After 35… life had other plans

@SimplyCompassionate

life has taken many twists and turns writing all the change in plans would take hours. 

I embraced the opportunity to see and do things I never saw myself doing before. I found looking back and wondering what if things were different is not constructive ... embrace the cards we are dealt. 

A lot has changed in the past two years: I’m two years sober, and moved across the country.

I love sobriety, breaking up with alcohol was one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself in my life. It’s amazing being able to wake up everyday and not feel so poor; it’s amazing being able to remember everything.

I’m coping with the move by going back to school. It’s been rough keeping myself employed out here, and I’m going on five months without a job. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do: I have a good resume, I fill out applications and send out resumes every day to everyone and anyone who might have an opening. And I’ve seen nothing but rejection. I’m so thankful that I have a supportive partner, because otherwise I would be homeless-it’s that bad. This small town doesn’t have anything I’m qualified for and I’m almost forty years old. It’s just so defeating, so I try not to focus on that anymore, and I’ve looked for things that I can do to improve my qualifications. So hopefully I’ll be able to find something, because I can tell it’s taking a toll on my partner who is doing everything to support us financially right now.

@SimplyCompassionate. I was on track to marrying someone I love very deeply. He decided he no longer wanted to go down that path and needed to "find himself".  He still texts me and comes by my house to "fix" things around myself or do some sort of work around my house once a week. I'm not handling it well. I try to understand that this is now what it is. A bunch of nothing. It's confusing and I'm in an inbetween state of letting him go completely or trying to figure out what's going to happen. 

@SimplyCompassionate

My life wasn’t the same after 29. there was a plan in place that had my world upside down. Minutes that turned my life into years of guilt, pain,  sadness and disappointments. Lived a life eager to hear ‘its not your fault’. 

Now in my 40s realised I was only punishing myself. No one suffered but me. Been a people pleaser just to silence the guilt in me. It ate me up till pain was part of me. Actually felt guilty feeling pain. When the pain I feel was nothing compared to the pain I caused to my loved ones.  

I know I’m different to some extent. I’m trying to like myself. Praise it. Beautifie it. Admire it. Compliment it. Be kind like I’m kind to others. Care for it like I cared for others. I’m still healing and will take the time that was taken away from me. 

mentally been controlled by fear 

ignoring the thoughts that build up, I hear

them calling me to move the steer 

of my life and possibly find what it seems

to have the looks of a dream

hoping to be ahead of my gear

Lets not be our own enemy. We can be our friend. Pursue yourself, yourself will be pursued :)

I always wanted to get married and have a happy family. I was engaged for 6 years and then he decided to end everything. So now I'm just going to focus on finding a new place to stay get a job and give our kid the best possible life I can. I'm falling apart to be honest but pushing through

@SimplyCompassionateI used to think that by this age I would have built a home of my own, but that didn’t happen. Maybe it will happen from now on. If I had known that working life would be this ruthless, I would have chosen a different profession. I try to comfort myself by telling myself that there must be a reason why my prayers have not been accepted.

@SimplyCompassionate

Life has been very surprising and depressing at the same time for me.  I just lost my parents and it's hard to cope with the grief everyday.  But I know I need to function.  I need to work.  I need to pay the bills.  

I wish I won't feel the loneliness but i do everyday.  

Everything, really. I'm new to the space and I wish I joined years ago. I have been fighting job rejections, the aftermath of an abusive relationship, leaving the UK, coming back home (well not really as I wasn't born in this small town) dealing with feeling a failure, leaving behind the industry I was moving forward to, repositioned myself for b2b sales, undertaken an expensive programme and now a student loan that has been messed up.

I spent September 2021/now always indoor, scared to see ppl, to having to explain myself. I was aiming at something big...now I'm a shadow of who I was...

But at least I found this platform 🌟🥺🙏🐻💚

Isn't the 30s called the dirty 30s??

Anything else we need to know for the 40s 50s etc

Not that it helps to know or changes any of that stuff, but dam the 30s have been crazy just like they said

@SimplyCompassionate

What life changes have I gone through? I am in my second marriage, and we have been together for 13 years. We have 4 children together, and two from my first marriage, which he helped me raise for some time. 

Unfortunately, he is a closet alcoholic, and he has chosen to continue on that path, which causes him to lie and cause chaos. I have chosen not to tolerate it any longer and raise my boys on my own, as that is what I have been doing for the better part of the last year and this year. 

What I did not plan was to file for divorce in my 40's and raise my children alone, and also maintain a household with my two oldest, who are now in their 20's. Actually, it has helped me see that my boys and I are much more of a unit than I thought.  I have come to be a self-reliant person instead of a co-dependent person, which is hard after being with someone for so many years. Taking it one day at a time, friends.