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Taking care of our elderly parents

User Profile: pamharley003
pamharley003 8 hours ago

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Hi everyone, I just spent a month taking care of my 94 year old father and spending time with him. Now that I am back I learned a lot from the nurses who take care of him 24/7 what it all entailed to make sure my dad was comfortable and resting well. I have deccided to make a forum post about taking care of elderly parents.

Taking care of our elderly parents

Taking care or our elderly parents requires making sure their physical balance when walking is good so thy may not fall down, tending to their medical needs whether it is driving them to the doctor appoinments, given medication and supporting the conditions, and being their for them emotionally, and physically.

We also need to take care of ourselves and know that we are doing the best we can to support, giude, and love them even if their not wanting help at all. My Dad is bed ridden so it was hard seeing him be this way, I emotionally went into a depression because my Father was always active between the business he owned and playing sports.

I learned with the nurses he has how much it takes to take care of him, and I am ever so grateful to them for the love and support they are giving him. As our parents grow older, they feel they do not want to be a burden on their children because of the lifestyle their living, being married and have children of their own, or living out of state to ask for help.

We can begin early to talk to our parents of their wishes in their elderly life. We can ask what their wishes are, learn their routines of daily life, and what their future goals are toward the end of their lives.  We can watch how they reactt to things to see if dementia may be setting in, and let them know we are here to help them.

I learned  how to care for him in the month long visit and what to look for when the nurses went about taking care of the hojuse or shopping for food for my Dad. I learned how to make him comfortable even when he wanted no help. It hurt to see him confined to a bed or recliner 24/7, he is not able to walk because his bones are too brittle to walk a few steps.

Our parents can be a hand full ( like my father ) and not ask or want help but it something we have to do as we ourselves are getting old. We want them to be happy and be able to do things but sometimes we as their children have to step in and help.

They begin to feel their a buurden to us and feel bad asking for help. Our parents took care of us when we were growing up why not give back to them. I told my Dad you were their for me growing up why can I not be here for you know in his time of need.

Parents become afraid they maybe placed in assisted living facilities and forgotten about. Sad some children may do that but others want to see their parents being able to live in a suitable place of their own and living life.

How can we be there more for our parents?

How can we handle the rejection they may give when helping?

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2
User Profile: AsherTree
AsherTree 5 hours ago

@pamharley003

One thing you can do is keep communication going by calling them regularly and being a active participant in their life.. 🌲

User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 5 hours ago

@pamharley003

I'm glad your dad has you 💛

I care for both my parents , they are in their late sixties, but have many health complications.

The biggest thing they like is communication and still respecting they know what's best for them.

Not treating them as if they don't know their own minds 💛