Struggles faced in your 30s - share them here
Loneliness is my biggest struggle. All my friends are married with/out kids and I am still singl . I have the added responsibility of taking care of a disabled parent and grandparent full time. I have no person to be with intimately or otherwise. I have no best friend. That is my biggest struggl .
I hear you about loneliness. Everyone I know are all married too, and one by one, they are getting pregnant. I can't even call them my friends, as we have no interaction, but they are just people I've known when we went to school together. I'm a loner, no friends whatsoever. The only so called "friends" I have are coworkers, but it's not like we hang out for coffee/beer on our days off. So, I can't really call them friends. My parents are retired, so I'm the one bringing home the income with my career. I'm unable to save money, although it'd be 2 years in June of working at this new job. I should've had a lot saved up already. But, I only have a quarter of what I should have left. It's hard when there's no one to share my thoughts with. In my 33 years of life, I've only been in one relationship, that lasted less than 2 years. I fear of growing old as a single, and die without anyone realizing because I don't have friends around me. I keep hearing others around me, that in life, we depend on each other for survival, but what if I don't have anyone to depend on? Doesn't that make my life look like there's no purpose to it?!~
@PersistenceResistence
You hit the nail on the head for me with your reply. I do fear of being alone as I lose my family. I have been able to save up as I am not the sole income but I have nowhere to go. My brother is busy living his life with his girlfriend and I am trapped taking care of sick and elderly relatives. I do not resent taking care of them at all but I feel the pressure. I also have friends that are from school and although I am fortunate that I am close to only two, I am isolated by being more than 60 miles away. I would be there now living in the same city if not for my family members. My only relationship was relatively short and I have seen enough bad examples to sour my view. As for work friends I have none, I often feel like I annoy them. They all have little groups outside of work but I am never included. I feel like i am just an observer in life with no real purpose of my own. That in was put here on this earth to be in the background, seen but not heard and never to be valued as an individual but by only what I can provide to others.
@Jaeteuk
My brother is getting a divorce after 3 years of marriage, so he has moved back home with my parents and I. Especially now, with most companies where the staff is asked to work at home, he has moved back. Unless his wife says she's free to look after their dog, then he would go back to the downtown area just to drop off the dog at daycare; so she can pick up the dog after her shift. Luckily, my brother is in charge of the mortgage of our house as it's under his name when we bought it, and I just help with the expenses (electric/internet/phone bill..etc).
I know I have a problem when it comes to friends and trust. I have one too many incidents during my school days that my friends abandoned our friendship when I started revealing that I suffer from depression. I was first diagnosed in 5th or 6th grade, but when I went to see a Psychologist during my high school years, we backtracked that my depression stemmed from 3rd Grade. So, it's been 20+ years.
I'm literally depressed and lonely. It's hard when family doesn't understand my depression, so I suffer alone with no one to share my problems/thoughts with. Luckily I found 7Cups about 3 years ago, and it has been my breathing hole. But, I still believe I need someone in my social life who can be physically and mentally here for me during my darker days~
@PersistenceResistence
@Jaeteuk
Yeah, i feel screwed. I have no one to lean on when my parents are gone. No one to care if I am doing well or if I am home at night or safe or even give me a hug. So, I am trying to toughen up and learn to reassure myself, comfort myself, be financially stable and understand money, as I have a life long journey to care for myself. Unfortunate but this life is not meant to be good for everyone. We need to.wait our days out.
@PersistenceResistence I feel your pain because I am also in that situation. For me am over 30 and I lost my grandparents last 2yrs. I lived with them since childhood and I was with them till they passed away. It's been difficult at my age without any family of my own, most of my school mates are all married with kids. I make desperate at at point that I lost my faith. I have come to realize that we don't own our lives but God does and in His own time He makes things beautiful. I believe He is preparing the right man for me since I have not been successful with the right man. Go out enjoy life, make good friends and have fellowship with him and in His own time, He will make you happy with the right man. Hope this helps.
@Biabia
Insha Allah everything will be fine , try to have friends even online , try to approach to God ( Allah ) he is the helper , i will pray for you
@PersistenceResistence
Similar boat!
@PersistenceResistence
Our hearts with you , try to have friends even faraway from you using internet it helps ,
I wish i can help , i will pray for you
I recently turned 30 and have been through a breaking transformation. Everything in my life collapsed and I literally found myself rebuilding from rock bottom once again.
However, 5 months in and I have worked through the pain, turmoil, suffering, grief and heartbreak. I'm starting to see the light. I have mourned the first three decades of my life and am now looking forward to being reborn at 30.
