Weekly Prompt #16: How does fear affect our decision-making process?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: What is your biggest fear? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How does fear affect our decision-making process? Can fear sometimes be a motivating force, pushing us to achieve our goals?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore our decision-making process when we are experiencing fear. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
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I believe fear can hold us back or push us forwards,
for years I wanted to go back to school. However I have a learning disability. I was so fearful of failure. So I settled working dead end jobs thinking I would eventually flow into myself and find my niche. It didn’t happen. I resisted my path to much. Fear wasn’t aligning with me. I needed to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. At 35 years old with a GED diploma from high school I am now in my second year of college with a 4.0 GPA receiving scholarships. I used to let fear mold me. No I dive head first into it. I know no matter what I set my mind to with hard work and dedication I can achieve it!
@AnimalLover1125 Thank you for sharing Animallover <3. I hear how fear held you back for many years from pursuing your education, but how you found the strength within to challenge yourself and dive into the unknown. Your dedication to overcoming challenges through hard work is inspiring. You've clearly demonstrated tremendous growth by facing your fears head-on. What motivates you to continue pushing yourself outside your comfort zone in this way?
@AnimalLover1125
I also have a learning disability and thank you for sharing your story. i am here for you and if you ever want to talk message me.
Aw thank you so much blissfultouch29 I really appreciate that! If you ever need anything as well I’m always here! 🤓 great to chat with you!
@AnimalLover1125
thank you and that goes for you too
Inspirational life experience to motivate people to not give up - thank you - I could imagine many needed to hear this ❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations on your risk taking and your achievements ☺️❤️
Well said! Amazing
@AnimalLover1125 really really proud of you GO YOU!!
Honestly seeing the results, staying aligned with myself, Recognizing when I’m out of balance, and coming up with a clear dedicate plan to complete my task at hand.I was sick mentally and physically for so long. I never felt worthy of anything. I had to totally change every aspect of my life and mindset to see myself for who I really was. Keeping on task, watching and listening to music that inspires me, tapping into my creative side, exercising, self care, and nature keep me going. Finding myself was truly the greatest gift I was granted. Getting to relearn who I am has taught me to never take for granted the person I am. Realizing that a feeling will pass and not letting fear dictate my life gave me my power back!
@AnimalLover1125 Thank you for adding more thoughts. It seems like you've gone through a challenging time in your life but have done the important work of truly getting to know yourself. Finding your identity and inner strength is a huge accomplishment. You also mentioned the importance of recognizing when you're feeling out of balance - being self-aware is so important for well-being. I'm glad to hear you have tools like music, creativity, nature, and self-care to support your journey. Please keep taking your small steps and know each step counting.
@AnimalLover1125 great that is how it's done!!
I have a perfect example of how fear impacted my thought process, Tw: Reactive Abuse/ Child Weaponization/ Mental Abuse/Gaslighting/Misuse of Authorative Figures
Back now 2 years ago during this same exact week, I went through the most horrific situation. No mother on this planet had to go through. My child's biological father was directly disrespecting my wishes as the other parent. I told him that I was not comfortable with her staying for a week, and said a weekend. She was only 6 1/2 months 7 so it made perfectly logical sense, especially because she was still breast/formula fed. Him being her father knew how much she truly meant to me, and would use her as a tool in his manipulation, gaslighting my emotions to make me feel like I was terrible for thinking logically based on her comfortability as well as mine.
When we met up, I was with my now ex. I was babysitting a friend at the times daughter so we were at the park a very public setting. As I was handing her off, he looks at me with the most sinister grin and says "see you in a week or two maybe" My heart began to race, all of my emotions were mixing with another fear being the biggest. I started to cry, because the entire time he was doing this he tried to play mental games of "wanting me back" before he took her, and I denied him.
That's when he sped off with her in the car, and not even 45 mins later I am getting accused of heinous activities around my very daughter. The fear and protectiveness took hold an I went down there to retrieve my daughter in a very calm manner. His parents, especially his mother cursed at me. His step dad, allowed me into the house (the other people followed inside not my intention) found out that she was alone in the living room unattended. I started to see red, but I kept myself calm trying not to let the emotions win. her bio came outside slamming his visit on the wall calling me names, the cops showed up.
The fear within me was screaming, but I told myself to keep calm. My parents said things they shouldnt have on speaker but i assured the cops I would not let any of their words or comments mess with the situation, that I just wanted my daughter back. The cops told me that since she passed the threshold that she had to stay there, I broke inside. My heart shattering to pieces colliding with the fear. They made me leave.. without my baby. Then after the week was up his mom came with the step dad to drop her off with my parents and i infront of the policestation because they were "afraid" of us. Ever since then, I never let her go with him again and always tried to make it a public setting, but he never respected it. Now he is blocked out of our lives.
@PhoenixButterfly97 I am sorry to hear that Phoenix. That is a lot to experience and go through. I understand this brought up a lot of difficult emotions for you, like fear and worry for your daughter's safety. Feeling your heart shatter like that is incredibly painful. The lack of control at that moment must have been incredibly hard. How are you feeling now as you reflect on that experience? You showed great strength in keeping calm despite everything going on.
Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support. you are not alone in this.
I'm doing better and feel good about it because she is with me, an those that shamed me for it only knew half a story that was told. I stayed silent afterwards, what was painful was after he was playing mental games of wanting to get back together, he was already in a relationship with person he with now. she also contributed into bringing me down. She wanted to know my side of things, but i tried too even though it wasn't her business in the first place.She then disrespected me and I blocked her just like I blocked him.
@PhoenixButterfly97 It sounds like you've experienced some difficult and hurtful situations with past relationships. Feeling disrespected and needing to set boundaries like blocking contact can be painful things to go through. You mentioned feeling better now - what things have helped your healing process?
One of the biggest things that helped was moving in with my grandparents for awhile, I was able to remove/ release anything that was not serving me. As well as, rid of those that only ask me for money, never how I am. Creating a stronger bond with myself and my daughter. Then next thing I knew I was in love with my now fiance moving into our apartment.
@PhoenixButterfly97 That is good to hear phoenix. It sounds like making some positive changes in your living situation and focusing on your relationship with your daughter and now fiancé has helped you through challenging times. You've found strength within and seem to have a caring support system around you now.
@PhoenixButterfly97 admiration and congratulations fighting through all this for what is best for your daughter. You did great!!
Fear is a huge factor in my decision making process, but fear does have its place and it can be helpful. Does it help me personally achieve my goals, no. Fear makes me avoid my goals, but it does help keep me safe. I could see it pushing others to achieve their goals though.
@akay06 Thank you for sharing your thoughts on fear and how it impacts decision-making. It sounds like you've given this reflection. Fear serving to keep us safe at times makes sense. I wonder, what helps you navigate fear to still work towards your goals? You seem aware of how fear affects you personally.
How does fear affect our decision-making process? Can fear sometimes be a motivating force, pushing us to achieve our goals? Yes usually i am one to challenge the fears however recently it has made it harder because of the that came true if that makes sense
@blissfulTouch29 It makes sense that facing fears that have come true would make challenges feel harder. How have you been coping with this change? However, you seem resilient in your willingness to still face fears, even when met with difficulty.
@ASilentObserver
I am struggling honestly with the coping of the fear
@blissfulTouch29 I understand this is a difficult time for you with struggling with fear. You're not alone in facing challenges with your emotions. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.
@ASilentObserver
Thank you
Fear can unconsciously boost confidence after a task is done well
Fear can increase after a task isn’t done to the best efforts
Too much can exhaust you but just a bit can balance it out
@GoldenRuleJG Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Golden. It sounds like you've been giving this some deep thought. Fear can impact us in complex ways. What kinds of tasks have you noticed bring on different feelings of fear?
I think not being new and working your way around which I strongly believe is normal for everyone … sometimes you naturally pick things up quickly and other times you don’t and it’s about being compassionate towards that ❤️
@GoldenRuleJG It sounds like being compassionate with yourself during times when things don't come as easily is important
@ASilentObserver
It makes me avoid things. I tend to postpone making a decision until some options become unavailable and there is basically no decision to make, or I do whatever seems least demanding at the last minute.
@Buzzingbeezon Buzz, it sounds like making decisions can feel demanding at times.You're not alone in finding decision-making challenging at moments. What contributes to that feeling?
@ASilentObserver
I'd say, mostly low self-esteem. I don't trust my ability to make a judgment. I often feel I don't know enough. I don't want to make a fool of myself, so I hardly ever leave my comfort zone and take initiative.
@Buzzingbeezon I hear you. It sounds like low self-esteem is weighing you down and making it difficult to step outside your comfort zone. You mentioned feeling like you don't know enough - what makes you feel that way?
@ASilentObserver
The first thing that comes to mind is my parents… I don't feel I should put all the blame on them, though. I try to understand that they saw some potential and wanted to motivate me. They just didn't know how to do it.
For them, it wasn't enough that I was just good, or sometimes among the best. I should have been the best. The best in school, the winner of the content, etc. They noticed mostly what I did wrong. Not what I did right. And compared me with others.
I think that sometimes, fear can prevent us from choosing to “take a leap of faith,” aka, try something new that we may be afraid of, which may be because of fear of failure, fear of not living up to our expectations, or fear of embarrassing ourselves doing something new.
@ASilentObserver
Fear is sometimes useful. If you are alone walking down the street at night and notice you are being followed, fear can motivate you to seek shelter or help.
Fear is a good motivation to flee a burning building.
I think otherwise fear kills our joy and our best lives.
I think this vid says it all! https://youtu.be/1srs1YoTVzs?si=egPi7sG8nIFdC0GT
It accelerates our decision processes, which may lead for better or worse. Sometimes, it leads to a leap or faith, or an undesirable outcome.
@SimonNocedaStevenson It sounds like decision-making can be both an opportunity and a challenge. What feelings come up for you in regard to the outcomes you've experienced?
At least it is what I made, not a cause of randommess.