Say Hello! We want to meet all 40 year old members!
Yes, over 40 & feeling lonely. This is a feeling I had my entire life. This feeling just get more intense.
@generousMoon9614 Hi. It really feels weird in your 40s as things shift to a "center age" and later-years kind of mentality. Makes you really alter some perceptions, at least in my experience. You find yourself turning around and wondering-- "Where did all those decades even GO?" or "What does it all mean anyway?" And it DOES amplify many feelings you have had in your earlier years.
I also have felt more lonely in my forties. I never married nor had children-- which I am fine with generally speaking. But when all your previous friends have moved on in their lives and become intently focused on their home fires burning, and nowhere else, life can seem a very empty place. I would like to find others in similar positions that also have similar interests to mine, so that we can enrich each others' lives. I feel that would lessen some of that empty feeling.
I hope you have some luck doing something like that here, if such is also your goal. There is a great 35+ chatroom that funnels a lot of us together. You may want to give it a try. I find it a soothing, fun, and caring place to chat with like-aged and like-minded individuals. I'd love to see you there.
Great to have met you!
@generousMoon9614 so there as well. Not sure when the disconnect happened, but yes, the lonely feeling has been growing and not getting any easier.
WRITING AS AN OUTLET:
I TAKE WRITING SERIOUSLY AS THE BEST FORM OF EXSPRESSION FOR ME. WHEN I WRITE I FEEL STRONG POWERFUL AND ON TOP OF THE WORLD. I LET MY THOUGHTS FLOW OUT IN ELECTRONIC FORM AND I WILL NEVER LOSE ANY WORDS EVER. I WRITE BECAUSE I LIKE PIECEING THINGS TOGETHER. GET ALL THE THOUGHT OUT NO MATTER WHAT I WRITE. I SAY WHATS ON MY MIND LET MY FEELINGS OUT, DESCRIBE A FEW THINGS. WHEN I WRITE I NO HOW TO CONNECT SENTENCES AND PUT THOUGHTS TOGETHER, SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS UNDERSTOOD AND EXPLAINS EVERYTHING IN FORMAT. IF IM MAD I USE FOUL LANGUAGE. IF IM HAPPY ILL BE VERY POSITIVE. I LIKE UNDERSTANDING AND FIGURING THINGS OUT AND WRITING HELPS ME DO THAT OTHER PEOPLE ALSO UNDERSTAND WHAT I WRITE AND CAN RELATE.. IF SOMEONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH ME, I WRITE HOW I FEEL I UNDERSTAND IT AND I GET MYSELF OF THE HOOK FOR TAKING BLAME BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO WRITE AND HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. I LIKE FIGURING THINGS OUT AND I ALWAYS HAVE THE ANSWER AND THE SOLUTIONS TO MY PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTY. I AM IN TOUCH WITH MYSELF AND MY FEELINGS THRU MY WRITING AND KNOBODY ELSE WOULD EVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE ME OUT. IF IM CONFUSED WHAT T8 WRITE I CHOP IT UP AND DONT WORRY ABOUT CONNECTING OR UNDERSTANDING ITBUT I ALWAYS DO. I UNDERSTAND WHAT I FEELHOW I THINK AND MY EXPERIENCE. NOT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS YOU OR LIKES WHAT YOU SAY, SO I WRITE IT AND I KNOW NOBODY JUDGING ME OR DISAGREEING WITH ME. I WRITE BOOKS BECAUSE IM SMART AND CONFIDENT AND AFTER IM WRITING I HAVE NO
Hello I just turned 40 and I'm freaking out!! My oldest daughter just turned 23 and my youngest is 16. I can't believe how fast my life went by. I feel like I was in my 20's and blinked and I am 40.
@Csego Don't worry! Your life isn't over yet. It just feels that way when a giant sign with the number 40 pops up on that infamous birthday and whacks us a reality check. Hahaha.
Things can be fantastic in your 40s and 50s. Let's all find that out. I maintain a small amount of hope that my life can get better in my forties, since my 30s were a disaster!
Welcome to the forum!
@ladylazarus1971 thank you for your support and encouragement. I'm going through a midlife crisis and no one else seems to understand. My husband is 45 and has taken to aging gracefully. To him 40 doesn't feel any different than turning 18. Every day I feel more useless.
@Csego Very sorry to hear what a rough adjustment it is for you. Wasn't smooth for me either. By 45, I have now mostly given up whining about my own issues. Took me 5 years though! You'll probably get there much faster than I did.... <3
I am finding it very difficult and scary in my 40s. I am not married and have no family. Adult bullying is worse as I get older. Hate going to work where i am constantly made fun of. Can't quit my job because I am very afraid of being unemployed and being without a home, i don't think it's any different then being in my 20 or 30s. I am not as carefree as I used to be. I wish "older adults" would stop making fun of pople. It's really worse as I age. On the outside. I look normal happy, successful and carefree. But inside I have so many scars from adult bullying and I finally after all these years have finally realized what the word "hate" means. I mean people really hate me. But I keep going on....
@Nanci You'd think people would "grow up" when they grow up. But some of them simpy don't. It's a dang chame.
So sorry you are dealing with such an uncomfortable set of circumstances.
