I am not in a place where I can be in a relationship anymore. I cant take her worrying so much. I feel awful and if I cant love myself (who I actually hate) then how can I commit to a relationship. However I know it would break her heart because she loves me and cannot bear a long period of time without me. I dont know what to do. I know it is about my life, but either option seems unfair to her. Who am I going to confide in at this point too? I dont want it to be at the expense of the relationship. Please help people I feel so alone and hopeless.
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Nobody cares
Depression Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
November 12th, 2016
...See more I am a college student lying in bed which I havent left yet today because I skipped all of my classes. Then I check my phone in the afternoon to no texts. That is what kills me. Nobody gives a shit if I leave my room or not and I think thats what keeps me in here. Help.
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Junior in College with No Friends
Depression Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
November 11th, 2016
...See more Hi everyone. I am a 20 year old male in college and I have no friends. My depression has become a really huge issue. Going into my freshman year I felt like I couldn't find my place in a group and it made me sad. I met a girl and we started dating which was great, but I got to meet all of her friends while I really had none to show for amd that stressed me out. I made a friend in one person that wasnt really a friend at all. He left after this year anyways so my sophomore year I felt like such a loner. It was a year of never wanting to do anything or talk to anyone. And now, as a junior, things are at an all time low. I feel like I have no friends, but also dont act like I want any so I get why people dont approach me. I hate myself so much. I feel like the relationship I am in isnt working anymore but at the same time she is there for me and the only realy person that makes me happy and knows about how bad my depression is. I am always sleeping. I skip all of my classes and my grades are falling apart. There is nothing I want to get up for. I laid in bed until 4pm today and missed all of my classes. I avoid social encounters even with people I know. There is nothing I even like to do alone. It is really bad right now guys. Starting my third antidepressant now. I just dont know how to continue life this way.
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Done with it- Anxiety in College
Anxiety Support / by Tbigbro278
Last post
April 13th, 2015
...See more I am an 18, soon to be 19 year old freshman at a small private catholic college. I suffer from severe social anxiety and truly can't handle it anymore. I see a therapist, but it is so bad I am always depressed and feel like killing myself constantly. I am just so sick of feeling this way. I wake up every morning wanting to be gone, feeling like nobody would care if I was alive or not. I tend to willingly do things on my own out of fear of others. To other people, Im sure it seems like I don't want to talk or be bothered, but the truth is a sense of belongingness is ALL I think about, dream about. I just want to feel like I have friends. In high school I had my small group of friends that were really close since elementary school. Now that I am away at college I find myself wanting to escape everyone. Whether I am at school, or home for the weekend, I just feel so depressed. I get heart palpitations, my hands sweat profusely, and I literally hate almost everything about myself. I have a girlfriend at school, but I feel like she, along with everyone I meet, secretly doesn't like me. I feel this way because I don't even like myself. I suffer from constant panic attacks and to everyone around me I am the quiet kid. I have no interests, because managing my anxiety has become my most prominent hobby. This is getting progressively worse by the day and I just can't handle it. The weird thing is I'm not sure what has psychologically caused this. I really have hit a breaking point.
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