can someone please shake me by the shoulders and scream at me
hey everyone, hope you're all well!
I have so many things I'd like to journal about here on 7cups, but it's all quite overwhelming, and so in this post I'm just going to ask y'all for one thing. You can say it feels like I'm hanging on by the thinnest thread imaginable, and like I'm balancing a precious glass cup with just the tips of my fingers.
Can you please write a comment screaming at me to take it easy and that everything is okay and will be okay? I'm only 23 years old and I finally (after many more years than I expected of healing, working through trauma, facing fears, etc) really feel like I'm courageous enough to commit to the life I have always known I've wanted and deserve, but this last bit of hesitation left in my body and the knowledge that time will not wait for me is making me feel the weight of everything I've been mentally preparing for crushing down on me, all at once, and I am TERRIFIED, can anyone with more experience, maturity, and wisdom than me please reassure me that I'm going to be okay? Because I keep thinking, what if I won't be and what if it won't work out? What if this really is it, and I was always going to be too late?
YOUVE GOT THIS DUDE!!! WE BELIEVE IN YOU <3
(You told us to scream. Lol)
@jesusredeemedme2425 THANKS DUDE <3 I NEEDED THIS
What are you worried about doing?
I was abused for 34 years of my life at 34 went into a date treatment program when I went in I was in very bad shape when I came out years later I had like 90% of healing. It is possible for healing. I think it’s important that we get a positive support system we put in the work if we really want to heal there’s a certain amount of healing that we have to do learn to love ourselves, and I also find that by being a listener on cops, we help each other and it has increased even more healing for me. You’re younger than when I started, and it can happen so much faster and earlier for you than it did with me you will be OK but please believe in you believe in the power of healing and I don’t know what your faith is but try to believe in a higher power. The way I look at it many of us may never meet in many of us will we all are on a different journey and yet and somewhere or another we all have similar stories we all have different stories and yet our pain a lot of it is very much the same we identify with each other and we walk together hand and hand on this journey, we call lifeand together we will win for me the way I also look at it if I should do anything stupid and not only fail myself, my family, but each and every one of you so with me I have to be strong and do that for everyone that suffers
I won't scream.
Whatever happens, you'll grow from it.
@peaceandblessings
Keeping positive and keeping people in your corner always a good thing. Having friends to talk too Most important thing is your strong and that is your weapon of courage use that
You dont need to fix anything, you are enough
Your worst traits and mistakes dont define you. you are a summation.
You are work in progress, No one has it all figured out.
Take pride in how far you have come.
You are worthy and you matter
you are the only you to ever exist.
trying to be someone else is waste of the person that you are..
Wow, thanks to everyone who left a comment! I appreciate the support more than you can know. This community has always been there when I'm feeling low, and I'm so grateful.
I want to know how you guys deal with the pain of realizing you're a late bloomer, what do you do to not allow other people's opinions or lack of praise for you make you feel bad about yourself, and how do you manage to keep believing that you will one day feel proud of yourself? More specifically, how do you believe in yourself enough to accomplish goals that seem scary or that you have failed in the past but want to try again? Sometimes I find myself avoiding accomplishing something that I'm aware I can do, because of how scary it seems that something can go wrong, like something out of my control. But most of all, how do you consistently believe in yourself and not let others' opinions of you let you believe what they say is true?
If i put on my theory hat for a lecture, i would say, its a behaviour with many possibile reasons.
Seeking validations from others because of insecurity or lack of trust of your own judgement about yourself
Obsession with objectivity (common in overthinkers like me) , and relying on others opinion for it, instead of our own rational.
Seeking others (and hence their approval) due to loneliness , lacking belonging, purpose and meaning (i would say this is universal)
These reasons are not mutually exclusive.
I think 1 and 2 are related. Often our insecurities are things we objectively believe to be true. For example i "look" physically weak, because of my uncommon metabolism, but very recently i found out that i actually do have strength (equivalent to average person), i just dont look like it.
What im trying to say is our insecurities are often misunderstood traits, because it is indeed true that i do "look" weak/thin, it is a trait of mine, but i misunderstood it as actually "being" weak or unattractive or any negative label, and built whole lot of negativity around it.
The reason we Doubt ourselves (that is, the opposite of believing in self) is because we forget that believing in our own self / our capabilities is almost a fundamental need of human psychy. Its like instead of using a machine (say a computer) for its intended work, we keep evaluating whether the machine is good enough to do the intended work (all the time).
This is possible because thinking has no limits, its unbounded, especially in overthinkers like me, and there is also a bit of negative bias towards self in most people's thinking.
This is why self compassion, self love/care, positivity, gratitude are a necessity in day to day life for Normal functioning of our psychy. When its missing we start seeing chronic doubts, anxieties everyday.
@eternalMusic21 You are very wise. #2 was kind of a lightbulb moment for me.
@peaceandblessings I have been a late bloomer in some things, like socially and in some ways financially, while not in other things. So I feel like I can relate in some ways. The main reason I wanted to write to you is because I’ve noticed throughout my life (I’m about 50) that people will judge and criticize no matter what you do. It doesn’t matter if you’re a “late bloomer”, or if you were to have done certain things early or at different times. Some people (a lot of people) ((most people, in my experience)) have a critical spirit. They feel like they have to say something, as it validates some insecurity inside them. The old idea of putting someone else down to make yourself feel better. Or some people are just uncomfortable with silence and say anything to fill the air. You could spend your whole life trying to do things a certain way in order to avoid people’s little jabs (I’ve spent far too many years doing this), and all you will end up with are a lot of regrets for not just being yourself, feeling at peace, and doing things for you. You are young and still at the beginning of your life with so many possibilities ahead of you. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. If there are things you think you could have done differently for You, then just gently tell yourself it was a learning experience that you will take with you moving forward. We all have those, they are an inevitable part of life and growth. Some successes are impossible to achieve without having some setbacks first to get us there like stepping stones.
I won’t scream at you but I will scream with you. You are a part of a wonderful community here. You are heard, accepted and appreciated here.