One of my hardest challenges (after the loss of loved ones and failed relationships of course) was seeing how I had worked for 15 years towards my dream career that didn't come into fruition how I had expected it.
From the outside, I had enjoyed a meteoric success. However, inside, I was heartbroken.
I'm still working that one out.
Either way, at 30, I'm not at all where I thought I would be.
But I'm ready to give it all another shot and see where this weird and wonderful life leads me...
I wish you all the very best too.
There is something unique to turning 30 that I had not formerly experienced.
All of the usual 'life chapter progressions' (5, 12, 18, 21, 25...) don't seem anywhere as impactful as this.
The big 3-0
@SilverbackTiger
You took the words out of my mouth! My like has collapsed too and career that I worked for 15 years, found out i might have ti go back to school for a semester to fix it. No relationship yet and my Mom died a few months ago. 30 is not the best.
@RedEmerald Very sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you.
Let's hope we make a major comeback that makes the journey worthwhile in the end!
@SilverbackTiger
Thanks I gave up on the schooling and feel much better. I am just going to focus on a job
@RedEmerald
Good luck!
In my 30's I faced a Divorce and that was a HUGE hit for me as I felt I let my entire family down. However I received the best advice from a friend as we were hanging out and that was "Just get Over It" Despite how Ibothered I was by the emotionless response it really did have emotion as he was absolutelty right. Once I focused on that mindset my life changed. At times I stilll get the feeling I failed, but realize all that I learned through that experience. And yes if I could go back I would do it again as I needed to learn form that and I wouldn't be as happy as I am these days if I changed anything as who knows were I would be.
My mom Verbally abused me and said during my IHSS hours I am so fucking tired of loading your fucking ass walker in the 🚘 And I am so fucking tired of your fucking ass special needs. All of this during my IHSS hours.
I'm 34, I turn 35 next month. I feel like I'm in my 20s with everything, meaning I feel so behind/feeling like it's going to take a long time to catch up. I live with my dad and his wife and she treats me like a child. She actually took my phone away last month for 10 days because she said I lied to her. I don't make enough money to afford my own place or afford much of anything. I'm inexperienced in relationships (and I feel so pathetic). I hate my job and I can't quit because my dad got me this job. I have zero friends. I've become lazy and gained weight. My life is the same thing over and over and I feel like it's never going to get better. I thought by now I'd have everything together, be living in a nice house, have a job I love, be in a relationship or married and lastly be happy. I can't even believe people when I'm told I have my whole future ahead of me. I feel so stuck in life and it feels like everyone is moving forward except me. I don't know what to do anymore.
@compassionateSpruce8482
I feel the same, very much stuck in life and nothing is budging and i have no idea how to make it.budge.
@compassionateSpruce8482 33 and much the same position. Things just seem to get worse and worse...
@compassionateSpruce8482
I feel the same way. I have such age anxiety because of it. I am like a 16 year old in my life accomplishments. I don't drive never really worked. I do have a nine year old son and live with my boyfriend. My three five birthday is Friday. I won't even go see my doctor vecauae I am so ashamed of myself. The weight gain, not taking my medication. Loding my babysitting job, etc. It sucks.
No ones coming. Something I tell myself to keep myself moving foward. But why Is there no one coming? Im tired of having no one. That's my struggle. Wanting someone. But don't know how to. I'm use to being alone.
@communicativePerson8185
Same struggle.
I am 31 and I am stressed about having a family of my own, babies etc...I got pregnant in the past and it didn't go well so now I am even more afraid...
@blueHickory43
That is scary but glad you got married, many never get married and die lonely
My special needs and my mom Neglecting neglecting my worsening condition
I'm getting even older and my hopes for future are getting everytime even more darker, i had hopes to have a family, gone, wanted to have a relationship, gone, now the only thing i have left is a sort of unfulfilled desire and lousy alternatives to barely cope them
@JohnDoe00 I am sorry that you are feeling like this... things do get us down sometimes but try to be positive and think positive thoughts. Be kind to yourself and be happy with yourself do things you enjoy ... life constantly changes with time :)
@JohnDoe00
Sounds like my life
@JohnDoe00
I am here if you want a listener to talk to! :) I have not made my way through to the other end but navigating the emotional rollercoaster. Fairly in the same place. No spouse, no kids, a job I am not happy with.
Starting everything over at 30... Feeling pretty lost...
There is a.whole bunch of people that are traveling with you. 30s is a rough time.
@SweetPearCrumble it sure is.
@
In the same place but at age 33. It sucks bigtime.
@yellowBike1922
Very relatable