@Nanci hi Nanci! Wow its like I couldve written everything you said. I am in your boat. Know that youre not alone in your loneliness :) I too have increased difficulties at work. In my case I work with many millennials. And bullying takes a different form. Exclusion is one. Condescendingly undermining me is another. And My depression and general anxiety increases when I go to work, causing me to be unable to concentrate, pay attention, follow a single task. And the worse it gets the worse it gets. I came to 7cup prompted by my fear of losing my job every day... which is paralyzing.
i cant say I have advice for you. But st least know youre not alone.
I'm 46 and stuck with my career. I've been at my job for 10 years and feel like I'm getting greater responsibility, but am becoming more invisible and my opportunities for new jobs are waning as I age. I am either too ambitious for my skill set or lack the confidence to shake it off and get a new job. Probably both. But a lot of my identity is wrapped into my career and I can't figure out how to move on successfully.
It is not easy at all to break free of a rut. Have you considered trying a new hobby outside work? Sometimes that can help you see work in a new way as your brain expands. Then it is easier to make career decisions.@amicableAcres4971
@bestVase7265 thank you for your thoughtfulness. I'm grateful. I took up strength training a year ago and that's really helped me feel more positive. I have been focusing on connecting more with friends, and colleagues who may be able to help. I've been applying and have gotten far a couple of times, but for jobs I'm not excited about or the pay sucks worse than my current job, and that's saying something. So I'm stressed about retirement,and feeling like I need to take that next step before I hit 50 and my job opportunities evaporate. It's weird confronting all the limitations of shrinking time.
All that said, I know I'm lucky that this is the biggest problem in my life. I just don't want to settle yet. Thank you again.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Don't settle at any age. Just keep trying and exactly what you are looking for will jump into your lap when you aren't expecting it.@amicableAcres4971
@amicableAcres4971 You always have to be upgrading your skill set.. and at some point.. you either have to go the Manager.. or Consultant route.. because there are more and more dead-end jobs.. and more and more unemployed people driving down the price. If you have skills.. then Consulting can be very rewarding.. if you need the stability.. Managment is a different type of work... but can be challenging, and its useful to have life skills
Hey, everybody. Finally stumbled across this part of the forums and figured I'd better say hello. I'm 44, married straight cis-male Christian guy. Dealing with depression, unrequited love with a long history, and chronic unemployment. My wife and I don't have children, so the thought of what happens to us when we get old is starting to creep into my concerns as well. So, with that happy note, glad to be part of the group. 
I'm 48, don't have any friends, don't work at job outside my home, not married, no bf...very lonely....it's extremely hard for me to get out in the world...i want to go to church tomorrow but i'm not sure that I will...
@Turtledreams Welcome to the community! I know we aren't friends outside your house, but if you let us, we will be a great support system. Who knows? We may even be able to help get you out back in the outer world again.
Thanks for saying hello.
@ladylazarus1971
Thank you so much lady...that really means a lot to me!
@Turtledreams I just joined a few days. I can relate to not having any friends. I find it's harder the older we get. Sometimes I feel it's easier to talk to strangers. How are things going for you?
@indigo8744
hi there indigo...i agree, it's much harder making frieinds are you get older. I took up swing dancing and found it's a great way to meet new people. it was terribly anxiety inducing in the beginning, but now i really enjoy it
@indigo8744
That is so true its harder to make friends. I say this cause I just moved to a new state and unless I get out there and join some things, I'm going to end up very bored LOL Good thing that I didnt move far from my home state HAHA
@Turtledreams. You should try going to church. You will find the support network that you need. God bless. Jedi.
Hello - I am 43. I am from the US, but I had been working outside the country and just recently moved back due to a job loss. I'm here to help myself deal with lonlieness issues as well as some increasingly difficult family issues. If anyone has ever worked out of the country and then had trouble re-adjusting to life back home when they returned, I'd love to hear your story and your coping strategies.
@danbrown7 Tagging in @NothingGold, since you two may have some similar concerns to discuss.
@danbrown, welcome to 7 Cups and the Forum! I hope you find what you're looking for.
@ladylazarus1971 Thank you! :)
@danbrown7 Nice to meet you! I'm about to go through the same thing - moving back to Canada after working abroad for 10 years. I'm looking forward to going back but can already see a lot of the challenges that I'm going to face.
Feel free to follow me and let me know how you're doing - sounds like we're in very similar boats. :) Take care.
Hello everyone,
1) I am 43 and have an amazing wife and three young daughters
2) I am currently struggling through my first clinical depressive episode in 15 years.
3) I love books, nature, and my faith is everything to me.
@tealZebra119 Glad you're here! It's nice to make your aquaintance. Don't be a stranger.
Hello all. I'm 42, married with two kids. They are wonderful and I have a job I really love. Life should be great but lately my depression has returned and I find myself struggling. There are a number of stressors in my life at the moment and I just don't feel like doing anything, even the things I enjoy. I'm grateful to find this community and to finally admit to myself that my depression is back. Hopefully now I can get to work on facing it.
@impartialThinker7317 You are welcome here. I hope you can find ways to make Cups work for you. Especially in the 35+ community. People here are so supportive! Give the chtroom a try. It's really good once you settle in.
@impartialThinker7317 good luck and hope this is a positive step forward.
@impartialThinker7317